So, you’re shuffling along in your story, plowing through scene upon scene like Captain Jack Sparrow cutting the crowd at a party on his way to the rum punch. When I say you, I am, of course, referencing the ubiquitous you, the you that would be all of us if we were sitting at our keyboard writing this instance. Hey, it’s easier on me psychologically if it’s you and not me. Stay with me here. So, you’re plugging along in your story and suddenly, blam, you start questioning yourself. How am I doing? You worry. Will anyone want to read this? You fret. Who cares what I have to say anyway?! You panic. These conversations can occur late at night while you’re wired up on caffeine or feeling a little loopy from an extra glass of wine. But, they can definitely occur when you’re in the middle of your WIP and you’re starting to question what in the name of Peter, Paul, and Mary got you moving along this particular writing path in the first place.
Not pointing any fingers here, but that’s definitely happened to someone on this boat. Ok, I give up. It’s me. In fact, my moments of vulnerability have been aired out on my own blog and my critique group here on the boat are certainly privy to them.
Now, what keeps you, er... me, ok us, going through this? What stops us from closing up that file and burying it under our beds (or at least in the back of the Word.doc files)? What gives us the strength to keep writing through the black moments in our work?
Our point, that’s what. That bit of truth at the core of the story.
And don’t tell me that you don’t have a point because I’m sure you do.
I’ve been reading romance a long time and the books that stay with me stay because they said something. Their message or core idea didn’t have to end poverty, promote world peace, or cure cancer but it had to resonate inside of me. At the end, I would put the book down and feel uplifted, like I understood the world just little better.
This past week, I realized that I had something to say. Who knew, huh?
In my WIP, my heroine, Cory, watched her father’s unrequited love of her mother and vows to avoid love’s complications in her own marriage. My hero, Will, has been burned by love in the past and isn’t sure that it’s worth trying again. Through the course of their story, they realize that love is worth any risk.
Sounds like an ok story, right? My characters learn something, the end. But, in fact, this story means more to me than that. This story gets at what I personally have to say to the world; that really, there isn’t anything as important as love.
This message is what keeps me pushing. I know that others have tackled this theme. I have no delusions that I am the first, or last, writer to express this thought. But, like those great stories I’ve read, I’m hoping that I tell the story in such a way that my reader, after turning that last page, feels like they understand the world a little bit better too.
So, dearest wenches, what is it that you are trying to say (ie, what’s your Core Idea)? What keeps you writing your story through your black moments? How do you shore up that sagging middle? And when do you feel the weakest in your writing, morning, night, beginning of story vs the end, sex scenes vs black moments? Do tell.
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24 comments:
Wow what a blog marnee.
I think we all have insecurities once in a while and question if we can really do this. You know?
weaknesses in writing? sometimes I glaze over the deeper meaning of what needs to be said between characters. And while I am clear as to where my characters coming from---readers are not.
Great blog, Marnee. Insecurities suck. But I realized last night that all artists struggle with this and it never goes away.
This is a strange story but stay with me. Watching Project Runway last night, this designer who has been on the chopping block almost every week actually won the challenge last night. When they asked him what was wrong, he said he felt like he was on a roller coaster ride and it was just hard because you never know if you suck or if you don't suck.
That's when one of the judges - a very successful American designer - said, "It never goes away." I realized that writing a book felt just like trying to design that perfect dress and no matter how much I write or how much I sell (fingers crossed!), that feeling of "DO I SUCK?!" will never go away.
Now that I've cheered everyone up....I'll shut up. LOL!
But that is a great story, Ter. And it's the trust for artists--we are our own worst enemy--we just need to know when to listen to that voice and went to tune it out.
That's it. We need a volume knob. LOL! Which leads right back to listening to music. Turn it up and drown out the voices in your head.
And good point - there are times we NEED to listen to that voice. Oh yeah, that feather thing is so gone. LOL!
I sometimes wonder if I sabotage myself, because every single thing I've finished has broken some major romance rule. Maybe I just haven't found my niche yet. This is where it would help if I actually outlined, LOL.
But, Maggie, you might be the only one doing this right. I can't count how many times I've heard editors and agents say give me something new, something different that I've never read before. You've got that in spades.
Besides, what's the point of having rules if you don't break them?
I always doubt my writing. I think doubting keeps me in check. It makes me walk a line, and demand nothing from myself but my best.
What I hope to convey in my WIP is that being vulnerable is not such a bad thing. My heroine's father walked out on her and her mom when she was 10. She has the attitude that she doesn't need a man, she can take care of herself. She finds out that when push comes to shove, and a stalker is threatening her existance, having an ex Navy Seal as a bodyguard is not a bad thing.
A deeper meaning *biting lower lip* I shall refrain.
I don't have a deeper meaning to my WIP. It's a mystery. My heroine has trust and relationship issues. And she hates herself. She doesn't have a great relationship with her mother. She holds her only friend at arm's length. But I'm hoping in her first book she learns that control isn't something you can hold onto forever.
