We wenches here on the RWR talk about stereotypes a lot. We talk about stereotypical romance characters; we talk about stereotypical romance plots. Being the pirates we are, we bash our heads against expectations in our writing and attempt to bend stereotypes in order to write a fresh book. And though we find these stereotypes frustrating, some of the stereotypes I find most frustrating are the ones out there about romance novelists.
I was watching “Romancing the Stone” this past week. For those of you unfamiliar with this movie, it stars Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner. The plot of the movie revolves around romance writer Joan Wilder, played by Kathleen Turner, who travels to Colombia to find her kidnapped sister. She falls in love with a mercenary and the two become romantically involved as they search for a precious stone which the kidnappers want.
I have a love/hate relationship with this movie. It’s an entertaining flick with lots of chemistry between Turner and Douglas. There are plenty of action-packed plot twists and it satisfies my romantic nature, what with the whole HEA.
However, I hate the stereotypes it plays in to about romance writers. In the beginning of the movie Joan Wilder is frumpy, nearly anti-social, and has virtually no sex appeal. She's a cautious mouse living her exciting life through her books. Worse, she is what I always think the public expects romance novelists to be: a bunch of sex-starved, out-of-touch-with-reality ninnies.
She does change as a result of her relationship with Douglas' character. However, her transformation brings up so many feminist/post-feminist arguments that I will save that for someone else's blog.
But, my main issue with how the "romance novelist" is portrayed is that it doesn’t jive with the romance writers I know. We’re an intellectual lot, I think, with plenty of degrees, and advanced degrees, among us. The majority of us are busy with our real lives while we try to carve a niche for ourselves in the industry. We’re doctors, lawyers, teachers, secretaries, librarians, and pirates. We’re wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, and goddesses. With all the nametags and hats we all wear, some of us even wearing multiple nametags/hats at the same time, it's insulting to try to define us so narrowly.
Yet, I know a lot of us write “in the closet” because we don’t want to deal with all the stuff people believe about us.
So, tell us what stereotypes you think exist for romance writers. Which ones do you think are valid and which ones do you think are ridiculous and, if you write in secret, which of them, if any, keep you silent? Also, can you think of any other pop cultural portrayals of romance novelists? Perhaps some that make us out to be the super-writers we are? If so, do tell!
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38 comments:
I may have a degree and sometimes write dirty, but I'm really kind of shy. I would rather stay home in my pajamas than go to a party at this point in my life. So the idea of mixing with hundreds of other people and "selling" myself is frankly scary. So I guess I AM the stereotype, LOL. At least I don't keep cats.
Great blog, Marnee. Though I thought you were setting out to hook us single pirates up. Oh well. I think I need to go back and watch this movie again.
All the years I spent reading romance and knowing nothing about the authors, I'm sure I thought they all had these glamorous lives and were just like the women and men they wrote about. Now that I know more about authors, I realize they are people with ordinary lives much like mine - they are just more awesome.
I never hid the fact I read romances and now I don't hide the fact I'm writing them. I have no problem talking to people and I don't get defensive or feel the need to defend myself against silly stereotypes.
I kind of like the idea of people thinking whatever they want. If they think I'm a sex-deprived spinster living vicariously through my characters or an oversexed woman writing about my own experiences - either way I find it highly amusing. *g*
Great blog Marnee! I guess I’m kind of like Maggie. I’m an introvert and have NEVER liked being the center of attention, or having any attention whatsoever, for that matter. In my opinion, though, that doesn’t have as much to do with my fear of discovery as the age old misconception that romance is for the unintelligent. As with anything else in my life, I’ve spent most of my adult life fighting against prejudices learned when I was a child.
I think as a whole, though, a lot of it is a male/female thing. Actually, the more I think about it, it really doesn’t have as much to do with a male-female thing, as it does with the characteristics that have been attributed to males and females through the centuries. Women have been characterized as being emotional and feeling, whereas Men have been characterized as being logical and thinking. Unfortunately, logical and thinking have always been more respected and given more weight than emotional and feeling. It has just been in the last 50-100 years (a very short time really) that the possibility of women and men sharing all of those characteristics, or that the women’s characteristics are actually very important, has come about.
So, since romances are mostly about emotions and feelings I think they are therefore, looked down upon as not being as intelligent, thought provoking or relevant, which is a shame because I think just the opposite. I think the reason this world is in the trouble it’s in right now, especially with our young, is because no one pays attention to the emotional well being of the children they are raising. If you can’t raise an emotional, feeling human being you end up with a non-emotional, anti-social drain on society.
Wow, what was the question? LOL
I also think that slowly but surely the stereotypes are being broken. Due in a huge part to women like Terri - writng what she just wrote! Eloisa, JQ, SEP, Jennifer Crusie, Balogh, Beverley, the list goes on and on, all coming out and showing their wit and intelligence and dispelling the stereotypes.
