Yo Ho, A Writer's Life For Me

We've Sailed!

2008-04-01T00:00:00.000-05:00

Come find us aboard our brand new spanking ship, drinking rum and dodging the Coast Guard.

Yo Ho, Remembering We Shall Go...

2008-03-31T00:00:00.001-05:00

If you stopped by yesterday, then you're probably still trying to scrub a particular image out of your head. But, in addition to that, you also know we'll be moving to our new ship tomorrow. It seems like only yesterday when the Captain pulled into port, standing atop the rigging, hair blowing in the wind, rum bottle in her hand, and ahoyed us crew members to come aboard the beautiful new (yet slightly used) ship she'd just commandeered.

We didn’t ask her where she commandeered it from as we didn't want to be accessories. And if you've hung out here for any period of time, you also know it's best never to question the Captain in anything. She really does hate it when you argue. Trust me, I know.

So, today is a day to remember the fantastic voyages we've taken aboard these decks, and to toast the adventures yet to come. This is where I would insert some snippets, excerpts and jokes from the brilliants blogs we've posted since October. However, the finishing touches on the new ship require tools from the old ship and work is being done as I type this (late Sunday night after driving ALL day – insert pity "pat on back" here).

Anywho, since I can't stroll through the posts or remember a damn thing, I'm going to ask you. What were some of your favorite topics covered here at Yo Ho, A Writer's Life For Me? And if that's too difficult (or lazy of me) then tell us what we haven't covered that you're just dying to talk about. Got any parody ideas for the Captain? Wanna start a petition for some of Sin or Lisa's smut? Want Marnee to post her chicken salad recipe or insist I start taking Gingko Biloba already?

Today, you have the floor….err…..deck!

Hottie Crew Member of the Week - And BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

2008-03-29T00:00:00.001-05:00

In my capacity as HR (Hottie Requisition) director for this ship, I see lots of applicants. Trust me when I say, I'm thorough in my duties. Only the bigges….ahem…I mean best make this crew. But every once in a while, a special candidate crosses my casting couch. One that cannot be denied and I must find a place for him.

When the Media Room was unwisely built at the opposite end of the ship from the galley, I saw the need for an errand boy of sorts. Someone we could send off to bring us whatever it is we need from the pantry and allow us to remain in our luxurious hammocks, sprawled in our sexiest yet natural poses. This is where Guido fit perfectly.

Speaking of fit, it was not easy to find just the right uniform for this boy. But I think what we threw together works for him. The color brings out his eyes, don't you think? What do you mean you haven't noticed his eyes?!

INSERT BIG ANNOUNCEMENT HERE!!!
The new ship is now complete and ready to be launched. So we've set the Christening Ceremony for the new and improved Romance Writer's Revenge for this Tuesday, April 1st. NO FOOLING! I'll still have one more blog here tomorrow so we can remember, reminisce and reflect, but then it's off to our new decks. Join me here tomorrow and then bring your best rum, wear your best peg-leg, and come prepared to party like a Pirate on Tuesday!!!!

PS: Yes, that is Justin Timberlake in the upcoming The Love Guru movie. You have to check out the trailer just to see him in this get up. Seriously, it's hysterical! And if this image disturbs you, blame the Captain. This was her idea.

The Power of Praise

2008-03-28T05:00:00.002-05:00

From an early age I was taught to show respect, and gratitude to others. I learned to treat others as I wanted to be treated. As a reader I can’t help but feel gratitude toward some of my favorite authors. They inspire me and provide me with hours of gratified reading. I call my favorite authors the Dream Team. I make a point to buy their books as soon as they are released, and if I haven’t met them, I’ve sent them an email expressing my appreciation for their work. It doesn’t disappointment me if I never receive a response, as long as I am able to express my awe at their talent, I feel fulfilled.

I believe that no matter how successful you become, you always benefit from praise.

The praise I have received in the past is what drives me to become something more. In my writing life, praise is what fuels my confidence. The first time I posted a chapter of fan fiction no one left me a review. I took it as an indication that it was bad, and in hindsight I know it lacked grammatical skill. I’ve received good and bad reviews, and some of the better ones I can still recite. What made me believe in myself as a writer was a review left by one of my fellow pirates. I admire everything that she writes, and in praising me, she gave me what I craved the most-validation. It’s wonderful to receive praise from family and friends, but when a fellow writer gives you kudos it means something. It gives you the confidence to persevere.

In times when my confidence is at a low point I pick up a book by a favorite author and find inspiration within the pages. All authors have a launching point. Every writer’s success begins with a story. I may not have the talent of the authors on my Dream Team, but I have the same opportunities. With hard work and determination I can accomplish my dreams. Although a writer benefits from praise from a peer, their sustaining confidence comes from within. It’s the kind of confidence that kicks in at 2AM when you’re all alone and struggling to find the right words.

“Can’t never does anything.”

I’ve heard that phrase all my life, and it holds much truth. In our writing lives, can’t should be erased from our vocabulary. Yesterday, Marnee blogged about writing historical romance. I’ve often said I don’t have the voice to write a historical romance. In hindsight I should say I could if I had the desire. It’s a common occurrence to avoid things that are the most difficult to attempt. As writers we know our strengths and weaknesses. We obviously choose to write the type of romance we feel we express well. I often forget that some of the best stories I’ve written I considered out of my comfort zone. Once again the key to expression is confidence.

If we believe we achieve.

What fuels your confidence? Do you believe praise is an important component to a writer’s determination, or do you believe confidence is more effective when it comes from within? Do you ever voice praise to your favorite authors?

Passing the Historical Test

2008-03-27T05:30:00.003-05:00

I’m the only historical writing pirate on this boat, so I thought perhaps it was time I stop shirking my duties and start representing (er, representin’?) with some historical appropriate bloggage. One of our lovely wenches, Kelly Krysten, blogged on her personal blog this week about historical historicals and how much accuracy is really necessary for a historical to pass the “historical” test. That got me thinking about why there has to be a historical test in the first place.

*Gunner Marnee clears her throat and attempts to look sheepish*. So far, despite the fact that I am writing a Regency novel and I have done some research, I haven’t been killing myself with research or gotten myself all twisted up over it.

*The Captain sashays to her feet, searching for an empty rum bottle to throw at her gunner. Finding all of the bottles still have some rum left in them, she settles for placing her hands on her hips and scowling fiercely*. Not stressing about research?! What sort of half-ass approach to writing are you pulling around here?

*Her gunner gives a cheeky grin*. I’m a PIRATE. I’m relying on wit and sass.

*The crew grumbles a bit, but can’t find any fault to GM’s logic. They fall silent as the gunner continues.*

Personally, I think it’s more important right now to focus on just spitting my story out. I assume that I’ll start pulling it apart for historical inaccuracies later. But in first draft, I am just focusing on writing my characters and plot. I’ll deal with the colors of petticoats, fabric types for nightgowns, and all that other craziness later.

To continue my historical writing confessions, I have to say that my heroine and hero tend more towards the post-modern than what would have been appropriate back then. I know we’ve chatted before about historical heroines feeling too contemporary, as if they spent a healthy amount of time burning their bras and reading Gloria Steinem or Betty Friedan. That bothers

some, but to be perfectly honest, I prefer it.

*The Captain does grab the nearest rum bottle now, without regard to the inch of liquid still left in it. The Boatswain hurries forward to pacify her in her ire but more likely attempting to save the booze. Sin and Lissa watch the proceedings as if such occurrences happen aboard the RWR all the time. (They do, you say?) Gunner scurries behind a nearby cannon, ducking before she continues.*

In fact, the things I love about novels set in the historical settings are things that have primarily been made up by romance authors. They are the lovely character types historical novel readers have grown to love. But, the reformed rake, the bluestocking who finds someone to love her for her mind, and the governess who gets the lord all feel like the stuff of fantasy. From what I know of history, these sorts of things didn’t happen in reality. At least they didn’t happen often.

The women and men of those time periods would have made the women I know get out their “slap some sense into these people” sticks. I did a report in grad school about medical care (or lack thereof) for women and it made my feminist sensibilities howl in protest. Feisty women who attempted to rebel could easily find their ways into insane asylums. Women were not permitted their own property. Nothing about that is romantic to me.

My heroine’s a witch and she has magical powers. She hardly seems the sort to let anyone push her around.

With all of this said, you might be wondering why I bother writing in a historical setting at all.

For one, I like the tension inherent in male/female relationships back then. If people were caught in compromising situations, they had to get married. Unmarried sex was more risky without the advances we have today in birth control. In contemporary novels, the stakes don’t feel as high to me and the situations don’t feel as dire.

I also like that I’ll never REALLY know what it was like back then. It lets me make parts of it up, though admittedly not all. In order to give historical romances their historical flare I admit that there needs to be enough accuracy to convince the reader that it could have happened. But, I’m not convinced it has to be completely authentic. Leave out the excrement floating in the streets, please.

But, because my characters are destined to have a contemporary feel (as I would argue most historical heroes and heroines do in recent historicals because of authorial bias), I approach my writing more as if I’m writing fantasy and that historical detail needs only to give it authenticity.

In the end, I hope my characters keep my readers reading and that said readers don’t even

notice they are missing out on all the historic details.

What do you think about historical details in novels? Do you think they should be as authentic as possible or are the post-modern historicals ok by you? If you write historical, why and why not some other genre? If you don’t write historical, how comes why not?

P.S. I was looking for test images and this is the best I could do. Don't be a hater.

All by Myself

2008-03-26T00:00:00.002-05:00

*singing*

I can hear y’all groaning! Yeesh, whining pirates. I’ll stop now.

Sometimes I don’t know what to talk about. I know you readers have a hard time believing that based off the tangents I start in comments. But it’s true. I may be able to tangent like nobody’s business, but when it comes to a topic, forgetaboutit. *in my whiny redneck voice*

So, when I was running on the treadmill, listening to my best friend prattle on and on about her latest disaster, I realized there are some things that are just a solo project. Much like writing.

To me, writing is a pure solo sport. You can argue that it takes love and support from your friends and family to get through the rough times; but really it’s you—yourself-- who puts the words down on paper. During crisis times, you are the only one who can take the words running in jumbles and make them flow like water on a page. You’re the only one who knows the plot. Storyline. Characters. Ending… You know all of this by heart.

When times are tough you rely on yourself to pull through. To keep going. To put one finger in front of the other and snap out of it. You stay up late. You debate with your gut instinct to slash and start over. You rewrite scenes until dawn. You run over line of dialogue in front of the mirror. (And if you’re me, you literally take it outside and run over it, while screaming at the top of your lungs.) No matter how much you talk about it to someone else, they will never get it. They don’t see the story as you do. Until it’s on paper, something tangible for them to see and hold, they don’t see it unfolding as you do.

Believing in yourself is a number one priority for a writer. Because if you don’t believe in yourself, who will? Your ability to convey emotion. Your talent to make the written word come to life in front of your reader’s eyes is all on you. No one else can make you do that. It comes from deep within. And if the belief isn’t there, your words will never flow quite right. The imagery will be stilted. The dialogue stiff. The storyline dull.

Your story relies on you to tell it. You believing in your abilities makes that happen. You could have thousands of people believing in you and still not believe in yourself.

Fate plays a part in this. If you are destined for something, whether you believe or not, it happens. It’s up to you to make it a positive or negative thing. Writing is all about being positive. You’re writing for a reason. A purpose. Whether it be for yourself or to tell a story. Or for the readers you’ll eventually have. Everything has a purpose. And I think I’m just now starting to realize this.

I don’t believe in myself. It’s just my number one rule. If I become complacent with my abilities, I slack off. So for that, I tell myself I suck at it all and work twice as hard. I’ve done it all my life. And with writing, it’s no different. I always challenge myself to go one extra step more. Write another thousand words before bed. Take a scene just one step wilder. Nothing is good enough and I have to strive to do better. But eventually I’ll have to believe in myself. Eventually I’ll have to let go, not to become complacent, but to accept what may come. Whether that be publishing or be just writing for enjoyment of the moment. Writing to me is like letting my soul fly. It gives me a chance to be calm, quiet, myself. And there is nothing more rewarding than that.

At the moment, that is.

So what is the one thing you could change about your writing self? What is the one thing you consider to be your excelling point? Writing, plotting, procrastinating, dialogue. And how much stock do you put into your own abilities?

And thanks for Eileen Cook for boarding the ship yesterday and giving that wonderful interview! If you didn't have a chance to stop by yesterday and give it a read, I HIGHLY suggest it!

Ahoy, Avast: Eileen Cook Boards the RWR!

2008-03-25T00:00:00.001-05:00

Pirates and 'Lubbers, it is my very pleasure to introduce you to Eileen Cook, author of: Unpredictable. Please sail to your nearest Amazon and purchase this witty, fun story about...well...me. At least, it felt like she was writing about me. If I had an ex-boyfriend and I was stealing half of all his socks, that is, and I met this adorable, helpful Scottish professor who...

Well, you'll just have to read it. In the meantime, as you're waiting for Amazon to process your order, do read this interview. You don't want to miss this book...or this author:

Hellion: I adore your writing voice. I was immediately pulled into the story by the voice of your heroine. Does writing humor come naturally to you, or has it taken a while for your writing voice to sound as natural as it does (i.e. how many manuscripts are hidden under your bed right now)? What techniques would you recommend for honing your humorous voice?

Eileen: I adore you for saying you adore me! Love fest! I come from a funny family - and I do mean that in both the "ha ha" type of way as well as the "peculiar" kind of way. Humor is something that I've always defaulted to, it's perfect for hiding insecurities- no one notices that you're freaking out if they are laughing. The first draft of Unpredictable was a mystery. A really bad mystery. I noticed a few of my early readers wrote in the margin "well- the funny parts are good." It was then I decided to give up fighting it and write a funny book, before that I kept trying to put on other voices that weren't mine. I love to read and I read all kinds of things. I wanted to write like many of the writers I admired instead of admitting that I wrote best when I wrote like myself.

I have two full length manuscripts that should never see the light of day and many more that are partials of various ideas that sounded GREAT in the planning stage- but didn't pan out nearly so well in the execution. Part of the secret is not seeing these as failures- but part of the journey to finding your own way.

Hellion: Do you write organically or are you more a plotter? How did you keep the pacing so tight?

Eileen: I have huge plotter envy. I want to be a plotter- I buy all kinds of office supplies (ooh binders! color tabs! index cards in rainbow colors!!!) with the idea of being a very organized writer. Tragically, this never works for me, on the upside if there is ever a world wide stationary shortage I am completely prepared. When I write I start out with a premise, a main character, and a general idea of how I want the book to end. Once I have those things I dive in and start writing. The benefit of writing organically is that I enjoy having the story surprise me, on the the downside I spend a lot of time looking at the computer monitor thinking "how the heck did I get myself into this situation?"

Hellion: I swear we were separated at birth. Except all my office supplies have pictures of Jack Sparrow on them. I like to multi-task my obsessions. And coincidentally, my organization skills go awry. I'm sorry, I interrupted...writing systems...you were saying....

Eileen: *grins understandingly* One thing I've enjoyed on this path to publication is meeting other writers. Every writer has their own system. The one that really struck me was John Irving who likes to write his books backwards starting with the last chapter. This would completely screw me up. I'm much more linear. The fact that everyone does it differently be frustrating for people who want to know "how to do it" so they can copy your system, but in the end the good news is that there is no right way- just the right way for you as the writer.

