Ready or Not Here I Go…

I am about to embark on one of the scariest journeys of my life. For the first time I’m going to write an original story of my own. I’m not breaking into the writing world like most traditional writers. My writing experience started in the world of Janet Evanovich fan fiction. *gasp* Yes I am aware of the stigma that surrounds the idea of a writer taking another author‘s characters and creating their own stories. I could argue that Janet Evanovich gives her permission for writers to create fan fiction using her characters. At one point in time, she even had a fan fiction section on her website. That doesn’t stop some critics from believing that fan fiction is a rip off of a published author’s work. But we’ll leave that subject for another day.

Fan fiction has had a tremendous impact on my life from a personal as well as a writer’s perspective. If I had not discovered fan fiction a little over three years ago, I wouldn’t be a writer. I also would not have found some of the best friends I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. (Sin)

When I discovered fan fiction, I consumed story after story trying to feed the obsession I felt for Janet Evanovich’s characters. As you all know I fell in love with her bad boy character named Ranger. For those of you not familiar with Ranger he has enough sex appeal to charm a nun out of her habit. He emanates from the page, and never strays far from your mind once the book is closed. Ranger is the main reason I am a writer. He fueled a desire in me to write a story where he gets the girl in the end, something that I seriously doubt will happen when Evanovich writes the last book in the series. Over 200,000 words later, I’ve given Ranger the girl several times over. I’ve also sexed him up with the girl, had him walk away from the girl, had him shot, had the girl walk away from him and had him die with the girl in a plane crash. In the process I learned how to write, and I gained the confidence to write something to call my own.

Those are the positive points of using fan fiction to break into the writing world, but now I’m struggling on a daily basis from the negatives. Fan fiction has always provided me with some of the most difficult things a writer has to create. I have to create my own canvas now. It’s all about me creating a story from the ground up. I admit in the last several weeks I have been cursing fan fiction, because no longer do I have Ranger as my crutch. I know Ranger inside and out. I know where he lives. I know of his habits, his occupation, and his flaws. I have been told no one gets inside Ranger’s head the way I do. Well good for me right? Now I have to create my own hero and hope I don’t fall flat on my face in the process. For me attempting to write an original story is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute. I’m experiencing the fear of the unknown.

Fortunately, my desire to create my own story out weighs my fear. At least now when I sit down at the computer and attempt to write about my characters I don’t feel faint, or like running from the room, screaming like a little girl.

This brings us to the present, where I’m preparing to embark on my journey. I’ll describe the scene in detail.

The news helicopters are circling above me. The co- pilot is shouting the details of the scene before him in his headset for the story at 11. He reports that another fan fiction writer has decided to take “The Plunge”

So I’m standing on a ledge fifty stories above the city looking down. I can barely see the outline of the net, beyond the black moment, where I will find my HEA. If I close my eyes, I can visualize my computer key board, while character descriptions, plot devices, and the dreaded beginning are dancing through my mind. Ranger is sitting next to me on the ledge whispering “Proud of you Babe.” I look at him; wipe a tear from my eye and whisper, “Thanks for everything.” Then I smile and step into thin air.

Was it intimadating for you to start a WIP? What are your biggest fears now as a writer? How do you over come those fears?

A New Start

As you've undoubtedly read on every blog between here and the moon, it's the beginning of January (in case you were calendar-less) and it's time to start anew. Polish off old resolutions or implement new anti-resolutions--whatever. Resolve to do something. Start it. Take action.

Incidentally, I decided to get cracking more seriously about my new WIP, the "paranormal lite" contemporary where Adam & Eve, upon failing marriage counseling, find new spouses. With the Boatswain, I hammered out a relatively credible "plot" (I have to put it in quotations because it scares me so much. Much like "bogeyman") and she asked questions and by God, I was actually able to answer the questions. I had conflict. I had motivation. I had characters and goals. I had secondary characters who were funny. This has the makings of a funny book. I was excited on Friday with my strides I had made. After all, I had "finished" GOGU back in June--and it's been so long since I've written anything really good. Now I had a list. I had an outline, some structure, some direction. I had a plan, Stan.

Then Saturday, the Quartermaster and I met, had a very productive writing meeting with only about half the tangents of usual and only one bowl of cheese, and I skipped home with a new book about Las Vegas and a new lease on life...er, my WIP.

Then I had to open Word and actually start writing. Now the problem is I'd already written about 4 or 5 chapters. I had liked them at the time, but now I can see this is not the beginning I need. I need something else. So technically what I should probably do is scrap it and just start again. 20,000 words--plip, gone.

Strangely, I've forgotten how much I hate writing beginnings. It's been so long since I've written one. I love new ideas and playing with new ideas, but actually sitting down and committing them to paper and trying to make them sound as brilliant as they do in my head: I hate it.

So I got to thinking about it. I also hate writing the middle of the book. Getting from point A to point Z is a problem and I have to think of some very clever points of B-Y in order to keep my readers reading. It's exhausting. I'm just not that engaging. Besides, this is why I wrote my plot--so I wouldn't have to spend so much time figuring out these points. They'd write themselves. I just don't know when they're going to write themselves.

And then, I realized I also hate writing the ending. Winding up all my strings, tying them into a neat bow, leaving my readers satisfied--I mean I've only managed to write THE END for two WIPs and one had to be scrapped entirely; and the other, well, I'm still editing that mess. Apparently I'm shit with endings too. But I remembered how I hate writing the ending to stuff, because it's not been all that long since I wrote the ending to the WIP, but being I had written the beginning two years ago, I'd forgotten how painful it was.

Now I'm back at the beginning and I'm realizing just because I've finished two WIPs, it doesn't mean it's any easier to write the beginning or the middle or the end. I mean, does it truly get any easier to give birth to a squalling infant just because you've done it a couple times now? I would imagine not. It might not *take* as long to accomplish the same ends, but you can't tell me it didn't hurt any less.

So if you find you're in the beginning stages of labor and that it's painful, I have to tell you it doesn't get any easier. You might get a knack for it, sort of like the woman who has 12 kids, but it's still going to be painful and you're still going to have to clean it up and polish it when it arrives. You might even get accomplished *grins* at creating the little buggers, but it's still going to take nine months and it's still going to be some painful labor involved in the end. But on the upside, like childbirth, there's nothing to do (once you're committed) but to press on and deliver. It'll be worthwhile in the end...in 18 years or so.

Okay, so all you people who've given birth, am I right or wrong? Does it get easier--or do you not dread it so much simply because you know what's coming and you've dealt with it before? Do you like writing--or do you like having written? Do you like writing beginnings or middles or ends?