Winging it Despite Total Chaos

Really, what better way is there?

Last night, right before midnight, my contest deadline hit. And I’ve gotta say, I’ve written better. I’ve written a helluva lot cleaner. And I’ve done a better job with characters. But I tried something new. I blazed a path I hadn’t taken before and wrote in third person. I can’t say that it was fun. But I pushed through it. I learned that I’m a first person writer. That’s for sure. I learned that I can write 20,000 words in 12 hours if it’s after midnight. Most of it was crap and had to be revised, but I put an END on it and went about my merry way rewriting and revising to the point I was cross-eyed.

I’ve spoke about winging it before. Winging it is more like controlled chaos (okay no such thing). I’m a pantser. I wing my blogs. I wing my way through writing. And I wing my way through life (most of the time). I suppose that just shows you that I like to break the rules. So if I have to learn something, well, I just do it. I had no idea how to write in third person. I had no idea how I was going to write a story in 18,000 words or less. I really didn’t know what I was going to write about. I wrote the end, then wrote another ending. Changed the beginning- oh I dunno- six times. Took scenes out. Added them back in. Jumped POV (really, the ability to jump POV is not a good thing for me. I’m seriously ADHD with POV’s) and decided that maybe an erotica in first person would’ve been a better choice.

*sigh* Then I figured that might get kinda pervy and ditched that idea.

All the while, I was working my buns off mentally to get this story right. I had my characters right. I could see them in my mind’s eye. I could hear their voice. Interacted with them while I was sleeping. Spent countless nights being up until way past my bedtime with the laptop on and the Word document up. Discovered a new love for heavy metal cellist. And Borders’ clearance sales. All the while, I was thinking about my story. How was I going to make it work? How was I going pull it together when I couldn’t fight my way out of a paper sack at this point?

I wanted to give up. I even thought about it a few times. More than a few times. It would’ve been easy to pretend the file went “poof” and not be able to write another one. But all things good in life are hard to come by. A story is the same way. You never know when it might come to you on how to make it click. In my case, it was 3am on Monday night last week. I had to write it down on my notebook on my nightstand and I woke up the next morning looking at it like it was written in code.

So I guess the point to this most irrelevant blog today is if you don’t succeed the first time, you better not pretend like you lost the file and walk away. No matter if there is chaos going on inside of that little pantser mind of yours. Keep thinking. Keep going. Don’t give up. Believe in yourself.

My question of the day is: Which POV do you prefer to write in, first or third? Why? And have you ever tried the other just to see what you could do?

Here We Go Again

I sort of had a very busy year in 2007. You might have read me whining about it somewhere. I don't mean to whine, it just happens. And I know that I'm my own worst enemy but I'm starting this year fresh with a positive attitude and lofty goals. Both in writing and for life in general.

But one week in and I'm already worried. This weekend, I was elected conference chair for my local RWA chapter. That means I am the top-dog, chick-in-charge of putting together our writing conference in November. The good news is, I have a co-chair and we are teaming with another chapter about 90 minutes away so I'm not completely alone in this. Delegate, delegate, delegate is my new motto. *g*

But I'm a planner and my instinct is to look ahead and see how things can fall into place. In my juggling act, I have these little balls I have to keep in the air and they all have something written on them. Work (so we can have a home and eat), college (so we can have a better home and eat better), single-momhood (because my life would be meaningless without her), writing (because these voices would drive me crazy if I tried to shut them up), planning my company's year end holiday party (because I have to) and now planning a large annual writers conference (because I'm an idiot and glutton for punishment). Let's not forget my blogging duties upon this ship. But that's a true labor of love so we'll let it slide.

Here's the thing – I'm looking forward to all of this. Ok, not so much the school stuff but it's a means to an end and I'm not about to quit now. But everything else, I'm ready to dive right in. I know, I'm crazy.

What I've learned about myself is if I'm not doing at least two or three things at one time, I'm not happy. Other than writing, sleeping and driving, there are very few times I do only one thing exclusively. Even when I'm driving, I'm usually making calls or listening to an audio book. I seem to plot while I'm trying to sleep so even then I'm multi-tasking. Writing is my only escape and without the pressure of everything else, I might not find the enjoyment in it that I do.

I used to think all this multi-tasking might be doing more harm than good but now I've changed my mind. I'm a born procrastinator and having to get so much done is the only way I would get anything done. And I still manage to slack. Seriously, you should see my house. On second thought, no you shouldn't.

I was talking on the phone this weekend with a writer friend and the subject of Nora Roberts came up. My friend said, "Wouldn't it be great to get up everyday and have nothing to do but write?" Let me note here I KNOW Nora does much more than write but hang with me. At first I thought, sure. But the more I think about it, the more I think I would hate it. And I don't mean I'd hate just writing, I'd hate doing anything if it was all I did. I guess I need the chaos to feel in control. Does that make sense?

How about you? Do you thrive on chaos or do you need calm? Do you have my problem of taking on more than you probably should or are you to the point where saying no comes as naturally as breathing? And if you've mastered the word "no", can you let me know how you did it?

Aside: In my defense, they tried to elect me conference chair and publicity coordinator and I told them I could not do both. That's progress right there. LOL!