Hellion: Sin and Lisa will be so thrilled to hear you say that. Of course, they've been skipping around the ship for days saying, "I told you so" to our Boatswain. They swear they have their own system, but even they don't know what it is most of the time. *consults her list of questions again* Did you intentionally leave out Sagittarius from all the horoscopes? And if so, why did you? (Are you a Sagittarius?)

Eileen: This is a funny story. (or maybe it is one of those things that seems funny only to me) In the manuscript all the signs were present- including Sagittarius. Somewhere in the publishing process the Sags were dropped. I didn't notice it, the editor didn't notice it even the copy editor didn't notice it. Once it went to the printer the very first person who read an advance copy called me to point out there was no Sagittarius. She was a Sag. I've now heard from about half a dozen people about the error. They're all Sags. I believe there is a rumor that I am a Sag hater. This is not true- who wouldn't like people born under the sign of the archer?

Hellion: I'm not a Sag. I'm just a Pisces...but I did wonder if was on purpose. *LOL* Or if you were a Sag. Incidentally I'd like to be a sign attributed with archers rather than fish. But that's neither here nor there.

Terri: Yet you're still talking about it as if it were.

Hellion: *ignoring Terr, makes a check on her question list* Are you more a skeptic or a believer?

Eileen: My believer/skeptic status depends on what we're discussing! (How's that for a dodgy answer?) In terms of psychics- I love the idea of it being true, but I haven't seen anything that has convinced me personally. Sometimes I think people are seeking out something magical and other-worldly and miss the real magic in our lives- the feeling of being in love, the taste of good chocolate, and finding a killer pair of shoes- in your size- on sale.

Hellion: Oh, I so understand that! I found the cutest pair of Candies' shoes at Kohl's last month. Adorable! *holds out her foot and shows off the three-inch heeled shoes* On sale...and right next to the gym shoes (on sale) I needed. It was like fate. *refocusing with some difficulty, crossing legs and smiling* What are you working on now? When will it be available?

Eileen: I am working on a young adult novel currently called What Would Alice Do? that will be out in January 2009. We may change the title as the publisher has a few other titles with Alice in them (and here I thought I was so clever.) This story is a retelling of the Crucible set in a modern Christian high school in Indiana. I've had a ton of fun writing YA as it allows me to tap into my high school traumas. I have material to spare. I refuse however to attach any photos of my high school self as clearly I had some channeling Molly Ringwald issues going on. I remember thinking I looked GREAT- but photographic evidence seems to imply otherwise.

Hellion: (I love the What Would Alice Do? title--that's funny! Ah, puns; it's like crack to English majors. Can't resist them. Not for love or money.) What is your favorite thing about the new book you're working on? (Why will we fall in love with it?)

Eileen: I believe it's another funny book (at least I cracked myself up). The main character, Alice, has to question what she will give up to be the kind of person that she wants to be. I love characters who are struggling with morally ambiguous situations. I'm a nice person in real life, but in fiction I really enjoy turning up the heat under other people. I'm in the editing process now and my editor at Simon Schuster has been amazing to work with- it's made me fall in love with the story all over again. I can't wait to see it in print.

Hellion: Are you doing any local signings? (Clearly you just came off a trip to my "neck of the woods"—well, within 8 hours at any rate…so how about: ) Will you be at RWA conference this year?

Eileen: I did a tour through the mid-west (Michigan, Indiana and Illinois) as that is where I grew up and had enough family that I was reasonably assured enough people would turn up so that I wouldn't look like a loser. I have a few more things planned for here in my local area and down into Seattle. I'm speaking at the RWA conference in New England in April- and I wouldn't miss this year's RWA in San Fran. Let's all get together!

Hellion: Eileen's buying the first round of rum! *crew cheers* What single most important piece of writing advice would you pass on to us struggling pirates?

Eileen: I believe it is important to enjoy the process of writing, of spinning stories. I don't mean that there aren't bad days- but that overall you should like to write. When I talk to people who describe writing as if every word causes them to bleed I think they should take up something else- knitting for example. There are so many ups and downs in this business- that if you don't like the writing I have no idea why someone would continue. At least if you knit you end up with sweater. No one sends a rejection letter if you mail them a sweater. " Dear Knitter- Thanks for your sweater submission. Unfortunately it doesn't meet our needs at this time....." A writer friend told me "writing is a craft, publishing is a casino." You have control over the writing- how much you do, how you improve, the stories you write. Focus on that- because if you try and figure out publishing you'll go wacky. The business is subjective and random at times. If you keep the focus on what you can control it makes for a happier person.

Hellion: *laughing* I'm an even worse knitter than I am a writer, and I do enjoy writing more than knitting, all criticism aside. I guess I picked the right hobby. How did you get published? (Were you a literal overnight success, or were you more the 10-year overnight success? What steps did you take? Which would you recommend; what things did you do that you wish you could go back in time and erase again? Other than good grammar—since for all appearances, it doesn't seem like I have it.)

Eileen: I know it isn't mature, but people who tell overnight success stories make me stick my tongue out at them when they turn their back. I have written for years. My parents have a story I did in second grade which I titled "George the Sighkyatrist" - spelling wasn't my thing. The teacher wrote at the bottom "I'm sure some day you'll be an author." Little did I know how much rejection would come between that story and hearing the news Unpredictable had sold. When I wrote my first novel I thought it was BRILLIANT. Alas- I was the only one. I then wrote another book, but by this time I knew enough to know it wasn't as great as it needed to be. Unpredictable was my third full length manuscript. My agent (the divine Rachel Vater at Folio Literary Management) was my top choice agent and the first one I queried. When she signed me I thought I had it made- but it took more time to find a home for Unpredictable.

When I first started writing I told myself I would be happy if I could just finish a full length novel. Then I said I would be happy if I could get an agent. Then I decided if I had a book deal I would be happy. Then I was sure having film rights optioned would do it. Now I'm on to obsessing about sales numbers and the second book. What I would advise people starting out is that publication is a journey not a destination. The people I've met that are huge New York Time's best sellers still worry about the next book or sales. You can compare yourself to other writers (even those overnight people who sign huge "significant deals" and have Oprah on speed dial), but it will only drive you crazy. I try and focus on improving myself and hope the rest of it will fall into place.

Hellion: My yoga teacher would adore you. She tells me this every week--and she doesn't even know I write. (I swear yoga is in everything!) *pushes Sin off balance, who's assumed a downward facing dog position, showing off* Oh, that felt good. A couple more questions...What authors have inspired your work? (I'm going to guess Jennifer Cruisie, but that's just me. *grins, pointing at Jennifer Cruisie quote on front cover of Unpredictable*)

Eileen: Why how did you guess Jennifer Crusie? She impresses me with how well crafted her work is and how supportive she is of new writers. I am a huge reader and love everything from non fiction to mystery to chick lit to historicals. There is the very real chance that I will die crushed by a stack of books. I can think of worse ways to go. It's hard to narrow the list of who inspired me, but certainly I've enjoyed Emily Giffin, Sophie Kinsella, John Irving, Jen Lancaster and a few zillion more.

Hellion: Last question--and the most important: Does Nick McKenna exist? If so, can you give him my phone number?

Eileen: Nick is composed of a couple different people and my very active imagination. Alas both of the real people are married- one of them to me- and I have a strict no sharing rule. : )

Hellion: What a surprise! I finally find a guy worth pursuing and he's taken! Oh, well, I guess it's still sock-stealing and obsessing for me. I should stick with my strengths at any rate. Thank you, Eileen, for interviewing with us today. You have been a wonderful--and now I'm going to turn it over to the crew for their questions and comments...

How many of you read your horoscope? (How often have you noticed it's come true? I think in all my years it's come true once, but it was a horoscope I read the day after the event. I doubt that counts.) Has anybody else read Unpredictable? What's the craziest thing you've ever done to win a guy back--and did it work?

He Said, She Said

2008-03-24T06:00:00.001-05:00

There are some real disadvantages to living on a pirate ship. Other than that sex in a swinging hammock thing not being all that easy, I'd say the lack of electrical outlets is the biggest hassle. Since we can read and write by candlelight, it's not the end of the world. But listening to audio devices gets a little complicated.

That's why when I take my little road trips away from the ship, I almost always listen to an audiobook. And this weekend was no different. I've listened to three audiobooks so far this year and I have the same problem with all of them. The way the person reads the story is not the same way I would read it. It throws me off and, I believe, ruins the experience of the book for me.

It comes down to inflection. By putting the emphasis on the wrong word, the narrator can change the meaning of the entire sentence. Something that should have been a demand may come across as pleading. Sarcasm can be lost completely and we won't even go into the timing required for comedy.

Since I'm the example queen, I'm going to give an example. I know, big shocker. Anyway, lets choose something simple. I'm going to type out one line of dialog and bold the words I want emphasized. Now, obviously, it's hard to do this stuff out of context but since we're talking about reading this line aloud, I think this can work.

"If I wanted her, I'd have her."

With the emphasis on "wanted" and "have", this is a bold statement most likely of challenge. You can see the character saying it with eyes narrowed and jaw clenched. But what if I change it just a bit?

"If I wanted her, I'd have her."

This is much more insulting than challenging and meant to put the other character in his/her place. The speaking character is trying to make a point, defend himself or getting tired of arguing. Maybe by now you've figured out the dilemma.

We can't go through out books making bold all the words we want emphasized. This is where action tags play a key roll. Action tags are often thought of as throw away bits. Just two or three words to make sure the reader knows who is speaking. But they can do so much more.

"If I wanted her, I'd have her," he growled, never blinking.

Or

"If I wanted her, I'd have her," he roared, throwing his hands in the air.

Now there is no mistaking how I want these lines to be interpreted. Even the simple change of the word "growled" to "roared" can change the context and meaning.

As you write, do you use action tags to their full advantage? Do you ever wonder if what the reader hears in her mind is what you intended with your words? Do you think I'm totally full of crap and have figured out that I had no idea what to write about today? And have you ever listened to an audiobook and wished you'd read it instead?

Have You Seen My Basket? - Hottie & Holiday

2008-03-22T22:11:00.003-05:00

I've been trying to figure out how to approach today. I mean, for many, it's a holiday. But, for many, it's not. Since I think political correctness is destroying humankind, I eventually said f*&k it and decided to just say HAPPY EASTER, EVERYONE!!!

In the true spirit of the holiday, I've posted some fun images to bring a smile to your face, perhaps a much needed chuckle if you've been with the family all day, and since it's still a Sunday, a little hotness.

I see this one to the left every year and it never fails to crack me up. No idea why. But you know you're going to see this and then look at the chocolate bunny sitting on your countertop just a little bit differently.

I included this one on the right because I just knew this is the bunny we would have on this ship. This is one piece of tail that knows how to party. Which pretty much makes him the sixth piece of tail on this crew. *g*

And because I've driven about 17 hours in less than two days and I'm about to head off to dream land, I decided this is what I want to find waiting for me. Think I'm asking for too much?

No matter what you're doing or celebrating today, have a good one, don't eat too many of those nasty Cadberry Eggs, and for the love of Pete, don't make any more of those naughty pictures with the poor Peeps!

Contest Winners from Pamela Clare's blog on Wednesday!!

2008-03-22T00:10:00.003-05:00

I love presents!!

I love to give them away even more (even if they are from someone else and in this case, I'm honored to do it for Pamela Clare!)

Now, without futher ado, I give to you the contest winners. May I have the envelope please?

*Pirate Wenches roll their eyes at the sight of Sin playing make believe again*

"There she goes again," Hellion said. "I tried to have her committed. But even they said they couldn't do anything for her."

Lisa, Marnee, and Ter all shook their head sadly.

Hellion sighed and sauntered over to Sin, flicking her red hair behind her shoulder before handing her a pretend envelope.

Sin cleared her throat as she cracked open the golden seal of the pirates. "And the winners are..."

T-Lee from Australia *crowd going wild*
Stef from France *men begging for a phone number*
Janga *English Lords falling all over themselves*
and last but not least, Kelly Krysten *RWR crew members drooling all over her*

I knew those RWR crew members were NOT to be trusted! Men! Ha!

Congrats!!! You've won an awesome prize! Pamela Clare will be sending you one of her wonderful books in the mail! Please send your snail mail address to me at magnificentsin @aol.com (without the space, if you would).

Thanks so much for making Wednesday an awesome day with Pamela Clare!

The Magic of Attraction

2008-03-21T05:00:00.001-05:00

Romance starts with the spark of attraction, it doesn’t necessarily have to be physical, but in most situations, physical chemistry pulls two individuals together. Lust can be the first connection between lovers, but other attributes cause a lasting bond between individuals. Some of the strongest relationships I’ve witnessed between two individuals had nothing to do with physical appearance, but everything to do with internal connection.

As writers, we develop heroes and heroines, and most of the time they are attractive, desirable individuals. We surround them with a major conflict that continually drives them further apart, but we weave enough physical and emotional attraction onto the equation to keep the heat turned up, and the lust turned on.

Have you ever read a book or watched a movie in which the attraction between the hero and heroine just didn’t work?

I read an article on Yahoo naming the most mismatched movie couples of all time. I had to give the number one choice a definite thumbs up. It was Nick Nolte and Julia Roberts in I Love Trouble. Personally, Nick Nolte has never been on my top ten list of the sexiest actors alive. He is a great actor, but I saw this movie and I have to agree, the pairing between him and Julia just didn’t work. The love scenes between them were awkward at best. Another honorable mention was Harrison Ford and Anne Heche in Six Days, Seven Nights. I admit I didn’t see the movie, but at the time, Anne was dating Ellen Degeneres. It’s hard to believe Anne was into Harrison with Ellen waiting at home every night. Even with the best acting skills in the world, it’s a daunting task to fake physical chemistry.

Most of the books I’ve read over the years had very well written heroes and heroines that were perfect matches. Have you ever stopped reading a book because you just couldn’t picture the hero and heroine together in your mind? *cue Hellion Scandal in Spring rant*

I know everyone tires of my examples of the Stephanie Plum series, but Joe and Stephanie come to mind. They have physical attraction going for them and on a certain level, they love one another, but Ranger is the elephant in the middle of the room. He’s always going to be in the picture, and even if he doesn’t appear to be relationship material, I think he’s the rabbit in the hat. It makes sense to end the series with Ranger and Stephanie together. It’s not predictable, and it brings the series full circle in my opinion.

Just as Janet created Ranger and Stephanie to compliment one another we strive to do the same. It’s pertinent to show a sizzling physical attraction between two characters, but the difficult part is weaving in subtle likenesses that the couple share. It can be anything from a love of sports, to the thrill of chasing a cold-blooded killer. The initial attraction brings them together, but emotional ties have to be established in order to make them a believable match.

This week I read Sugar Daddy by Lisa Kleypas. In the beginning of this novel Liberty Jones meets Hardy Cates when they are teenagers. They came from the wrong side of the tracks, and Lisa paints a heartfelt attraction between them. Her description of Liberty’s anguish when Hardy leaves town for greener pastures is heart wrenching. At this point in the book I believe Hardy will be brought back for the HEA. After an unexpected second black moment Liberty leaves town too. Enter stage left an older man, which I thought was the focus of the book. The title Sugar Daddy conjures the image of an older rich man seeking a younger woman for companionship. I was disenchanted to say the least, I was in love with Hardy and pulling strong for a reunion. Then along comes Sugar Daddy’s son, Gage. He seemed attractive but pompous. I thought, she’ll never make me believe they belong together. Liberty starts a relationship with Gage, Lisa weaves magic with words like the master she is, and by the time Hardy shows up, I’m thinking Hardy who?

