Fear Factor: What's Scarier Than Being Thrown Into a Pit of Snakes?

Here’s a list of a few of the things I’d rather do right now than complete this stupid synopsis:

Be tied to a stake and burned to death (you die of the smoke inhalation first anyway)

Fish tomatoes out of a tank of snakes with just my mouth (I saw this on a reality show. They used pissed off garden snakes. I’d rethink this if they were actually using cobras or something.)

Substitute teach (yeah, you heard me) a group of high-schoolers about Henry David Thoreau, even though I’ve never read him and never got why he was a big deal since his writing was as engaging as watching paint dry.

House work.

Folders.

Yep. It’s bad.

But I went to the trusty web and pulled off some articles about synopsis writing; and then I headed off to lunch to pick the best one to follow. Of the four articles, three scared me right off. They babbled about hooks and using your writer’s voice; I nearly went into a coma several times just trying to get through the articles. But the fourth, “The Top Ten Questions For A Successful Synopsis” by Victoria Ardito, was engaging and easy to follow. Plus she used a Disney story to prove her point. How could I resist?

So let’s jump right in, shall we?

Who is the heroine and what does she want?

Well, that should be relatively easy, right? Okay: Livie Foster is a single (is this redundant? Hmm) 28-year-old secretary who sews costumes in her spare time and dreams of dating a guy who isn’t searching for a love like the Titanic. She longs for adventure, but mostly she longs for acceptance. I’m going to have to use a different identifier for her. That secretary bit is boring, but what else can she do? Shark-hunter? Argh.

Who is the hero and what does he want?

I’m not looking forward to this. Livie should have been the easy one! Okay: Ben Tucker is a spoiled brat who was turned into a beast…maybe not…32-year-old married charmer, who is the brother-in-law to Livie’s best friend. He wishes for someone to see the real him, not the philanderer everyone assumes him to be. But the woman who seems to understand him most—isn’t his wife—and longing for her gives credit to all the rumors.

What brings the hero and heroine together?

Livie and Ben meet at a New Year’s Eve party; and later, they have to work together as they are both in her best friend’s wedding.

What problem do they encounter at their first meeting or shortly thereafter?

Livie finds out he’s married and the “rat bastard” no one else can stand.

How do they overcome the initial problem and achieve some measure of success?

Livie gives Ben the benefit of the doubt and becomes friends with him because she believes her friend’s assessment of Ben might be prejudiced without facts. The more she hangs out with him, the more she sees a caring nice guy rather than a villain. Plus he’s not cheating with her on his wife—and she’s not really sure how he’d have time to fit in another woman. (Tolerable, perhaps; though this runs into that philosophical question of: “when is it cheating? When they’re doing the deed? Or is being friends enough since that is a sort of ‘emotional’ cheating?” I’m beginning to really hate my hero. And even if he’s not married, only dating someone serious—this is still a moral question. Ah, well, life’s not perfect, hmm?)

What happens to spoil initial success?

Hard to narrow this one down. Is it the wedding reception scene or the crashed party later? At the wedding reception, his wife confronts Livie—and Livie is mortified and realizes how appearances are far more condemning than truth. Doesn’t want to be a ‘homewrecker’ figuratively or literally. She makes the choice that reflects this; and the crashed party is re-confirmation of this choice.

Where does this problem lead?

They don’t get together, and this leads to more unhappiness all around, though they try to move on with their respective lives. While on a group float trip, Ben and Livie get caught in a compromising situation, and Ben punches Livie’s boyfriend to defend her honor.

What risk do hero and heroine take to deal with new challenge?

Livie is given an ultimatum to choose between her friendship and Ben. She chooses neither and refuses to talk to anyone.

Ben separates from his wife and pursues Livie, after resettling in his own apartment.

What is their dark moment?

Ben is shot by a mystery woman, leading all to believe that he is a cheater—and that he’s cheating on Livie. (I know. This is where all of you are going: WTF? What mystery woman?!? The one who shot him in the opening hook, guys.)

How do they get their HEA?

Livie decides to trust Ben rather than believe what is circumstantial evidence. Ben lives. It is revealed that it is Ben’s brother who is cheating—and Ben has been covering (protecting) him. (Ha, I bet you guys didn’t see that coming. That’s okay. I didn’t either. Dee had to tell me that little tidbit. She was completely convinced that was my major twist, and how could I not agree?)

Now I have to go back and turn this into a present-tense bit of writing, but it’s possible to do so.

The other keys everyone kept harping about?

Don’t refer to the other secondary characters by name. This should be about the romantic arc between your hero and heroine, so your secondary characters should remain as secondary as possible by being nameless.

Have an opening hook. (This one gave me hives.) Basically something that’s on the back of the novel—the blurb. Show off your writing voice here, definitely. Ask the novel’s story question.

Be concise. Don’t tell everything that happens. Cover the main plot turning points.

Clearly even though I've answered the questions, the synopsis (and the book) still need a lot of work. And I'm sorry for those of you who didn't want to know the twist until it was published. (Honestly since there is a snowball's chance of this particular book being published, we'll consider this an exercise in how to write my next book...and synopsis.)

Anyone done a synopsis yet? Any tips to make it easier? Anything you’d rather be doing than writing it? Any tomato-divers out there? House work junkies?