I also think that my reticence has more to do with my lack of confidence as a writer and not that I write romance. Almost anyone who knows me, knows I read romances. I just don't let anyone know I'm attempting to write one.
Wow guys, good start today!
Maggie - I don't think being shy means being out of touch. And I have cats! OMG, I might be the stereotype!! LOL!!!
Ter - My matchmaking blog is still in the works.... LOL! But, Irish is right, you rock for being out there about what you're doing! I haven't gotten to that point of confidence yet, but I sure hope I do soon!
and Irish - thank you so much for your insight! I agree about the authors out there expelling myths. I think they've made the climate for us easier and I hope, when we publish, we all can do the same.
Everyone has their detractors - Shakespeare, Austen, Hemingway, Fitzgerald. It's art and that's automatically subjective. As I always say, opinions are like assholes, everybody has one. *g*
Very concise, Ter. I love that you just elevated us to Shakespeare and Austen. :)
"Joan Wilder is frumpy, nearly anti-social, and has virtually no sex appeal. She's a cautious mouse living her exciting life through her books. Worse, she is what I always think the public expects romance novelists to be: a bunch of sex-starved, out-of-touch-with-reality ninnies."
Holy Jesus, I'm Joan Wilder.
I love how Ter managed to elevate us with Shakespeare, then finished the statement about assholes. *LOL* Actually Shakespeare would be proud.
Irish, you're dead on! You are on a tear today--that was brilliant!
Marnee, great blog!!! Unfortunately, I am the stereotype, I think. Though I get bent if the guy with me asks if I like writing soft core porn. That just pisses me off. *LOL*
I did see a movie where the guy was a romance novelist...what was it called? Something with Carolina in it the title...
Has anyone see Slapshot? There's a part in it where one of the players is talking to another one and he says, "Your wife must love you. She reads those romance novels and underlines all the f*ck scenes for you." (Paraphrased of course). DH loves that movie.
Not sure what made me think of that. The soft core porn comment I think.
I do think that guys particularly think that is all that's in a romance novel. Who needs characters, I guess? LOL!
Yeah, that's all that interests guys. The sex. And then usually you get one of two reactions.
1.) "COOL! OMG, this is detailed! Is this like, uh, writing down your fantasies? Is this YOUR fantasy? Do you want to go get some coffee and discuss the chapter?"
OR
2.) "That's so dumb. That's the most cleaned up version of sex I've ever seen. This is girly-woman sex; not real manly, gritty, sweaty, dirty sex. It's a bore. Do you want to have sex so I can show you the difference?"
Where do you meet these men? I've never gotten one to read a romance. LOL! I think they could serve a very good purpose as an instruction manual or at least a great way to drop some hints.
LOL!! Though, both those reactions are better than...
"he he he, there's, like, sex in here and stuff.... he he he... I like, well, like sex too.... he he he."
Wait, maybe that's just the guys I dated....
You're right, Marnee, that IS more how the conversation goes. I suppose I can be forgiven for making the men sound more intelligent than they actually come off.
No, Terr, they don't actually read the novel. They usually rip the book out of your hand like you're in 2nd grade, flip to the middle, their eyes bulge as they see something like, "His cock slid into her" and they are riveted for about three paragraphs. Then they make their "he, he" statement...and that usually ends their experience of romance novel reading.
Oh, then the guys I know are not out of the norm. LOL!
A co-worker picked up one of my books once and started reading out loud. When he read a sentence with the word "manhood" in it, my first reaction was how differently that sounded in my head from hearing it aloud. LOL!
Then I was highly entertained by all the shades of red that went over his face.
Tee hee. The word manhood does actually sound better than in my head than out loud.
*Marnee, puttering around her house, vacuuming, muttering the word "manhood" repeatedly*
I tend to look at romances and men vs. women the way I look at everything else having to do with men vs. women. We just think differently. We're wired differently. It's that simple. The key is that our thinking is not wrong or faulty or less than, as it has been portrayed through history.
As long as there are men and women, there are going to be wars over what is more important emotion or logic, feeling or thinking, romance or action. The smart ones are the ones that learn to compromise and learn from each other. Hollywood has caught on. How else do you explain movies like The Pirates of the Carribean?! Combine romance with action and voila you have a blockbuster.
I love the asshole comment. I'll have to remember that next time someone offers an opinion I don't agree with. (Although bringing myself to say it might prove a bit difficult!) LOL
Irish, you're on a roll today. I agree completely. I was going to say a lot of this sounds Men/Women, visual/emotional stuff. The way men want the light on all the time. That sort of stuff.
A romance and action. Like Hermione and Ron in HP&DH. When they're about to go into battle and she throws herself at him. Ah.... That's good love scenes.
Just the thought of Irish telling someone that opinions are like assholes is enough to keep me in stitches.