Not since Plum have I read a book that the characters made such an impact on me. I’m counting the days until the release of Blue Eyed Devil, which is the story of Hardy Cates, and includes some of the same characters from Sugar Daddy. Lisa Kleypas usually manages to enthrall me every time, but this time she blew me away. I bought Sugar Daddy over three weeks ago, and glanced at it a million times in my TBR pile. I hesitated to read it, because I love Lisa’s historical writing voice. It wasn’t that I doubted she could write contemporary romance, I just wasn’t ready for that change in her voice. Oh, how wrong I was to wait, this book is a treasure.

This week in Pamela Clare’s blog, she touched on the subject of changing voices from writing historical to contemporary romance. I have always bowed at the feet of historical romance writers. The voice they maintain in their writing is beyond my ability, but to be able to change between voices and write both flawlessly is astounding to me. This week I read a book by a beloved author who bridged the transition flawlessly, and was an inspiration to me in the process.

Have you ever read a book that inspired you to be the best writer you can possibly be? I have, and in the process, I learned that I’m focusing too much on plot and not enough on characterization. You can’t lose with believable well-written characters. The key of the plot in a romance is conflict, followed with a beautifully executed resolution.

I have the characters, and plot, now I need to get motivated and execute it.

Do you believe the plot or the characters make a book memorable? Have you ever read a book or saw a movie in which the hero and heroine didn’t match? Have you read a book recently that inspired you to be a better writer?

A Desk of One's Own

2008-03-20T07:08:00.010-05:00

The blessings of a laptop are that I can move all over the house with my work of crap, er, art. I’ve written at the dining room table, on the floor in the family room, and on my bed. I’ve written lounging and sitting up straight. There was even a stretch of time in the fall, after having to drive my kid around in the car to take a nap (he had a stuffy nose and was very sad), that I sat in the car with my laptop, writing in my driveway. I didn’t want to move him because he needed his sleep and I needed some face time with my WIP.

Back before I started devoting vast amount of time to my novel, I had visions of myself writing at coffee shops, vanilla-mochachino-expresso-latte-partskim-partwhole with extra chocolate sauce and extra caramel sauce, whipped cream and sprinkles in hand, my librarian glasses on, paperwork strewn about, looking all the world like a serious writer.

A far cry from the vision of me sitting in the front seat of my Jetta, the seat back as far as I could get it to go without actually sitting in the backseat, the laptop screen pressed to the steering wheel, trying not to type too heavily so I didn’t wake the booger-covered, cranky baby passed out cold in his car seat, huh?

The reality has definitely proven to be way less glamorous than I’d expected. Nowhere in my writing fantasies was I holding a baby on one hip, the laptop propped on the kitchen counter while I typed with one hand, trying to write the paragraph that sounded SO perfect in my head before it was lost to eternity and replaced by verses of “The Wheels on the Bus.”

This weekend, I was thinking of setting up a desk to keep all my writing stuff organized (ha). I initially disregarded this idea because I figured it wouldn’t work out for me unless there was some sort of super amazing toy attached that would distract my super attention dysfunctional child long enough for me to sit at said desk and produce any actual writing.

But, after further thought, I realized that I wasn’t bitter about not having a desk or a “spot” to write. I doubt, even if I had one, that I would use it. I like to flit about, writing where the mood strikes me in the house. I think that’s why I like the idea of writing at a coffee shop. It’s a fresh, creative place.

What about you? What conditions do you write under? Do you like silence or chaos? Anyone have a desk and not use it? Anyone not have a desk and wish they had one? And finally, what conditions do you think would make you a better writer?

And, a special thanks to Pamela Clare for stopping by to play on the ship yesterday! If you missed the conversation, give it a read below. It's worth the 120 comments!

Pamela Clare on Romance, Writing, Her Next Release UNLAWFUL CONTACT, and Life in General.

2008-03-19T00:00:00.010-05:00

The day has finally come!! Get the rum and hot crew members ready! It’s time to welcome Pamela Clare to the ship!!

The Lost Chronicles of a Pamela Clare: Act One, Scene One: The Setup.

Sin sauntered across the deck and into the storage chest Hellion presumably kept the gold and extra rum. There was nothing but the old loud speaker and moth balls. She held it up to her lips, waiting for it to click on. A loud, piercing whine screeched through the silence of the ship. “Hello?” Sin looked down at the speaker and scratched her head. “Hello? Can anyone hear me?”

Hellion, with her fingers stuck in her ears, said with a huff, “Yes, wench! Hold it further away from your mouth.” She muttered to herself while Capt’n Jack tried to smooth her ruffled feathers.

Lisa snorted and elbowed Marnee and Ter. “I don’t know why she bothers to use the loud speaker. Everyone knows you can hear her from Tortuga to Australia.”

Sin narrowed her eyes at Lisa. “I heard that.” Bickering ensued through the crew and Sin decided to toss the loud speaker overboard before clearing her throat. “Everyone gather ‘round. Gather ‘round.” Whipping the notebook from her lower back in sheer pirate fashion, “I have the long lost chronicles of one fierce and brave pirate. One that I’ve long admired. I thought I’d share them with y’all.”

The wenches position themselves on the deck in various seductive poses. All of the crew members stopped what they were doing to take notice of the wenches and Sin had to clear her throat once again. “Hello! I swear! You guys have the attention span of gnats! I have the Chronicles of Pamela Clare in my hand and one would think that would earn some respect!”

A hush settles over the deck. Our faithful readers take a pause. “Pamela Clare.” They all said in awe. “THE Pamela Clare?”

Sin grinned. “Well yes. THE Pamela Clare. I told you that I found get my hands on it and here it is! Voila! I’ve even got a verbal agreement that she’s going to come by the ship and have a little chat!”

Loud tittering erupts on the deck of the Romance Writer’s Revenge. “Open it! Open it!” They shout. Sin takes a seat and begins to read from the lost chronicles of Pamela Clare!

The Lost Chronicles of Pamela Clare: Act One, Scene Two: The Interview!

Page 1: What’s a normal day like in the life of Pamela Clare?

P. Clare: Monday through Thursday, I get up anywhere between 4 and 5:30 a.m., write, take a shower, grab some breakfast and head to the newspaper, where I am editor-in-chief. I work all day. No two days are alike. And then I come home around 5-6-ish, make dinner for myself and my son. He’s a senior in high school; my older son is already in college. Then I do whatever I need to do. On bad days, it’s pay bills. On good days, it’s spend more time writing. On Fridays and on the weekends, every spare moment I have goes into writing.

I don’t date. I don’t have television. I don’t go to movies except on the rarest of occasions. (OK, I saw “Fellowship of the Ring” 16 times in the theater…) I rarely party. It’s mostly work, work, work. And that’s okay. When you have a dream, you work for it.

I decided years ago that I could either sit on my butt watching other people live fake lives on TV, or I could live my own life. I cancelled my cable and that was it.

Page 2: What ultimately got you writing your first novel, Sweet Release and eventually moved you into writing your I-Team series?

P. Clare: I love historicals. They’re my first love and that’s what I read. So I knew I wanted to write historical romance. I spent seven years writing Sweet Release as a newly divorced mom working full time with two little kids. Fun. I was thrilled when it sold. Then I wrote Carnal Gift and my personal favorite Ride the Fire. While I was in the midst of writing Carnal, I was talking to my agent about an investigation I was doing of a local cement plant and of the warning I’d gotten from a state official that my life/safety might be in danger. And my agent said, “Why don’t you write romantic suspense because you live it?” And I said, “Sure, all except the romantic part.” And from that conversation the I-Team series eventually came into being. (There’s a Facebook group that I created called The I-Team that includes some of my journalistic colleagues from the real I-Team.)

I had never read romantic suspense before so writing Extreme Exposure was an experiment. I think it went pretty well. J

Page 3: How has your day job, reporter, changed or helped your writing career?

P. Clare: It absolutely helped my writing career. I left academia (archaeology) to write as a journalist, because I knew I wanted to write novels. I thought journalism would give me practice writing. Well, it did more than that. It taught me discipline, and it connected me with a wealth of truly unique, bizarre, scary, incredible, exciting experiences that you just can’t get in a normal life. From interviewing rock stars to being flown around the world to really terrible stuff like seeing horrid acts of violence — it’s been priceless for filling my well as a writer. Grist for the mill, so to speak.

Here’s my bit of advice for this interview: If you want to write, you must experience life. If you don’t push yourself and experience as much as you can, you will have very little upon which to draw. I call it “living at full throttle.” Yep, sometimes you crash (I have done that literally), but sometimes there’s a transcendence to the experience that reveals to you something about the human condition that you never understood before. Those are moments of bliss for me.

Page 4: Tell us a little about your research habits?

P. Clare: My college degree and graduate work is in archaeology, and my career has been in journalism. Both are very research intensive and involve lots of “digging.” I’m a fact addict, and though I would never claim that any book I write is free from any kind of research error, I do work very hard to be accurate, taking only the occasional liberty. Most of the research for my I-Team series has been done on the job as a journalist. There aren’t a lot of women in investigative journalism because it’s confrontational and sometimes dangerous. I’ve had a lot of really unique experiences as a result of my career, and I can probably say with some degree of certainty that I’m one of very few romance novelists who’s had a gun held on her, seen someone get his head shot off, gotten dozens of death threats, had her home broken into by knife-wielding thugs, and had a couple of stalkers.

Page 5: What does it take to go undercover as a reporter?

P. Clare: A sense that you’re a crusader. Journalism is the only constitutionally protected profession in our country. The Founders felt that a free press was essential to guarantee freedom from oppression. Journalists are supposed to act as a voice for the voiceless. We’re supposed to watch those in power. We’re supposed to shine lights into the dark corners and turn over rocks so that we can expose all the wriggling worms — corruption, abuses of power, silent suffering. I believe in that mission with my heart and soul. Not many journalists partake in journalism on that level these days; for many it’s just a day job.

To go undercover, you really have to believe that you can make a difference and change the world for the better through what you’re doing. I suppose that sounds grandiose and naïve, but when you find something unjust and are able to change what’s happening, it’s an incredible feeling. To bring justice into someone’s life is such a blessing. I could tell you stories…

Page 6: I know that you played on your experience of going undercover in a prison to write UNLAWFUL, did that make the book harder to write in the sense that you had an understanding what happened behind closed doors? And how will it affect future books in this series?

P. Clare: Actually, this book is full of experiences gleaned not only from my 24-hour stay behind bars, but also my long focus on reporting prison issues. There are a few topics I’ve specialized in as an investigative reporter, and women in prison is one of them. That experience — both covering stories and being behind bars myself — really make this book easy in terms of filling it with authentic detail. A couple of the cases mentioned in the book are stories I broke — a heroin overdose behind bars and an inmate’s stillbirth due to neglect on the part of the prison guards. In fact, the book is dedicated to the stillborn baby. I definitely feel like my own experience gave me a very real understanding of the issues.

I don’t think it will have an impact on future books because I don’t plan to set any others in the same sort of prison milieu. But I always draw from my own reporting background for the I-Team stories. One other topic I’ve reported on extensively is issues faced by contemporary American Indians, and that’s what’s going to underpin Naked Edge, the next book in the I-Team series.

Page 7: What was your favorite part about writing UNLAWFUL?

P. Clare: I loved getting lost in Marc and Sophie. Marc was a really fun person to inhabit, if I can use that word. I loved his inner dialogue.

I also loved getting to use my prison slang. I’d waited years to do that!

I loved writing about two people who are so attracted to one another that it’s almost a force of nature for them.

I also loved showing the stuff that happens behind bars and opening that up in a fictional context.

Page 8: I feel like the relationship that Sophie and Marc share is a little more special (they share a past, which I’m super excited about!) than the bonds between Kara and Reece and Tessa and Julian. Can you tell us a little bit about what it took to write each relationship and how they all differ?

P. Clare: Sophie and Marc, as you point out, have known each other since high school. When people connect during those really vulnerable years, the bonds can be very strong. Neither Marc nor Sophie has forgotten the night Marc took Sophie’s virginity. And although the present very much intrudes into their relationship, there’s always that deep affection, that remembrance, underlying their feelings for one another. There’s one scene in particular that betrays what they mean to each other — the scene in which Sophie recognizes Marc. He’s holding her down, with her wrists pinned. And gradually their hands shift until their fingers are interlaced.

For me as a writer, it was very emotionally rich stuff to draw on. I really feel my characters are real when I’m writing. So when they’ve got interesting stuff in their minds and personal histories, it because a fun thing for me to experience along with them.

Kara’s issue was an inability to trust men, so Reece came along and managed to heal that wound. Tessa didn’t really trust men, either, at least not sexually. She was very cautious. Then along comes Julian, and he turns her world upside down, at the same time proving himself to be the one man she can trust. But the relationship between Sophie and Marc is much more complicated because of past associations and what those meant to each of them.

Page 9: What was the most difficult scene/situation/relationship to write in UNLAWFUL CONTACT?

P. Clare: I spent three very difficult weeks writing the scene were Marc confronts the primary villain (no spoilers here). THREE WEEKS. Getting the flow of the action right from the moment Marc appears on the scene to the moment when the final shot is fired and keeping the emotions intact was very tricky for some reason. Usually action scenes are the easiest ones for me to write.

I also cried my eyeballs out at the climax of the story. I spent probably eight hours writing and crying and went through an entire box of Puffs.

And, of course, the sex scenes. Sex is very difficult to write, in my opinion. Drives me nuts, and not in a good way.

Page 10: What’s one thing that each Sophie and Marc would ultimately change about their past?

P. Clare: For both of them it’s one thing: Don’t lose touch with each other. Marc thinks in the story that if that one thing were different — if he’d kept Sophie in his life — everything would have gone differently, and I think he’s right.

Page 11: How does Marc Hunter compare to your previous heroes- The Senator, Reece Sheridan and über-bad boy turned FBI Special Agent, Julian Darcangelo?

P. Clare: Marc is an über-bad boy in his own way. Convicted of first-degree murder, he’s serving life without parole when the story opens. But there’s more to him than even he is willing to admit. But whereas Julian was very dark inside and out, having grown up without love in his life, Marc at least had a mother and a little sister who loved him. He might seem like more of a bad boy than Julian at first, but inside he’s not quite as dark as Julian. Reece is just the all around Perfect Man. Got to find me one of those.

Sin: Amen Pamela! *making notes to find Julian later on and have my wicked way with him*

The Lost Chronicles of Pamela Clare: Act One, Scene Three: Questions?!

Alright wenches and pirates of the Romance Writer’s Revenge!! Time to get to know Pamela Clare! She’s in the house today to talk about and answer any and all questions. No question is too tough for this pirate!! Make sure to ask LOTS of questions about her next release in the I-Team Series, UNLAWFUL CONTACT, to be released on April 01, 2008!! Inquiring minds are dying for spoilers!

Comment, Comment, Comment! There will be rewards for lucky commenters! (To be announced later today!)

The Soundtrack of the Hero’s Journey

2008-03-17T14:39:00.004-05:00

All stories are the same at the core. Even our ancient ancestors knew the value of a commercial ending where good triumphs evil and the boy gets the girl. Beowulf. David & Goliath. Jesus. (Okay, so there’s some disqualifying disclaimers about the boy getting the girl thing…but I assure you, we’ve always wanted the good guy to win.) Joseph Campbell recognized it: All stories relate and put into perspective the human experiences (themes, if you will) of love and conflict. It’s why a lot of the time we stare blankly at our screens, wondering what to write and sound original, because nothing has been original since man started scribbling their stories down.