I have major insecurities about writing. I don't have black moment problems or plotting problems or sex problems (maybe too much of it) but I have the "I suck" problem. I'm always banging my head on my desk, repeating over and over again "God, I suck. I suck, I suck, I suck..." and so on and so forth. Will I ever get over it? Not likely.
And I have horrible beginning problems. I don't know what my problem is. I just can't start a book off right.
Enough issues or should I write more? LOL
And Lis, I'll take a slice of the boxer and the Ex-Seal to go. Wrap them up with a pretty red bow.
:)
Oh, and I forgot to say this was a great blog Marnee!
Morning guys!
Tiff - I think knowing when to turn off the insecurity voice and when to listen is a key skill.
Terri - That's a great story. :) It's rough doing something artistic. When I write, I feel like I'm leaving a little piece of myself out there, so if people don't like it, they don't like me. I know that's ridiculous when I look at it logically, but logic isn't involved there. :)
Maggie - I agree with Terri. You power through to try new things. That's a great way to work through the tough times.
Lissa! What a positive way to look at doubt! It does make sure you do your best. I hadn't even looked at it that way. :)
Sin, I beg to differ with you. I bet you do have a point, you just might have to wait til you get to the end to figure it out. If you know your characters are going to change, then you have a point (or so I am hypothesizing).
And you do not suck. I know that for sure.
But Sin writes her ending first, remember? I know she has a point, she just needs to get to the middle and then it will smack her upside the head.
I guess my point is that you can't be a coward. You have to take risks. And like your point, love is worth the risk. A pivotal moment of my story comes when the hero calls the heroine a coward and puts the ball in her court. She either has to take the risk or risk losing him forever. Not an easy choice.
Exactly. My ending is defined already. Because I know my twist. And I know who is going to be stalker her the entire time (it has to do with the twist). I even have an idea of my next four books afterwards. :)
My point will come. I'm sure of it.
Marnee...if my doubt is seen as a positive I'lll take it! LOL
I didn't say it earlier but awesome blog!
Sin...I'll trade you a slice of Cutter/Maverick pie if you send over a Ruiz/Ash samwich:)
Terrio I liked your Project Runway analysis, the designer is absolutely right. It never goes away, but I would worry if I didn't doubt myself.
I'll take a bite of that samwich. Yummy!
Great point, Lis. There's another designer on there who is not bad but his attitude is horrible. He's young and says everyone else's stuff is ugly and never doubts his is the best of the entire bunch. He's horrid and if that's the alternative, I'll keep my doubts.
I'll do that. Maybe you can control Ruiz. Or wear him out.
Ter, you're more than welcome to join in the melay.
And I also agree if there wasn't doubt, I would be worried. I need that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach to keep me on track.
Doubts are good. It keeps the human in our writing, I think.
As long as we work through them of course.
Great blog!!! I have insecurities all the time. And not just about writing. It's a wonder I leave my house...oh, wait, I'm home now.
Weaknesses in writing? I think it could all stand improving. *LOL* My dialog is probably the strongest thing I have; and everything else needs to be worked on.
Core themes in my stories? I think my core story in my books are: "Being loved in spite of oneself." *LOL* I'm not sure if that'll make sense, but it does to me. I think many people write to make sense of themselves--and this is a way to unravel our insecurities and make positive endings out of them. Like if we just make a plan or a positive outcome of it happening, then it could happen for ourselves too.
Hellion - I love your core idea. Not being loved for what we are, but in spite of it. :) LOL!! Good stuff.
And I've read snippets of your stuff and you are too humble.
Another terrific blog!
I think it was E.L. Doctorow who wrote, "Every time you compose a book your composition of yourself is at stake." That's the heart of our insecurities as writers. We aren't just putting pages out there for someone else to read and judge; we are putting pieces of ourselves out there.
Some of the oldest themes in romance are separation and reunion and reenactment of a fall and redemption. These themes link the popular romances of the 21st century with Classical and Medieval romances. These are the themes I love to read, and the ones I hope resound in my writing.
Wow, Janga! Thank you for your intelligent response and so on point!
I love Doctorow and I think you're right on target about your themes. They are some of my favorites to both read and write. :)
Marnee--it took me the whole d--- book to know what the core idea/theme was.
All my brilliant cp's had already written theirs down in this little on-line journal we keep, and here I am, just slapping down anything that might possibly be connected with my story :)
Sometimes, you need your characters to tell you what the point of it all is :)
Great post!
Gillian - like Sin, I think there is nothing wrong with figuring it out at the end, as long as you figure it out before an editor sees it! LOL!!
I didn't know what my core/theme or "buzzword" was until the end of the book. Like a month or two AFTER I'd written the end, when we were playing the "What's your book mean?" game for the billionth time and I realized, "Hey, I might have an answer this time!"--and decided my finished manuscript's buzzword/theme was "perception"
Okay, whether an editor will buy this is something else altogether.
Marnee, I maybe a uber-insecure, "humble" pirate, but I'm a smart one too. Do you think I'm going to post a snippet of my worst stuff of the day? I'm just happy the group restricts the snippets to like a paragraph. I can usually find a paragraph.
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