Marnee, I can't wait to see the last book in movie format. I hope they have the R&H scenes. That basilisk scene is kick ass!
I completely agree. I love Ron and Hermione, what a great couple. JK should write romance. :)
I think the Half Blood Prince, with all their spats and heartache, is going to be so fun to see too. I love HP.
Someday I'll read those books. I was just having this argument with the Wee One the other night. She was watching one of the movies (I have no idea which one) and she said the last book was the only movie left. I explained there were two more left but honestly, I wasn't sure. Good to know I was right.
Or are there three left? Really, Harry is going to be the oldest looking teenager by the time these are all out.
LOL, Marnee. I could talk for days about Men/Women stuff. Before I got into my relationsihp with the DH I read every book written on the subject, watched instructional videos and was in counseling for years! I was pretty determined to figure out why some relationships worked and others didn't. I feel like I could teach a class on it.
Yeah, Hellion, I think I might have a hard time with that one. Unless of course it's one of my brothers offering up his opinion then I'd have no problem whatsoever. Hey, the holidays are upon us, I'm having the whole crew over for a Xmas party. The odds one of them is going to piss me off with an unwanted opinion is huge! The trick is hoping there are no little ears within hearing distance.
Ter, you haven't read them yet!? Sister, you had best get cracking. They're really really awesome.
Irish, that info will definitely help in your writing, I'm sure. And apparently it worked for you as your DH sounds like a winner. :)
The DH was just saying the other night he wanted to sit down and watch all the HP movies in order with the family. I think my kids watched part of one once and got freaked out. We were going to revisit the possibility over the holidays.
My sister is trying to get the two of them to listen to the HP books on tape! She's a huge books on tape person and says the person who reads HP is the best! I've been kinda pulling my mother card out on that one and saying I'd rather they READ the books than LISTEN to them.
I think I need to take that class.
Marnee - you should see the books I've yet to read. The pile is endless!
Oh, I could listen to them. I need to make someone buy me those for Christmas!
I think I had a copy of them, up until Goblet of Fire, somewhere. If I find and haven't already given to someone else, I'll send them along. (I do tend to pass along though, so we'll see if I can track them down).
You should do that Ter! She says the person who reads them is awesome. She could listen to him forever.
The HP books on CD are PHENOMENAL! I love them. I check them out from my library ALL the time. Jim Dale rocks.
Irish, I hear you, but you should give the books on CD a try...he does such a great job. Or maybe listen as you read along?
Yes, there are two movies left. They're filming 6; and writing 7, I believe. JK should write romance. *LOL*
And I have like 34 hours of driving to do in the last two weeks of December. That would be a great way to kill the time.
I wonder if I could find them at the library.
I've never read them or seen the movies! I have to get with it! Maybe we'll all stay in our jammies one day over Xmas break and have a HP movie-a-athon!
Listening as we read along is a great idea, Hellion! Although at this point I know they'd just rather watch the movie!
My neighbor would not let her kids watch the movies until they read the book.
I would never have read the books if I had not watched the first movie. I thought it was HYPE, and I hate fantasy novels. A kid wizard? How stupid is that, I thought.
Then some goofy date-guy took me to see it. I only agreed because he paid...and I'd rather watch a movie than talk to him--and I absolutely fell in love with HP. I read the first four books by New Year's after the first movie came out in 2001. Then I had to wait two years for the 5th book to come out.
Watching the movie first is not always bad. The books are better, but sometimes the movie primes the pump.
This was a great blog, Marnee!
I've gotta say that when I was younger, I would hide the books that I read so that I wouldn't get teased in school; but now that I'm older... people get told to get bent when they crack a joke about my romance novel addiction.
Now when I talk about what I'm writing, I boldly say that I'm working on a romantic suspense novel, heavy on the suspense and sex. My DH gives me weird looks, but sometimes you just have to counteract those looks with a knock on the noggin with a iron skillet. He stereotypes me as not the type of person to write a trash novel (little does he know what a trash novel is). I say you just have to work past stereotypes and do what comes naturally to you. Be bold and loud, and if not, show them through your writing that it's not about being a stereotype, it's about being an author. No matter what you write.
Hey, can you believe I just found this blog!?!
It's great! And what a good post. You know, I've moved from one maligned, mousy profession (librarianship) to one that gets even LESS respect in movies and life (romance novelist). Sigh. But I suppose it's fun breaking the stereotypes. When I was young and cute, I loved meeting guys at parties and bars and telling them I was a librarian. Got some interesting reactions.
Wasn't the Jack Nicholson character in As Good As It Gets a romance novelist?
Tessa - you found us just in time. Anna Campbell will be here Tuesday and you two can dish on how it feels to sell that first book. *g*
Was Nicholson's character a romance writer in that movie? I've actually never watched it. I know, I need to sit down and watch more movies. LOL!
Happy to see you on the ship and hope you'll come back again.
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