Because Joseph Campbell wasn’t a writer, he wasn’t exactly interesting in how he explained all this. And he certainly didn’t have the benefit of a smörgåsbord of pop hits to explain the key points. Music always gets me in touch with the scenes I need to write, so maybe you can use this to make a little soundtrack for yourself when you find yourself at a hero’s journey step you’re writing. Think how much better the scene with Beowulf and Grendel would be if Who Wants To Live Forever or The Final Countdown had been playing in the background.

The Ordinary World: This is the part where you reveal the lives of the hero and heroine before they meet. What are their problems, what’s missing? This aspect is frequently tied with “The Call to Adventure” as an opening hook, to draw the reader in and keep them interested. It’s a careful balance to reveal enough of the characters that we connect to them and care about the urgent problem.

Song: Ordinary World [Duran Duran]; It’s a Beautiful Life [Ace of Base]

The Call to Adventure: the inciting incident, the hook. The urgent problem that suddenly disrupts the ordinary world where the hero and heroine was previously holding it together. The more urgent, the better.

Song: It’s the End of the World as We Know It [REM]

Refusal of the Call: Clearly we don’t want urgent problems. We are content with the status quo from before, and we make every effort to ignore the problem (in hope it goes away) or give it away (make it someone else’s problem.) And because our natural inclination is to ignore our problems or have someone else take care of them, we create more conflict—and consequences to our actions and inaction.

Song: We Don’t Need Another Hero [Tina Turner]

Meeting with the Mentor: Don’t worry: this is not always Yoda or Gandalf. In a regular romance novel, you don’t exactly go around looking for little green men or white-bearded magicians to pick their brains for advice. But you usually do have the funny sidekick best friend or the precocious child who offers up the one statement that makes the hero/heroine reconsider taking the steps toward love.

Song: That’s What Friends Are For [Dionne Warwick]; You Can Call Me Al [Paul Simon]

Crossing the First Threshold: The first plot point aspect that is frequently referred to in other less fun, confusing writing articles. It is the event that is the first turning point where the hero and heroine are going to start working together.

Song: Let’s Work Together [Canned Heat]; Take a Chance on Me [ABBA]

Tests, Enemies and Allies: The first half of the middle where the hero and heroine are still getting to know each other, where enemies who will cause problems later (as well as here) reveal themselves, where we’ll meet characters who want the hero and heroine together. If you follow the four-act structure, this is the “complications” portion of the programming. I think this is where the sexual tension is building to the boiling point.

Song: Hungry Eyes [Eric Carmen]; Abracadabra [Steve Miller Band]

Approach to the Inmost Cave: Plot point 2. Midpoint of the story where the characters, whether they realize it or not, start to love each other. Trust, intimacy.

Song: Can’t Help Fallin’ In Love [Elvis or UB40]; Fallin’ [Alicia Keys]

The Supreme Ordeal: Plot Point 3, an event that has far reaching consequences and which answers the question posed in the first part of the book. (Frequently characters start out with one goal or want, and here is where it is sorely tested.)

Song: Hanging by a Moment [Lifehouse]; The World I Know [Collective Soul];

Seizing the Sword: Consequences of the Supreme Ordeal, either good or bad.

Song: Everything You Want [Vertical Horizon]; We Are the Champions [Queen]

The Road Back: A somewhat quieter time before (and including) the Black Moment where on the surface things appear fine, but beneath the surface, we know everything is going to implode and have fall out

Song: It Must Have Been Love [Roxette]; Don’t Know What You’ve Got (Till It’s Gone) [Cinderella]

Resurrection: The part after the Black Moment where the heroine womans up (or the hero mans up) to their neuroses and gets a grip. Tinkle or get off the pot. Because we’re writing HEA’s—they tinkle.

Song: Return to Me [Bob Dylan]; …Baby, One More Time [Britney Spears]

Return With the Elixir: The HEA. ‘Nuff said.

Song: Baby, I Love Your Way [Big Mountain]; Power of Love [Celine Dion]

So clearly besides my schizophrenic and questionable taste in “pop/rock” music, we can also come to the glaring conclusion I’m no closer to completing my synopsis this week than I was last week and have now chosen to pursue that most noble of all writing traditions: PROCRASTINATION. If you had a soundtrack for the hero’s journey, what songs would you put on it? What’s your hero and heroine’s theme or love song?

And speaking of songs that get you in the “mood” for scenes, what songs do you listen to when you’re writing love scenes? (Bow-chica-bow-wow…) I’m afraid my song choices are just as tasteless as the ones I’ve listed above. Right now I even have Britney’s Slave4You rolling through my mind.

Eating My Words

2008-03-17T06:00:00.005-05:00

We've talked a great deal on this blog about plotting. Who is pantsing it and who is plotting along. We've discussed storyboarding, outlining and even collaging. A couple of crew members balk at all this plotting talk saying it constricts them or freaks them out to see plot points or even scene ideas written down somewhere. They act as if it's carved in stone because they commit it to paper in any way and that crimps their style. My reaction has always been this is silly. Nothing says it's written in stone. It's all changeable, flexible, disposable. You're the writer and you are in charge.

And these words have back around to bite me on the ass.

I've been trying to move forward in the old WIP. Months ago I wrote a sequence of scenes down in a notebook including what would generally happen in each scene, what I wanted to accomplish with it, and maybe a line or two of dialogue. I grew dependent on the notebook as if I couldn't go forward without referring back to it. But when I came to the next scene in the notebook, it wasn't working. I just sat and stared at the screen. Words didn't come.

Then I realized that wasn't the right scene for this spot in the story. And what I wanted to accomplish with the scene needs to happen later anyway. So a new scene appeared and with it, a new character. For some reason, I had been reluctant to go against those words I had written months ago. As if I couldn't change it. I was restricted, restrained, my style was officially crimped.

So, I am a big enough pirate to say, I was wrong. I still think jotting down scenes can help at some point and there are people who can plot the entire book ahead of time and it writes itself. But I now understand the resistance to plotting on paper. The need to just let it come. The freak out shivers that afflicted Sin when the Captain made her plot.

I'm not sure if this makes me a total pantser, but I am glad this revelation came before I was ready to throw the damn computer out the window. I have a new character to develop, a new conflict and motivation for my heroine (YEEHAW!), and a new occupation for my heroine. This will be her third sort of. But this one will fit much better.

So, have you had to break any chains lately? Had any new crafting revelations? Have a large quantity of alcohol I can consume to get me through the "I told you so" dances that will be taking place all day?

Oh, and Happy St. Patrick's Day!!! May the luck of the Irish be with you, and may your words be flowing like Guinness on the Emerald Isle.

Hottie Crew Member of the Week

2008-03-16T00:04:00.006-05:00

Last night I attended a Professional Bull Riders event. I haven't been to one of these shindigs in some time and none of my favorites were there, but it was still a fun night. Mostly because I got to watch adorable cowboys all night long. This has convinced me we need a cowboy on this ship. So, I give you Cole the Cowboy.

*cue Big & Rich SAVE A HORSE, RIDE A COWBOY*

To be honest, I haven't figured out exactly what Cole's duties will be, but after looking at this picture I'm sure you'll all agree with me in saying who cares. I say he's a morale booster and that's enough. And I have some creative ideas about what we can do with that saddle….

We've been anticipating it and promoting it for more than two weeks and the time is finally here. Pamela Clare will be hopping aboard this Wednesday (19th) to talk her latest Romantic Suspense release HARD EVIDENCE. We might also get her to share about her Historicals, writing, investigative reporting, and of course hotties. Mark your calendars now and help us give Pamela a big pirate welcome this Wednesday.

Now, anyone interested in some riding lessons?

Working it

2008-03-14T05:00:00.001-05:00

I’m glad I pretend to be a pirate, because honestly, I wouldn’t make a good one. I don’t want to be a legend, or even a household name. I’m not a leader I’m a follower. I’m sure upon hearing this proclamation; Captain Jack will take away my weekend rum portion. Oh well, I’m not much of a drinker either. *g*

I’m new to the writing game. I’ll be the first to admit I have a lot to learn on the rules, and intricacies of the world of writing. The only thing I’m certain of is that I love to write.

I’ve always been a loner.

My two brothers are 6 and 7 years older than I am. I practically grew up an only child. I played alone most of my childhood, and never once complained. You might assume it’s because I was a spoiled child. Well, that’s beside the point, but I actually enjoyed playing alone. I could sit for hours with my Barbie dolls and be completely content. I credit these moments as my earliest work with dialog. I either talked aloud or mentally conversed with Barbie, Ken, and Midge. I brought GI Joe into the mix when I wanted a little adventure action. I enjoyed making up scenes and situations for them to act out, and of course, it involved a great deal of angst. Even at an early age, I aspired to be a queen of angst.

I still am a loner. I would be content to live on an island as long as I have my laptop, a lifetime supply of Diet Coke, and a bookstore nearby. The point I’m trying to make, is that I don’t always enjoy conversing, especially when it involves talking about me. I can write stories all day, but when it comes to getting my point across, I lack ingenuity. I may have a wonderful understanding of the subject at hand, but that doesn’t mean I’ll ever prove it to anyone, and most of the time it’s not my main priority.

I realize that in networking with other writers, I meet many successful people who can prove to be great mentors. I appreciate the blog for that reason, and I admire the writers and readers who stop by every day to comment. I admit I find it hard to get to know people in type written words. It’s very easy to misinterpret words without the accompaniment of facial expression. It’s difficult enough for me to get to know a person when they are standing in front of me. You throw a keyboard and a couple of modems in the equation, and it gets even cloudier.

If being published depends on me tooting my own horn, and name-dropping then I’ll never succeed. It’s not about whom I know, or who knows me, it’s about my individuality, and how I voice it in my writing. If somewhere during the journey I make a few lingering impressions with my peers, then I’ll feel I accomplished something.

Don’t get me wrong, I love you all, but if you need me, I’ll be below deck.

Do you find it intimidating to network? Are there days when you don’t feel like commenting, or blogging, even when it’s your day to produce? Does anyone else have the sudden urge for a drink with the accompaniment of a tiny paper umbrella? Is it Friday yet?

My God/Goddess Complex

2008-03-12T21:42:00.004-05:00

I watched the Disney movie, Hercules, yesterday. I enjoy the movie; in fact, I enjoy most Disney movies. But, too often my enjoyment is lessened by my annoyance at how much they differ from their originals. So, characteristically, my movie watching was peppered with much harrumphing over how far Disney diverged from mythology in order to pacify our monogamy loving society. (Of course, the only company I had in my movie watching was my one year old and he was, predictably, unmoved by my rant.)

It was frustrating, though. Zeus professed his love for Hercules repeatedly and was shown cuddling Hera to him as if they were a happy married couple. Apparently philandering, jealousy, and pettiness are a little more than the Disney movie, rated-G audience could tolerate. I’d imagine most parents wouldn’t wish to deal with the resultant questions from the real myths - “Mama, did Zeus really pretend to be Alcmene’s husband in order to have sex with her so she could have his son, Hercules?”

I find all this so upsetting because there is value to the morals (or lack thereof) and themes in mythology. One of the things I like most about the Greek myths is that the majority of the gods have complete disregard for the struggles of the humans their actions affect. For example, as referenced above, Zeus visits Alcmene, Hercules’ mortal mother, while her husband is away disguised as her husband. Upon discovering that Zeus got this chick pregnant, his wife, Hera, in a jealous fit, decides to make Hercules’ birth difficult by delaying his delivery and making the poor girl suffer through a long, life-threatening ordeal.

Why wasn’t she pissed at Zeus, I ask? Why weren’t his clothes, bowling trophies, and electronic equipment strewn along the side of Mt. Olympus? Instead of taking her anger out on the real cause, she goes off and harasses Alcmene who was just as much deceived in the whole mess as Hera was.

Well, because like so many myths, this story teaches us wee mortals that sometimes life isn’t fair and we just have to power through and suck it up. In myths, it is usually the character who continues to struggle and persevere in the face of great odds that is rewarded by the gods.

Now, you ask, what does this horrible flashback to high school English have to do with romance writing?

Well, we as the writers are the gods.

Oh, I’m not propagating philandering, jealousy, or other such pettiness and wrong-doing. I’m saying we have to have complete disregard for our characters feelings. We have to make their lives miserable and drag them through ordeal after ordeal. Because at the end, if they keep struggling against all the obstacles we horribly put in front of them, they will be deserving of the happily ever after we have planned.

I’m about to write the first of a few big black moments in my WIP. It’s where my hero discovers that my heroine has been hiding the fact that she’s a witch. Not so bad, except that he finds out because she uses magic to save them from a fire that begins while they are occupied in a rather compromising situation, after which they are discovered in a state of dishabille. So, now he’s going to be forced to marry a girl who’s lied to him for weeks, who is different from everyone else, and who has made no effort to hide her need for a wealthy husband. And, well, she loves

him and now he has a bunch of reasons to distrust her.

In a nod to my more “let’s all just get along” tendencies, I’m balking. It’s going to be sad and heart-wrenching and I’m probably going to cry. And, I’ll feel stupid, I think, because they are just fake people.

But, I have to be their god and make them earn their HEA.

I’m hardening my heart, people… and preparing to rip theirs out.

Have you written any of these black moment scenes? If so, what advice do you have in the execution of character torture? Any ways to make it less painful? Or, if that doesn’t strike your fancy, how about Disney movies. What are your favorites and am I the only one who rages against misrepresentation of original stories?

Game of Pick Up

2008-03-12T00:00:00.004-05:00

When I was a child there were endless games to be played. I spent the majority of my time at the church yard, sitting on the grass hill beside the old school bus in Rowland’s driveway watching the older boys play basketball with an old, netless goal. Days turned into months, years turned into years. I was a scrawny thing as a kid. My feet were too big. My arms too long. My legs too spindly. I could barely get the ball up to the hoop. And finally, one summer day the ball came my way and I picked it up. The boy with his dark brown eyes looked down at me, grin as wide as his face.

“You’re holding that ball like you can play.”

I pursed my lips, enjoying the feel of the warn leather and sleek rubber against my fingertips. By this time, I was almost ten. Every night, I’d sneak up to the church and practice on my own. I’d watched the boys enough that I knew what to do. I could shoot the ball. I could dribble. I cocked my hip out and pitched him back the ball. “If you let me play, I’ll show you.”

The boy smiled and motioned me over. He ruffled my hair as we walked over to the group of boys standing in the middle of the makeshift concrete court. “Check it out. She wants to play.”

All of them groaned, except the boy standing at my side. He pushed me forward and I thought my knees would start knocking. I pulled my ponytail tighter and set my shoulders. I could play. I wouldn’t let them talk me out of it.

“I want to play.” I said, smacking the ball from the boy standing beside me. I dribbled it while I let them debate and finally the boy who had drawn me over said he would sit out. My heart beat nervously, thumping hard against my ribs as we took our places. I stood at the point and the other boy with freckles, the one who was in my class and sat behind me in last year pulling my hair, telling people I had lice, that my mother was really my sister, stood in front of me. He sneered as he bounced the ball hard and it smacked my hands with a sharp sting. I bit my tongue and shoved it back at him. He stood there for the longest time, staring me down before he tossed the ball to his right and ran to his left, shoving my shoulder as he went by. He made me work hard to cover him, running me around in circles until I was blue in the face.

The game went on forever. The sun was hot on my shoulders, baking me like a chocolate chip cookie. Grandma had laid out a red tank top for me and a pair of matching shorts. It was a boy shirt from the Goodwill. The freckled boy had on one that was blue and I felt my heart sink. I saw the look in his eye when he realized we were wearing the same shirt and he opened his mouth to lay into me. “Mama too poor to buy you girl clothes? You want me to just give you this shirt so you don’t have to pay a dime for it?” I turned on my heels and started to walk away. Grandpa had warned me earlier in the summer to stop fighting. Grandma was giving him a headache telling him the devil was alive in me. Grandpa just wanted me to get it all out before I was a teen. Whatever that meant.

“I know why you don’t have any friends.” I paused. I knew this was coming. “You’re not a boy or a girl. You’re a freak!”

And before I knew it, I wheeled back around and walked back to him with one goal in mind. Beating him senseless. “Take it back!” I shouted. “Take that back!”

And he grinned. “Whadya gonna do? Hit me with your little freak hands?"

I balled my little hand into a fist and punched him square in the nose. The boys were silent. The freckled boy howled. He pushed me hard and I fell backwards onto the concrete. My hand was covered in his blood and his nose was a waterfall. We stared at each other for the longest time and I got up and launched myself on him. We rolled and punched and kicked and screamed. We fought like that until I could barely lift my arms anymore and the boy who had started this all by bringing me over plucked me off of him by the back of my shorts. “Alright, pip squeak, I think you’ve had enough.” He tossed a look to the freckled kid, “Time for you to go home.”

The boy gave me the stare down until he rounded the corner of the church and the rest of the boys reluctantly took off too. Dusk was approaching; supper would be starting soon for most of them. It was only the boy and me. He regarded me with an amused look for a long time, while I stared at my little bloody hands. I’d glance up at him waiting for him to laugh and say “told you so”. But he didn’t. He walked over to the forgotten basketball and used his foot to kick it up to his hands. “I’ve seen you up here late at night.” He said and I glanced up at him. “I’ve watched you shoot the ball. You’re really getting pretty good.” I blushed. Thank god for blood stains and sunburn because I was already shy and embarrassed to all end.

“I didn’t see you shoot the ball.” He said, handing me the ball. “Why?”

I shrugged a shoulder and lobbed the ball up to the hoop. It went in with a little rattle and bounced back down to me. I bounced it around a little bit and I watched the dust bounce up each time it hit the concrete.

“You didn’t want them to make fun of you, did you?”

I shot a look up at him and shook my hand. I handed him back the ball, ready for this day to be over with. “Thanks.” I told him. “I’m sorry I caused problems.”

He grinned, a boyish lock of blonde hair fell over his eyes. “See you next time.”

But I knew that there wouldn’t be one. Too much trouble. That is until I became a teenager. Then I whooped those boys ass into the dirt with my basketball skills. Except for that boy. He helped me get there.

Just like everything else in my life, there’s always something I wish I would’ve kept up with. Always something left behind in the pursuit of another dream. I loved basketball. I played every waking moment until I fell in “love” with a boy. Then I fell in love with boys in general. Then I fell in love with writing poetry. Then I fell in love with basketball again. Then singing. You get the point.

As a writer, there’s always something needing your attention. But sometimes there is something; waiting in the wings, under a pile of half read books with bookmarks you’ve been looking for months now. Killer dust bunnies have assumed watch over it with tiny pollen infested assault riffles. Each night as you walk by, you slide a longing gaze over it, the feeling of dread settles in the pit of your stomach at the thought of annihilating the killer dust bunnies and picking it up for the first time in forever. It calls to you in the middle of the night. Not really saying much at all, other than reminding you it’s still there. Waiting anxiously for you to take another chance at it.

And then one day, you sigh. You can’t stand it anymore. It’s driving you literally insane. You pick it up; blow the killer dust bunnies away and flip open the pages. You see faded handwriting, places where the ink has blotted into a big blob. Torn pages where you’ve taken a piece for a quick phone number cuts off an important sentence that you no longer remember what it was leading up to… What I’m talking about is that dreaded partial manuscript. You know, that one you were passionate about for all of a month before you got bored with it and sat it down without another thought. The concept was good. You had passion for what you were writing about, but like all puppy loves, it came in with a fury and went out like a lamb. But all it takes is a little spark to get it going again. Just a thought. A glance. A conversation over dinner. A mood that strikes late at night. So you take out the pen and start writing again, feeling that joy that you once felt for the story line, the characters, the overall feeling of the work. You take joy in your quiet time, alone with your work. And it produces BIG numbers in the word count game. You’re happy. For now. But what keeps you happy? Is it the fact of starting something fresh in your mind? Or is it the joy that you found the first time when writing it? And what keeps you from ditching it again? For me it’s all about progress and staying positive while writing. So if it makes me happy, I do it. And if it doesn’t, well sometimes I just grit my teeth and bear it.

Have you ever ditched a manuscript and came back to it days, weeks, months, years later? Did you ever finish it? What gives you the most joy about reading and/or writing?

Fear Factor: What's Scarier Than Being Thrown Into a Pit of Snakes?

2008-03-11T08:54:00.001-05:00

Here’s a list of a few of the things I’d rather do right now than complete this stupid synopsis:

Be tied to a stake and burned to death (you die of the smoke inhalation first anyway)

Fish tomatoes out of a tank of snakes with just my mouth (I saw this on a reality show. They used pissed off garden snakes. I’d rethink this if they were actually using cobras or something.)

Substitute teach (yeah, you heard me) a group of high-schoolers about Henry David Thoreau, even though I’ve never read him and never got why he was a big deal since his writing was as engaging as watching paint dry.

House work.

Folders.

Yep. It’s bad.

But I went to the trusty web and pulled off some articles about synopsis writing; and then I headed off to lunch to pick the best one to follow. Of the four articles, three scared me right off. They babbled about hooks and using your writer’s voice; I nearly went into a coma several times just trying to get through the articles. But the fourth, “The Top Ten Questions For A Successful Synopsis” by Victoria Ardito, was engaging and easy to follow. Plus she used a Disney story to prove her point. How could I resist?

So let’s jump right in, shall we?

Who is the heroine and what does she want?

Well, that should be relatively easy, right? Okay: Livie Foster is a single (is this redundant? Hmm) 28-year-old secretary who sews costumes in her spare time and dreams of dating a guy who isn’t searching for a love like the Titanic. She longs for adventure, but mostly she longs for acceptance. I’m going to have to use a different identifier for her. That secretary bit is boring, but what else can she do? Shark-hunter? Argh.

Who is the hero and what does he want?

I’m not looking forward to this. Livie should have been the easy one! Okay: Ben Tucker is a ~~spoiled brat who was turned into a beast~~…maybe not…32-year-old married charmer, who is the brother-in-law to Livie’s best friend. He wishes for someone to see the real him, not the philanderer everyone assumes him to be. But the woman who seems to understand him most—isn’t his wife—and longing for her gives credit to all the rumors.

What brings the hero and heroine together?

Livie and Ben meet at a New Year’s Eve party; and later, they have to work together as they are both in her best friend’s wedding.

What problem do they encounter at their first meeting or shortly thereafter?

Livie finds out he’s married and the “rat bastard” no one else can stand.

How do they overcome the initial problem and achieve some measure of success?

Livie gives Ben the benefit of the doubt and becomes friends with him because she believes her friend’s assessment of Ben might be prejudiced without facts. The more she hangs out with him, the more she sees a caring nice guy rather than a villain. Plus he’s not cheating with her on his wife—and she’s not really sure how he’d have time to fit in another woman. (Tolerable, perhaps; though this runs into that philosophical question of: “when is it cheating? When they’re doing the deed? Or is being friends enough since that is a sort of ‘emotional’ cheating?” I’m beginning to really hate my hero. And even if he’s not married, only dating someone serious—this is still a moral question. Ah, well, life’s not perfect, hmm?)

What happens to spoil initial success?

Hard to narrow this one down. Is it the wedding reception scene or the crashed party later? At the wedding reception, his wife confronts Livie—and Livie is mortified and realizes how appearances are far more condemning than truth. Doesn’t want to be a ‘homewrecker’ figuratively or literally. She makes the choice that reflects this; and the crashed party is re-confirmation of this choice.

Where does this problem lead?

They don’t get together, and this leads to more unhappiness all around, though they try to move on with their respective lives. While on a group float trip, Ben and Livie get caught in a compromising situation, and Ben punches Livie’s boyfriend to defend her honor.

What risk do hero and heroine take to deal with new challenge?

Livie is given an ultimatum to choose between her friendship and Ben. She chooses neither and refuses to talk to anyone.

Ben separates from his wife and pursues Livie, after resettling in his own apartment.

What is their dark moment?

Ben is shot by a mystery woman, leading all to believe that he is a cheater—and that he’s cheating on Livie. (I know. This is where all of you are going: WTF? What mystery woman?!? The one who shot him in the opening hook, guys.)

How do they get their HEA?

Livie decides to trust Ben rather than believe what is circumstantial evidence. Ben lives. It is revealed that it is Ben’s brother who is cheating—and Ben has been covering (protecting) him. (Ha, I bet you guys didn’t see that coming. That’s okay. I didn’t either. Dee had to tell me that little tidbit. She was completely convinced that was my major twist, and how could I not agree?)

Now I have to go back and turn this into a present-tense bit of writing, but it’s possible to do so.

The other keys everyone kept harping about?

Don’t refer to the other secondary characters by name. This should be about the romantic arc between your hero and heroine, so your secondary characters should remain as secondary as possible by being nameless.

Have an opening hook. (This one gave me hives.) Basically something that’s on the back of the novel—the blurb. Show off your writing voice here, definitely. Ask the novel’s story question.

Be concise. Don’t tell everything that happens. Cover the main plot turning points.

Clearly even though I've answered the questions, the synopsis (and the book) still need a lot of work. And I'm sorry for those of you who didn't want to know the twist until it was published. (Honestly since there is a snowball's chance of this particular book being published, we'll consider this an exercise in how to write my next book...and synopsis.)

Anyone done a synopsis yet? Any tips to make it easier? Anything you’d rather be doing than writing it? Any tomato-divers out there? House work junkies?

Why do they do that?!

2008-03-10T06:00:00.003-05:00

We make decisions everyday. From what time to get out of bed to what to wear to what to eat. We are always making choices. Even refusing to get out of bed and face the world is a choice. And what moves us to make these choices? Motivation.

It's not something we always consciously think about. I sometimes decide what to wear to work based on who I might see that day. If the owner of the company is coming, the more professional clothes come out. If I know a particular guy I have my eye on is coming in, a different type of top goes on. And if I know the higher ups are all taking the day off, the jeans and tennis shoes work just fine.

Right now I'm working on my food choices which are motivated by my deep desire not to fulfill my potential of becoming as big as a house. Trust me, I have the potential to reach this condition with very little effort. I've maintained my weight within a 10 to 15 pound range since high school but I'm getting older and I can see that range stretching before my eyes. Fear, vanity, and the desire to live a long and healthy life motivate me to try to eat, if not better, less.

Since motivation is such an integral part of everything we do, you'd think finding the motivation behind our character's actions would be simple. Ha! Not so much. It's hard. Really hard. At least for me. And I think it's because my story is very character driven. I can't claim my heroine is running from a serial killer and that's why she's driving like a crazy person. I can't claim my hero is working for the British government to prevent a seemingly imminent war and that's why he's kidnapping French spies.

The best I can do is the fact my heroine wants a family but her fear of getting hurt is stronger than her desire not to be alone so she treats the hero like crap out of sheer self-preservation. That's motivation but it's much more complicated and sounds much less exciting.

In my quest for character motivation, I have purchased Goal, Motivation, & Conflict by Debra Dixon. I highly recommend this book and if you'd like to attend a workshop with Ms. Dixon in person, see me on the top deck. I can tell you how to make that happen.

So, Ms. Dixon recommends first time authors give their character one simple, strong and focused motivation. Yeah, I see my problem now. Back to lack of focus. She also recommends putting urgency behind the motivation. Whatever it is the character wants, make it urgent. I am so in trouble.

The trick is to keep asking "Why?" Why does he kiss her if he can't stand her? Why does she let him when she thinks he's an overbearing moron? Why does he give her nice things but refuse to let her go? Why does she go down the basement to investigate that crashing sound when she knows there's a killer after her? Really, I'm dying to know the answer to that last one.

Do you know exactly why your characters do all the silly, remarkable and dangerous things they do? Do you make sure you know the motivation behind every scene as you write it? Or do you just write and never even think about it? Have any tricks for finding it that you could share with the rest of us?

Hottie Crew Member of the Week

2008-03-09T00:06:00.005-06:00

If you've spent anytime on this ship at all, you are well aware of the always flowing rum and other adult beverages. With all the guests and parties and debauchery, I found it necessary to find a full time bartender for the crew. I give you Bo the Bartender.

As you can see, the girls are already getting out of hand and dancing on the bar. But what can you expect when Bo gives such wonderful service right from the hot tub? I personally like it when the bubbles all disappear and I can see…errr….. never mind. So, anyone feel like taking a dip in the hot tub? Hey, stop shoving. I had no idea sweet, little Gunner Marnee could be so violent….

Don't forget to be here next Wednesday (3/19) when Romance Writer's Revenge proudly hosts a day with Romantic Suspense/Historical author Pamela Clare. We'll be talking hot men, a little mystery, hot men, in depth research and more hot men. You won't want to miss it.

PS: Hope you remembered to turn your clocks forward one hour last night. If you didn't, you better move it because you're an hour late!

A Fly on the Wall

2008-03-07T05:00:00.002-06:00

I have this uncanny ability to wonder into bookstores at the most opportune moments. I never check local papers for authors appearing at local bookstores, but it appears I have a homing device that clues me in on such occurrences.

This past Saturday I wondered into a local bookstore and found a large crowd waiting in line for a book signing. The author was Homer Hickam. Mr. Hickam is a native of West Virginia who grew up in the coalfields. His book entitled Rocket Boys generated the 1999 movie October Sky. As a boy, Hickam launched a rocket from a coalfield, and later became a NASA rocket scientist. He has a new book release called Red Helmet. The book tells the story of a Sonya Hawkins, a wealthy and beautiful woman, who falls in love with a coal mine manager, and has a rude awakening when she reaches the coalfields from the streets of NYC. Sonya’s marriage gradually unravels, and a tragedy strikes causing Sonya to don the novice red miner’s helmet and go deep within the mine. Inside the mine, she learns more about herself than she ever imagined possible. While Hickam visited Huntington this weekend, he launched a scholarship program for Marshall University. You might recall the movie We Are Marshall starring Matthew McConaughey. It was about a fatal plane crash in 1970 that claimed the lives of the coaches and members of the Marshall Football team. This scholarship benefits the same University depicted in the movie.

I did something at this book signing that I have never done before. I stood in a corner and observed. I’ve attended book signings before, but I’ve always participated, this time I wanted to be an observer. I’ve found that in some situations you can learn so much more from observation and speculation. In this instance, I couldn’t have been more on target. I watched each individual’s face as they approached Hickam. As at most book signings, their expressions signified awe and gratitude for work well done. Hickam never wavered. He graciously signed each individual’s book, and spoke to them a few moments. He also did an interview with the local news. At certain points during the process, I saw fatigue in Hickam’s expression, but the smile never left his face and he remained the same gracious author. I was impressed, and couldn’t help but wonder what it feels like to attain that kind of success. How launching a rocket in a field as a boy led to the man sitting in front of me. I wondered how it felt to obtain success and then bring it home to where it all began.

I am struggling to write my first WIP. This man has six published books, is a former rocket scientist, and has a movie based on one of his books. What kind of determination does it take to obtain that level of success? If I gained nothing else from observing this man, I received a large dose of inspiration. I thought about how I have grumbled to myself in the last several weeks about the rigors of writing a book. I asked myself is it that difficult, or am I defeating the purpose before I ever begin? This man obviously has put forth a great deal of time and effort to obtain his place in the literary world, as well as use his extreme intelligence to improve space science. In observing Mr. Hickam, I was able to put my own goals in perspective. When God gives me skill, I shouldn’t grumble if it takes hard effort to produce a product of that skill. I need to thank him for it, and view it as a privilege to use it for achievement.

The most important denominating factors for achievement is determination and the belief in one‘s self. I view writing a book like losing weight; nobody can diet for me, just as no one can write my WIP. The desire comes from an ideal that you can do anything your heart desires as long as you want it badly enough.

I believe that the culmination of success is not reached just because you publish, for at that point, the real test begins. You must maintain your game. You have to prove to the world that you’re not a one-book wonder.

This weekend I observed an enormously successful man, and couldn’t help but think how it felt to be sitting on his side of the table. I can’t imagine walking into a bookstore and observing my book upon a shelf, or opening the newspaper and reading my name on the NYT bestseller list. I want to know what it feels like to become a full time writer. I want to be able to give part of my success back to my community. Overall, I want to achieve a dream.

I hope I get the chance to live that dream, and I hope that when I do, I handle it with the same gentle graciousness that I saw displayed in Homer Hickam.

What are your aspirations of success? When you become successful, do you plan to do more with that success than publishing more books? If you are already published, how did it feel to learn you succeeded, and do you feel a tremendous amount of pressure to maintain that success? Do you believe in the power of observance?

Conflicts in Conflict

2008-03-06T05:30:00.000-06:00

The past months have seen big adjustments in my WIP. It’s changed from straight-up Regency to paranormal Regency with a bit of a whodunit thrown in for good measure.

When I undertook this endeavor, I assumed there would be some WIP backlash. It started immediately when I had to axe out 50 pages that just didn’t fit anymore. It’s better now, I think, but that did cause me some teeth gnashing and other such general pain.

The most recent snafu came up this week as I was getting a sliver together for the pirates to critique. I’ve stumbled across a conundrum. I find myself with so many plot threads that I hardly can keep them from twisting into an unrecognizable ball of literary goo.

“Writing is a journey,” I repeat to myself yogi/mantra style.

It just happens that this journey includes a mystery plot, my heroine’s internal and two external conflicts, my hero’s internal and external conflicts and the set up for another story, in case I choose to use it. Hardly JK Rowling-esque plot weaving required but it’s more than enough for me.

Before the revision, this was a lot easier because 1) my conflicts were mostly internal, 2) there were only two conflicts: his and hers. Now, with all these additional external shenanigans going on, it’s complicating my life. Or, more specifically, it’s complicating my characters’ lives in ways that is complicating my life.

I do think that these new external conflicts make my story better. And, on the bright side, they seem easier to progress than the internal ones, so that is something.

The only way I’ve figured out how to keep track of all of this is to list out my conflicts, pretty much as above with a little more detail, and then after I write a scene, read back through to make sure there’s growth in each specific conflict.

But, I’m not sure it’s working.

So, wenches, HELP! Which type of conflict do you think is easier to write? Which is more important to the story’s overall success? Any suggestions for how to keep multiple conflicts straight and moving forward? And, do you think external conflicts enhance your plot or not?

Show Me

2008-03-05T00:00:00.005-06:00

There have been many times in my life when emotion has taken over. When I no longer have control over what my mouth is saying and everything that I’d held inside for so long came front and centered. There is nothing like those moments, vulnerable and exposed to the one who’s either caused you pain or you’ve loved like no one before them. It’s in those moments that we realize who we are inside.

For some of us emotion is not easily said aloud but easier shown in small gestures that are often overlooked. It’s easy to say the words, “I love you” if you don’t really mean it. Words are often regaled as the emotion behind the person but without these gestures behind the meaning, it truly isn’t worth the last turnip on the turnip truck.

I’ve often thought about those gestures behind my characters. What makes them act the way they do? What makes you engage the character? Visualization of the scene, gestures that seem real and not overbearing. You really have to analyze every day life and those around you in order to get an understanding of this. To me this is one of the most important jobs of a writer. I want you to feel like you are in that scene. Like you can feel the motivation behind my character’s actions. If you can’t physically feel that emotion draped between the words, sentences, paragraphs, then I’m obviously not conveying it the right way.

I can think of a few writers that do this and do this well. Janet Evanovich (Yes, I am obsessed) and Pamela Clare (Here is me on my knees worshiping the fiction ground they both walk on) just to name two of them. I adore dark heroes. The darker the better. But that’s what makes their redemption so much sweeter in the end. The dark heroes know how to do the gestures behind their actions. For them, it’s the only way they can truly express their feelings without feeling overpowered by the moment.

It’s the small gestures that, to the reader, tell you everything you need to know about the relationship between two characters. There is no telling of these emotions, there is no need. As a reader, you sense that connection between the hero and heroine. Without that connection, I wouldn’t be a reader of their fiction. Plain and simple. I don’t need to be told of the emotion. Seriously, any schmuck can say the words “I love you” and grin like an idiot and that still doesn’t mean, to me, that they actually care or genuinely love. They are saying the words. There can be all the basis in the world behind them, and they still might not mean anything without the gesture of love behind it.

What do I mean by gesture, you might ask? To me, the gesture of love and emotion is showing me you mean it. By not just saying it, you truly feel it. Nothing will separate us. Not obsessive or overbearing; but that one true deep emotion that happens once in a million years. To me, P. Clare and J. Evanovich do this in spades. P. Clare just has this wonderful way of writing the emotional gestures behind the action. My favorite example of P. Clare’s gestures is *spoiler for Hard Evidence* when Julian steps into the line of fire and takes several bullets in the back for Tessa. Yes, he’s a FBI agent, but it’s the moments afterwards. The way Julian reacts. The tenderness between them when Tessa cries for him that truly shows you the gestures behind the motivation and emotion. It’s complex. It’s raw. And it’s truly awe-inspiring.

Julian is a different breed of dark hero. A man who truly doesn’t know his worth because he was never taught. There was no trust in his heart. No love in his life. My heart pitter-patters at the thought of Julian, dark sunglasses, 5 o’clock shadow, lean hips swaggering towards me. You can just tell that Julian is all action, no talk.

Not to mention J. Evanovich’s character Ranger (R. Carlos Manoso). All of the words that come out of Ranger’s mouth contradict his actions. The way he unabashedly tells the truth no matter how painful it is to hear it. He tells it straight. He makes no apologies. He’s hard and unforgiving. And it takes a special sort of love to understand him. If you hear the words come out of Ranger’s mouth you can take it to heart. He thinks about what he says before he speaks. Every word is weighed carefully. Don’t say things you don’t mean. But there is a sneakiness about Ranger as well. Qualifiers. Contradictions. Keeping at arm’s length.

Looks that tell a different story. Actions that show exactly what he feels.

Take for an example: In Twelve Sharp *spoilers for Twelve Sharp* the book is about Ranger’s daughter with whom he has little contact with. When asked about it, he speaks of her clinically, without emotion, detached. But his actions tell a different story. He exudes his every resource to find her. Spends countless hours awake, searching, hunting, tracking down leads. He enlists Stephanie to help him. And when he sees his little girl’s smiling face on the TV and a picture of him, listed as armed and dangerous, you see his mask slip and the emotion becomes very raw and painful. And even then, Stephanie knows that his daughter is just not another expense in his budget, but a real emotion he keep close to his heart and never shows to anyone.

There are a thousand examples I could use of J. Evanovich’s Ranger character. She’s the perfect manipulator of the actions speak louder than words scene writer.

So, in your opinion, who is the master of these sorts of gestures? What sort of characters suck you in and never let you go? Has there ever been a scene that just stuck out for you and stayed with you long after you sat the book down?

And I know that I told Hellion that this was going to be Eric Bana week, but I got stuck on Julian and Ranger. I get sidetracked very easily.

PS. Eric Bana I adore you. You are so hot with your 5 o’clock shadow and wicked bedroom ways. I am the pirate wench of your dreams. Not to be confused with a siren who will cause your ship to steer off course and crash. As Quartermaster it is my duty to guide you with my ultra fabulous sense of direction, which may or may not include getting you out of your trousers and into my private quarters.
Sincerely, Q. Sin.

Plotting for Dummies

2008-03-04T00:00:00.001-06:00

I subscribe to Urban Word of the Day, which if you don't subscribe, you should. It's damned hysterical. I subscribed upon learning the word: "mantastic", which is basically like the word "fantastic" with some testosterone to Bruce Willis it up a few notches. They always use the UWOTD in a sentence, so you're not looking stupid when you show off your new knowledge. "Following his fifth keg of beer, Kevin ripped the horn off of his pet narwhal, and then nailed his porn-star girlfriend for hours. Subsequently, he felt mantastic." I mean, it really makes you want to run out and use that word, doesn't it?

Last week's UWOTD Keeper-of-the-Week was: WSD.

I hadn't heard of this acronymic little gem yet, and was amused to learn it means: Write Shit Down.

Clearly genius.

Saturday, Sin and I held our RWR face-to-face critique meeting. Sin is, what you might call, a commitmentphobe. Or maybe she's is too committed. After all, if you put something in writing, she thinks it can't be changed again. (Therefore if she doesn't so much as revise as scraps the whole thing and starts again from scratch.)

Being I'm content to fix Sin's phobias rather than mine, I whipped out my newest writing obsession, my storyboard that I drew my precious straight lines all over, and forced her to give me plot points to the book she's supposedly going to submit to the Golden Heart. (I say supposedly because she mentions this one as her GH submission and writes on her paranormal instead.)

We filled in the blank storyboard, despite Sin's screaming refusal to do anything so tedious as put a story plot in storyboard/synopsis form. It was a success! It worked, much to Sin's chagrin. It's worked twice for me so far--though I'm going to have to recreate one and replot it some to make it better.

Why did it work? Because we WSD.

Now, the storyboard isn't really anything. It's twenty blocks (a 5x4 grid), assuming you're writing a 400 page book. 1st block: Hook; 2nd block: Inciting Incident; 4th block: Point of No Return; 5th block: Turning Point 1. (At least that's how I've set up my blocks at any rate; I'm combining this storyboarding with the 10 Essential Scenes from The Writer's Little Helper.) In the 4th row, I have a blank block, the CRISIS block, two CLIMAX blocks, and The End block.

5th block as we said is Turning Point 1; 10th block is Turning Point 2, which is a BIG EVENT block--the halfway point of your book and a big reveal of something; 15th block is Turning Point 3; and 20th block is The End.

Marnee is fond of the four-act structure--so basically everything that happens in row two is COMPLICATIONS and everything that happens in row three is CONSEQUENCES.

Then it gets more complicated with color-coding your post-its and such, but it's like a game! I never knew plotting could be a game! And you can glance at all you have and go: "Well, this is revealed here, so we probably need a hint somewhere around...here." And you scribble a note and plop it in a square where you think it will go. If you're not happy with it, you can move it around. It's more fun than a regular synopsis.

Even Sin could do it. Even though she didn't want to.

And yes, this is the same storyboarding that Manda at RV was talking about. It works. It really works! It's mantastic. So go get yourself some posterboard and post-its--and WSD.

So what is your favorite Urban Word of the Day? (Mine used to be "Sweet.") How do you feel about committing your plots to paper? Storyboarding or synopsises? Which is better?

The Focus Factor

2008-03-03T06:00:00.001-06:00

Life is rarely simple. It seems to be easier for some but for most of us, it's downright complicated. I don't know about the rest of you, but complications mess with my ability to focus. In the last several years, I've pretty much run on survival instincts alone. This means, whatever is most important at that moment, I do and think about the rest later. After years of this I'm afraid I'm stuck in survival mode. In other words, if something does not seem all that important, it gets forgotten or pushed aside.

This is where the writing comes into play. I often say my entire life is *have to*, stealing a line from the movie Parenthood. And it's true. I did go back to college because I wanted to, but in the large scheme of things, I have to get this degree if I want to give my daughter and myself any real quality of life. I work because I have to; mine is the only income we have. I drive to Knoxville sixteen times a year because the courts tell me I have to. I'm sure you see the pattern here.

But I write because I *want to*. Very unique situation that. Something I haven't done in a long time and I'm afraid forgotten how to do. You see, the writing keeps getting ignored or pushed aside for other things. Other things that seem more important but perhaps aren't. What if I've lost the ability to do something simply for the joy of doing it?

And the bigger question, how do I move the writing up on the list? How do I get my butt into that chair and let the writing come without thinking about that pile of clothes four feet to my left that is crying out to be washed? How do I tune everything else out and ignore the voice in my head saying I should really be scrubbing the bathtub?

I might have one way. I included writing expenses on my tax return and was told I have to make money from writing within the next three years or the IRS will come knocking to discuss the validity of these deductions. That's certainly motivating right there.

So, what do you do to find the focus? How do you block out the rest of the world, ignore all the chores and get words on the page? And don't tell me to sit down and do it. This isn't politics and I'm not looking for the sound bite answer. I'm desperate. I need real ideas. I'm hoping you guys can help me out.

PS: I'm dealing with a sick kiddo and I need to get her to the doctor, but I'll try to check in as much as possible. Another complication to throw me off BUT a day off work and opportunity to get some writing done. *sigh* I hope.

Hottie Crew Member of the Week

2008-03-02T06:00:00.002-06:00

In my duty of introducing to you our Hottie Crew Member of the Week, I often spend my Saturday evenings perusing pictures of very hot men. It's a grueling task but I do it because I'm dedicated to my fellow pirates and to this ship. And other than the fact I have nothing better to do on a Saturday night, it's just downright fun. Though I'm going to have to get some sort of cover for my keyboard to protect from the drool.

This week, however, no perusing was necessary. You see, our Captain and Quartermaster took in a movie and to say they went "ga ga" over a particular hottie is an understatement. Requests we bring this man aboard filled my inbox and even came with pictures. As if I don't know how to google. Hmmph.

What better way to delve deep into creating and developing the wonderful heroes in our books than to consult a sex-on-a-stick hottie who brings heroes to life and into our fantasies everyday? I give you, our Pirate Hero Consultant – Eric Bana.

Yes, this one gets two pictures. Isn't he just the cutest thing?! That is a face carved by the gods themselves. Perfection. And the rest of him ain't bad either. *elbow elbow*

Don't forget Romantic Suspense author Pamela Clare will be hopping on deck for a guest blogger day Wednesday, March 19. Pamela is an investigative reporter and writer of fast-paced, page-turning Romantic Suspense novels that will keep you on the edge of your seat and possibly creaming that seat from sheer male hotness. Her latest, Hard Evidence, is in stores now and April 1, Unlawful Contact will hit the shelves. Be sure to mark your calendar now!

I've added this bonus picture just because….well….look at it. Do you even have to ask? Don't forget to keep an eye out for when we unveil our newly revamped ship. We should be launching her in the next few weeks!

*Hellion hijacking Terri's blog* I want more pictures.

There that's better. Eric as Henry. *swoons, sighs*

Emotionally Speaking

2008-02-29T05:00:00.001-06:00

When I’m not sitting behind my keyboard, or helping my eight year old with vocabulary words, I most likely can be found in the operating room. Just like any of you, there are some things I enjoy about my job better than others. I chose nursing as a career for the same reason I want to be a writer. I love the emotional aspect of both professions. In nursing I love bonding with my patients in the preoperative area before I take them back to surgery. Most of the time my patients never remember who I am because they are sedated before they ever see me. It doesn’t matter to me that I’m usually never named on a patient survey as a nurse who delivered quality care. It’s rewarding enough to know that I reduced their anxiety before they drift off to sleep. A little gesture such as holding their hand, or telling them that I will be with them during the entire surgery is enough to alleviate a lot of the anxiety that they experience. I treat my patients the way I would want to be treated.

The same applies to my writing. I write what I like to read. I love books that include emotional scenes that grip the heart. I give the best of me to my readers. I love writing emotion and I want it to be evident in my writing. As writers we all deliver with pride, what we do best. It doesn’t matter if what we write well, is humor, suspense, erotica, or inspiration, we excel when we are in our element. In these moments the words flow, and you become one with the keyboard.

Movie directors use actors to create a scene that provokes the most emotion for viewers. With one touch, one expression, or one tear, they can tell the story without dialogue. As writers we don’t have the liberty of cinematography, but we do have the beauty of words. If we do our job well, we can produce just as much of an impact, and possibly more than a director on a movie set.

Even though I will never be a real movie director, in my world I direct my character’s actions on the page. I’m as happy as a pig in mud when I’m knee deep in emotion and angst. There’s something about creating a scene that can evoke emotion, and make your readers want to either throw the book across the room, or grab the nearest Kleenex. To me it gives the story substance, instead of a plain cheese pizza it’s like ordering a meaty supreme.

Here’s a slice of my pie…

He was everything in a man I didn’t need, but like a pair of designer shoes-he was addictive.

He took a step toward me and I totally expected him to kiss me, but he stopped a millimeter away from my lips.

“I’m not sleeping on the couch tonight. I want to keep an eye on the outside, in case you have a visitor.”

I nodded and willed him to step away before I made a fool of myself. I was tired of being strong. Tonight I needed his strength and he had more than enough to give. It didn’t matter if he was on the couch or in my bed.

I needed him.

I leaned forward and rested my forehead on his lips. His hands skimmed up my arms and into the hair at the base of my neck.

“You okay?” He asked.

I pulled away and looked into his steel blue eyes. “I’m good.”

He nodded, and walked away. He reached the door and turned to look at me. “Call me if there’s a problem.”

The door clicked shut behind him and I was alone. I didn’t know what scared me the most, the stalker getting to me, or starting to feel dependent on Maverick. I clicked off the lamp next to the couch, walked over to the window, and pulled the curtain back. I saw him slip inside his truck and flash his lights. I slowly stepped away from the window, and let the curtain trail through my fingers.

I swallowed the emotion lumped in my throat. For the first time in my life I felt vulnerable, and I didn’t like it. My life was compartmentalized and this was screwing with the system. I looked at the sheets tucked perfectly on the couch, topped with a pristine white pillow. I walked over and sat down, closed my eyes, and leaned my head back against the cushion. I inhaled and caught the clean, all male scent of Maverick on the sheets.

A tear slipped out of the corner of my eye, and I let it go.

Do you like writing or reading emotion the best? If you don’t like writing emotion, what do you feel you write well?

Why Writing Contests Are Like Foreplay

2008-02-27T22:34:00.004-06:00

I haven’t entered any contests yet, but I’ve been toying with the idea in the past week or so. Every time I look at RWA’s monthly newsletter, I find another contest that requires only the first 25 pages of your manuscript. They offer all kinds of enticements: valuable feedback, cash prizes, notoriety, and the possibility of having your work read by people in the business. And, the story doesn’t even have to be completed if you only send the beginning. I’ve got plenty of beginnings!

It sounds like writer’s heaven to me.

If you don’t win, it sounds like it could maybe leave you with feedback (maybe useful, maybe not), less money in your pocket, the same lack of exposure, and that horrible feeling of being a loser because now people in the business saw what you are left believing to be a giant pile of crap with your name all over it.

And, that my friends, sounds like writer’s hell.

That’s why contests remind me of foreplay. The nice dinner, the movie, and even some heavy petting, can still give no firm indication of what the feature presentation will hold in store. The package might look provocative, but that doesn’t guarantee a satisfactory end result.

Although, if I mention the fact that most contests cost money (in some cases a lot of money) and try to make that leap to my analogy, I flirt with prostitution parallels and well, that’s nowhere I wanna go. So, consider simile over.

I know that many people have gotten their start from contests. Requests for fulls or partials, even book deals from judges. There are also ways to polish up your work to make it contest ready. But, I’m not certain it fits my goals right now.

Any experienced wenches out there? (Boy that sounded dirty). What have you found to be the upsides and the downsides to contests? Any war stories/sage advice? If you’re not a writer, ever won anything good? (I won a Senseo coffeemaker once. They said I had to pay for shipping and handling though. I opted out. Hey, that hardly feels free to me.)

On the Road Again

2008-02-27T00:00:00.003-06:00

I tell you- there is nothing like a vacation in the winter. Take it from me. After four months of total crap weather, a girl needs to get away before she withers into winter’s deep dark depression.

I always get a little stir crazy come February. Tis true that I’m ruled by Jupiter and like to roam about the country a bit, but there is something about knowing spring is right around the corner. I’m showing the impatience of my zodiac sign.

So to curb this impatience, I just feed it some spring like weather and hightail it to Phoenix (Arizona) for a week every February. In the winter, I can understand why my family feels the need to live in the desert. Cold to them is 60 degrees in the sunshine. Cold to me is… well, like living in the Arctic Circle where it never stops snowing and never shows the sunshine.

This year I resolved to do a bit of work while motoring around the busy streets of Phoenix and the surrounding suburbs. I already know my way about. I know which streets to take, which ones to avoid. What areas are popular and what are not. I know where the best places to eat are. I know the highways. But do I really know the “heart” of this city I’d like to write a series? No. Not really at all.

I love to people watch. I love to experience a city just by wandering around casually and stumbling onto everything day life. Listen to the sounds. Smell the atmosphere. There is something that’s inspiring about a city you know nothing about. So for a couple of days instead of playing the vacationer, I played the resident. I did nothing but what my normal routine would be back home. I got up. Early. Slipped my glasses on and went in search of coffee (which I had to make). Took my coffee to the shower (but did NOT drink it in the shower. Gimme some credit wenches.) Did my normal top secret bathroom routine, which includes many layers of war paint. Turned on the TV in search of the local news to scope out the traffic and on which roads. Jotted down notes on scenes I could possibly see. Motored out to the rental and took a drive. I had to experience traffic. City traffic. (Gotta tell you Hellion, I think we’ve got them beat.) And went back to the house. This is where my routine gets a little screwy because I wasn’t working. But I was thinking about what my heroine would be doing. That was fun. Can’t tell you though, top secret and all that jazz.

At night, I’d go for a run in the neighborhood. Since I was staying with my grandmother, it was safe to be on the street at 8pm. I took in the palm trees framed by the twinkling stars in the vast desert skyline. The way the mountains were framed in the distance and the streetlamps gave them an eerie glow. The way the cold mountain breeze rustled through the orange tress. The smell of flowers blooming, fresh cut grass, dirty water rushing from lawns and into the street. There is something calming about the night here. Things are not rushed. It’s almost peaceful. Border line relaxing once the sun falls behind the mountain peaks. And then I knew, while running down a dark, quiet street with the streetlamp coming up on my right, the dry culvert running through the side street just ahead of me, that this was the right place to start my next series. The city is almost schizophrenic in its ability to completely make a 180 from sunrise to sunset. And that’s what makes a great city to write about. The ability to draw the reader in (even if you have to fudge a bit to get it quite right) it still has the outline to which you base every scene on.

So my question today: Have you ever traveled to check out a city you wanted to base your WIP from? Fictional or fact, it doesn’t matter. We all choose location for a reason, so what was your deciding factor? Readers, does it thrill you to read a book and know the city or does it do nothing for you?

Leslie Langtry the Assassin Boards the Romance Writer's Revenge

2008-02-26T06:00:00.002-06:00

Hellion: Hello, Leslie, and welcome aboard the Romance Writer’s Revenge. *much shouting and rambunctious cheering from grog-warmed crew and passengers; Hellion stun guns Sin who rushes up for an autograph* I said after the interview, Sin. I’m so sorry, Leslie, the ship has been abuzz since I’ve told them you agreed to this interview. This is a huge opportunity!

Leslie *not looking the least concerned*: Can I have some of that? *pointing to the grog*

Hellion: *handing her grog as she barrels on* I mean, when you said you’d answer any question, I suddenly realized I’d get to find out which of the Bombays did in JFK. I’m very curious who the shooter on the grassy knoll was. I’m hedging my bets that it was Virginia, since she was later picked off. So am I right? And are the Bombays primarily Republican or Democrat…or do they play the wild card and vote Independent? How will they be voting this November, you think?

Leslie: *blank-faced* Sorry. That information is classified. The Bombays made me take the blood oath too. As far as politics, they are split. Liv and Gin are obviously liberals. Dak is more or less apathetic, I'm afraid. Paris plays things close to the vest and all Carolina can think about is getting more grandchildren. If one of the parties introduces that as a platform - she's likely to vote for them.

Hellion: That Dak! *giggling, clearly crushing on a completely fictional character* Okay, now, I suppose we should probably explain what you write about to those who haven’t read your books yet. You write a mystery-romantic series of books about a family of assassins. The first one was about Gin Bombay, a mom just like you or the Boatswain, trying to make ends meet and get that monkey off her back by the name of Vivian the PTA Nazi—and oops, Gin happens to also be an assassin. Cue chaos and laughter. How did you come up with this series? And what’s been the most fun about writing this series so far?

Leslie: I was writing a completely different warped novel when I had a dream about the Bombays. The name Gin Bombay popped up and the whole family wouldn't shut up so I had to sit down and write about them. I think the bizarre situations are my favorite things to write. I love tormenting my characters. I guess I have a little pirate in me.

Hellion: *roguish look* Don’t we all? Do you find the cat-o-nines particularly effective on unwilling characters? No? Oh, sorry, pressing on. I’m particularly amused by the dating problems Gin had in the first book. It is Karma times ten when she meets the man of her dreams, and he happens to be the bodyguard of the guy she has to kill. I know you say repeatedly that none of this stuff is based off your real life; however, Gin manages a Girl Scout troop; and coincidentally, so do you. Gin lives in the Midwest; coincidentally, so do you. Gin is married to a hot Aussie-former bodyguard…tell the truth, you are too, aren’t you?

Leslie: You got me! It's true - I live in the Midwest, have a Girl Scout troop and am married to a Bodyguard. He's not Australian though. That would be pretty hot. I guess it's true you draw upon what you know and some of these situations may have actually happened (the part about the Girl Scout training is 100% accurate - right down to the video) but I am not training my girl scouts to be killers. Although it was funny that at a Pampered Chef party, the leader of the local boy scout troop said she was afraid of my girl scouts so maybe there's something there. *looks thoughtful, then hopeful* Is there a merit badge for piracy?

Hellion: Not yet, but we’re making some to distribute at conferences. Like a Jolly Roger with writing quills. *poked by Boatswain* Never mind. Are you going to RWA this year? Will you be doing a book signing? Do you do book signings in Missouri? Any plans to do so?

Leslie: Not a firm believer in transitions, are you?

Hellion: No, no, I’m very focused. Look, an undead monkey. *uses her gun to shoot monkey, which immediately bounds back to life and starts eating another banana*

Leslie: I LOVE undead monkeys! I will be in San Francisco for the book signing at RWA and I'm signing in Chicago at the Spring Fling conference. I don't have anything lined up in Missouri but that's just because I'm lazy.

Hellion: Damn, I knew I shouldn’t have changed my plans about the Spring Fling! I’ve got to start pirating more. *shakes head* Guns Will Keep Us Together hit the shelves just last month (and incidentally flew immediately into my cart and came home with me), and features Gin’s brother, Dakota Bombay, a complete and total hottie with great hair. I have to ask this very important question about Dak—which hair gel was discontinued that he misses so much? What is he using now?

Leslie: Well, Dak goes with the big ticket items. It's something he can only order off Sephora (which he probably wouldn't like me telling you). It was an extremely traumatic time in his life. I can't say what he uses now - but would be shamelessly open to endorsements (Hello, PRADA?).

Hellion: You really are a pirate. *laughs* It seemed in Gin’s book (and this may be totally wrong), but Gin seemed slightly less klutzy than Dak. Am I wrong in this assumption—do women make cleaner hitmen, you think? I remember thinking in the first book, Dak seemed so suave, so…smooth, but in reality, he’s rather (adorably) goofy.

Leslie: Of course, women are far more lethal than men. Look at the pirates Anne Bonney and Mary Read, who staved off an attack while Calico Jack and the others huddled below decks. History doesn't lie!

Hellion: Very true. And when he went to hang, she said, “If you had fought like a man, you wouldn’t have had to die like a dog.”

Leslie: I prove my point. As far as Dak, he looked so suave in ‘Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy because he was only a superficial character. Once he had his own book, we got to see him in an average setting - and everyone looks goofy in an average setting. I'd like to tell you I'm writing this while wearing haute couture but instead I'm wearing sock monkey jammies.

Hellion: *tsking* Looking the part of a pirate is very important. *hiding her I Love Jack Sparrow pjs beneath her coat* Never mind, moving on. Also in this book, you brought back a family favorite: Coney Island, the carny. Now this philosophical showman was funny in the first book, but he really brings something to this book. Okay, maybe that’s because you described him as a Daniel Craig and therefore every time he made it onto the page, I wanted to peel off an article of clothing, preferably his…but I was curious: will he be playing a more central part soon? Say his own book, where he gets to be all philosophical and hopefully occasionally naked? And more importantly, do you suppose I could have a role in that naked part? *jabbed in the ribs by the Boatswain* What? Have you seen Daniel Craig?

Leslie: Book 4 - which I'm currently working on - is all about the Conester. And yes, he's totally hot. As for the loofah scene, I think I'd be more partial to having you oil him up as a gladiator or something like that. Anyway, I'm having fun with it. He has a much dryer sense of humor than the other Bombays so I'm trying out two points of view in this book - the other being the heroine.

Hellion: Oil, loofah, I’m totally flexible—you don’t mind telling Coney that, do you? *poked yet again in the ribs by Boatswain* Right. Oh, yes, your third book in the series is about Missi, who has the fun task of creating toys for all the assassins. What’s her book going to be about? Can you tell us? And her sons are about to come of age where they will do their first kill, aren’t they? Will that play a part?

Leslie: Actually, the boys had their first professional kills at 15. Missi's book takes place on a cheap, Canadian rip-off of Survivor. The boys help her out, but are secondary characters. I imagine they will have their own book someday.

Hellion: That sounds fun! I am so excited about this book…and Coney’s book. Okay, okay, last question, and I’ll let you go back to that important task of writing Coney’s book…and putting in that scene where I get to loofah, oil, whatever him. *jabbed again* What? I am serious. Fine. What’s the single most important thing you think new writers should keep in mind when they’re trying to push through and finish their books?

Leslie: Just get it done. And if you don't like it - move on to the next book until you nail it. Gin's book was my fourth full manuscript and I learned a lot from the first three (but I'd rather walk the plank than ever see them in print) but I knew with Gin's book that this was it.

Hellion: *looks at crew* Look, she subscribes to the “As IF” mentality. Imagine that. *tries not to look smug, fails* Okay, okay, I’ll stop hogging the interview now. *trampled by Sin* Leslie, I think you’ve been an excellent interrogatee, um, guest pirate—and I suppose I should give my crew an opportunity to ask you some questions. Crew?

The Best Pirate Birthday Party EVER!!!!

2008-02-25T06:00:00.004-06:00

It's a day of celebration here on The Romance Writer's Revenge – we're raising our mugs and dropping streamers from the Crow's Nest in honor of our Captain's Birthday! And this isn't just any birthday, this is her 21st Birthday.

*silence falls over the ship as everyone turns to Boatswain in confusion*

Go with it, girls. She's not taking the age thing well and unless you want her screaming "GET OUT OF MY PERSONAL SPACE" you'll follow my lead. Yes, I've seen her scream this, it's not pretty.

Now, let's get this party started. *cues AC/DC music* No party worth it's Tequila salt would forget the food. All the Captain's favorites are on the menu.

The bar is always open on the top deck but today we've stocked it with plenty to go round. We have the scotch, the beer, and of course plenty of rum.

And we would never have a party without bringing out the Hotties. This one showed up in full black tie but he made the mistake of getting a little too close to the party girl. The poor fellow.

These Hotties are here to handle crowd control. I know a crowd like this would never do anything that would make these boys have to take you below decks for a little talking to.... *eye roll* Just don't hurt them, ok?

And we couldn't possibly have a party for the Captain without Jack. Ah, now here's a man that can shiver me timbers any day!

So gather round the decks, bring your presents, raise a toast and help us celebrate Captain Hellion's 21st Birthday!!!!

Hottie Crew Member of the Week

2008-02-23T23:48:00.004-06:00

I've been a bit under the weather for about two weeks which resulted in the food supplies here upon The Revenge running down to a box of saltines and a jar of Ragu. There's always plenty of rum but that’s still not enough to sustain the entire crew, especially since we keep adding these hotties and they keep barking for more protein. Anyhoo, this meant a trip to the pirate grocery store – or in other words – the Tortuga Wal-Mart.

Two important things happened while on this little excursion. First, I bought a couple pairs of jeans in a size LARGER than I've had to buy in about five years. Yes, very depressing. BUT, as if this wasn't bad enough, upon turning the corner out of the jeans section I come face to face with the most dreaded rack in the history of racks. Yes, even worse than THE racks back in the day. What I saw was…..bathing suits.

Oh yes, my friend, it's almost that time again. It may not seem like it what with temps in many places barely topping the zero mark and everyone either buried under snow or busting their asses on sheets of ice. I'm sure you can imagine my horror at having these two horrible events happen back to back. I started to panic, my breath grew thready (what the hell does that mean?) and I broke out in a cold sweat. What ever will I do?!?!

And then the answered came to me as if in a dream. (And if I'm lucky, he will come back to me in my dreams for days to come.) We need a trainer on this ship. Someone who will not only work our asses into shape but motivate and inspire us to push ourselves. To give it everything we have and then give it even more. To make us want to work out and sweat and use muscles many of us haven't used in years. I give you, Pirate Trainer Jake.

Now that I have your full attention, don't forget to be here Tuesday when Leslie Langtry hops aboard The Romance Writer's Revenge to talk about her latest book Guns Will Keep Us Together. This is the second book in her series centered around the Bombay Family. Let's just say this family believes the family who kills together stays together. Or they kill each other but we won't bring that up. Come along for one hilarious ride and find out everything you ever wanted to know about creating a family of assassins and writing some *killer* books about them.
Sorry, couldn't resist. Happy Sunday and try not to drool too much into your keyboard. I'll be booking private sessions with Jake all day so don't everyone rush the deck at one time, ok?

From the Eyes of a Romance Novel

2008-02-22T05:00:00.003-06:00

I blinked my eyes as the light blinded me. I smiled when I realized what this meant. I was next on the shelf; the books on top of me had finally found a happy home, now it was my place to turn on the charm. I batted my eyelashes, and looked around the store. People were milling about, picking up fellow books and glancing at their pages. My heart ached as I observed the rejected expression on a little book down the shelf from me. Book Lookers, as we call them, have no idea of the self-esteem issues they provoke. One caress of our cover, one flip of our pages, can raise our hopes only to be dashed a few moments later when they place us back on the shelf. I don’t even want to discuss the psychological ramifications of being misplaced on the shelf.

I glanced toward the entrance, watching the crowd file by one by one on their way to the lingerie store next door. If they would read pages 157-161, they would get a beautiful lesson on how the lack of lingerie can benefit the single woman. Remembering the intimate scene made my cover sweat. I blew out a breath wishing I had arms to fan myself. My author had out done herself this time. Her heroine and hero were perfectly matched, sure, they fought tooth and nail to avoid their attraction, but their love was undeniable. What reader doesn’t love angst and a huge happily ever after?

I saw a young woman make a beeline into the store, heading straight for me. I held my breath as she scanned the shelves. Her eyes lit up when she saw me, and it took everything I had not to ruffle my pages when she picked me off the shelf. I could see the excitement in her eyes when she turned me over and read the back of my cover. She sighed and I wanted to wet my binder. She carried me over to the check out counter, and handed me to the clerk.

“Oh you’re going to love this one. I think this is her best book yet.” Of course I am, was there any question?

“I can’t wait to read it. I’ve heard once you start it you can’t put it down.” Now wait a minute, I belong to the book union and I’m entitled to my breaks, especially after you read pages 157-161. Can you say cigarette?

The clerk placed me in a bag, and I was in total darkness once again. After a long dull ride in the sack, I was once again resurrected. My new owner, I’m going to call her Alice, took me out of the bag and placed me on a table near her bed. She promptly walked out of the room, and left me destitute and unread. How could this be? I’m a best seller. I wallowed in my disappointment, craving for my pages to be turned.

I don’t know how much time had passed when I felt myself floating through the air. I opened one eye and saw Alice climbing into bed with me in her hand. Yippee! It’s my time to shine. She opened my cover and began to read. She proved to be an interesting reader. She smiled and giggled in all the appropriate places, but something really bothered me about her. She made the cardinal sin of eating while reading. I was appalled by this behavior. I didn’t want my lovely pages marred with the grease from her fingertips. It wasn’t a pretty sight, from my vantage point. Every time she turned a page she stuffed a massive hand of popcorn in her mouth, does this mean there’s a movie deal in my future?

When she reached page 157, sweat beaded on her upper lip. She pushed her hair off her forehead and clamped her knees together. She reached for her phone on the nightstand and hit speed dial. Someone must have answered because she began to speak.

“Hi Baby, whatcha wearing?” Oh hell no.

She giggled and dog-eared one of my pages before she closed me. She had just committed the second cardinal sin. Never do you dog-ear a page in a book; it’s a slap in the cover. Then I witnessed a blatant display of plagiarism. She recited verbatim what she wanted to do to her phone friend just as it was written on my pages.

“Oh baby it would feel so good.” Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall… ninety-nine bottles of beer.

Finally, she hung up the phone and picked me up. She read me for four hours straight and finally finished me. When she closed my cover, she sighed and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. I made water works! She lovingly placed me on the nightstand and flipped out the light.

“You are the best book I’ve ever read.”

I felt my pages swell with pride. It was so obvious, I had her from the moment she touched my cover.

Can you tell I had no idea what to blog about? What are some of your favorite books that made you sigh when you closed the cover? Do you ever dog-ear your book pages?

To Goal or Not to Goal, That is the Question…

2008-02-21T05:30:00.000-06:00

Though I am sure to be met with much chagrin from my pantsing comrades here aboard the boat, I have devised a goal spreadsheet of sort. A kind of time line in which I determine where I should be in my writing and how many pages I want to write a week, then how long total it should take me to write my book and sort of a tentative completion date.

May 25. That’s my completion date.

I see that you’re skeptical. If you think you’re skeptical, let me clue you in on the little conversation I had with myself over this date.

*GM cues the lights and allows her multiple personalities free rein aboard a makeshift stage on deck*

Little bitty voice: Whoooaa… huh? May 25 is really close. That’s, like, before the summer and stuff.

Calming voice: Yes, little panicky voice, that is before the summer and stuff.

Little voice escalating and becoming laced with hysteria: Well, how do you perceive we’re going to manage that?!

Calm voice again: Well, just like everything else happens, you naggy whiner. One bit at a time. It’s all mapped out here.

Little voice, now a loud obnoxious voice: Oh! I see how you are! You think this spreadsheet, with its color coding and pretty mathematical calculations, is going to help you in those moments of writer’s block sure to come?!

Calming voice, with a sigh: Um, no, I realize this is just a spreadsheet, nitpicky pain in my ass. I do know I will have to write the book myself.

*The lights return to normal and GM gives a sheepish shrug.*

I’ll spare you this part. Just imagine the amount of skirmish that would ensue if someone told the pirates on the RWR there would be no more rum. Ever. Yeah, it wasn’t pretty.

For some reason, the idea of a timeline frightens many and that includes me. Somehow, setting such goals/deadlines is more frightening than tackling the herculean task of writing a novel one page at a time with no definitive end in sight. Why is that?

I think it’s because if I miss the deadline, I could feel bad about it and lose momentum. This would jumpstart a downward spiral of declining self-esteem and loss of motivation, resulting in the imminent death of my WIP, perhaps even my writing in general. *panting in drama queen fashion*

I have thought of this, trust me.

However, I’m a procrastinator. If I don’t have deadlines, I’ll put stuff off until I can’t put it off anymore. Therefore, because no one is standing over me, expecting my completed manuscript, it gets set aside. “I’ll do it later,” I say. “I’ll work through that hard scene tomorrow,” I hedge.

Recently I realized that this was making me angry with myself. I’ve found out that I’m now that someone standing over me, expecting my completed manuscript. And the longer I put me off, the worse I feel about it.

Now, that isn’t to say that my date won’t get pushed back again. Originally, I’d set a goal to have my WIP finished by February. However, that was before changing it from a straight-up Regency to a paranormal Regency. I had to adjust. I assume that there may be more adjustments in the future. Vacations, family illnesses, etc. But, a little more accountability never hurt anyone. Or at least an attempt at accountability.

As the captain is so fond to say: this isn’t a rule, it’s more of a guideline.

How about it, wenches and pirates? How do you feel about goals/timelines/deadlines and the like? If you hate them, why?

When One Just Isn't Enough

2008-02-20T00:26:00.006-06:00

Sometimes it’s just a longing. A brief moment that makes all of time stand still. The way you know when to exactly look across the room. The way he makes you feel when you feel the heat of his eyes travel the length of you, going slowly from staring into your eyes all the wall down to your toes and making their way back up until he’s looking into your eyes and imagining you naked beneath his touch.

It’s the way every nerve comes alive when he walks into the room. The way your body reacts when you feel him standing behind you. Close enough to touch. Close enough to feel him. The way your next breath catches when his fingers come into contact with your skin. The warm touch of his breath along the back of your neck. The way your heart beats triple time at the thought of him kissing you. Tasting you. Backing you against the nearest wall and sliding your skirt up. The way his fingers would dance along your inner thigh. The way he would feel hard against you. Nothing but you and him. Anyway you could have him. It’s all you can think about. Your hands gliding along the smooth

But then you blink and tear your eyes away from his. Strong hands slide up your forearms. Possessing you. Marking you as his territory. You glance up and you see the look. Hero 1 knows you lust. Lusting not only for him, but for another man. He’s powerless to stop you. Wanting you to be his one and only, but you always manage to stay one step ahead of him. You touch his arm lightly. You smile up into his eyes. But the other man is within your sight, standing so when you glance over Hero 1’s shoulder, Unlikely Hero 2’s waiting. Watching you. The heat. The magnetism. The tension.

How can you have it with both men and have two totally different feelings?

He leans down to brush his lips lightly against your temple. There is just the brief skittering of butterflies low in your belly. The faint rushing of feelings that used to be so strong, but now have started to flicker like a flame that isn’t fed. There is still that tie holding you two together. But this case of lust has built itself into spontaneous combustion. It’s consumed you. When you lay your head down at night, you dream of him. Touching you. Caressing you. His mouth on yours. His hand between your thighs. The way your toes curl. The way he groans your name. The way dominates you, makes you feel again. Makes you remember that feeling. The rush. The explosion. The way his arms hold you tight. The way his fingers feel running through your hair. His lips soft and tender against your forehead.

And it all just started with a look.

It’s when you’re in the shower and the water cascades over you. It’s his fingers dancing over your skin. His mouth soft at first. Becoming more urgent. Demanding. The way the steam sucks the air from your lungs, just like the feeling you get when he’s near you. The way you can’t think. You open your mouth but the words never come to you. The way it feels so wrong, but so right. You’d do anything to be in his arms for another hour. Another minute. Another second. You can’t get enough of him. And each time he’s feeding the flame. It’s white hot between the two of you. Nothing can stop you from getting what you want.

Except for the other hero. Then it becomes a major conflict. You may not be a couple, but there is something there. Something that begs for a chance. A feeling you can’t quite figure out if you want to take a giant leap of faith on. Sacrifice and Trust. A give and a take. Is it worth it? Do you dare? Can you take that risk on just one person?

My heroine is hard to figure out. I think I might tapped into her inner struggle a little deeper. Maybe figured out a thing or two about how to make her tick. I don’t want to say I’ve got her all completely wrapped around my pinkie because she resents those remarks.

My heroine is relationship challenged. If someone gets close to her, she backs away from them. So it was only logical that I bring another hero into the mix. Someone that she was close to in another life. The life she had before her sister was murdered. Then she found another person in which she could trust. There is a balance for her trusting abilities. She picks and chooses the details from her life that she wants those closest to her to know.

So then it was only fair that once those two are established, I bring into someone else. That someone else is eventually supposed to take the place of her roommate.

But it’s not working out so well for me. At least not yet. They can’t stand each other. But I imagine by mid-book two or three they will find a common ground. After all, they have to work together. But it’s the chemistry between the two of them that will set up for the explosion. The first look. That first look of sexual tension between them. You build it up and build it up and then your hero fights you on it. Then the hero that was supposed to just be a friend, inserts himself right centrally into the integral plot line. And yet, the third hero waits on the wings of book one, watching, waiting, biding his time. He messes up. She messes up. They’ve made mistakes before. And it was together. But roomie hero won’t give up. He is the look from across the room. The look that makes you question everything you thought you knew about yourself. And just behind him, there is the work hero. Watching her. Studying her. Sizing her up. Realizing there is something more behind all the anger. Realizing there is that pull between them. He wants to walk away. But something is holding him back.

And there she is- the heroine. Looking up into the eyes of the guy she wanted with all her soul as a teenager. Finally having the chance at him and almost wanting to let it go. But she can’t. He’s her last tie. The very last thing holding her to her past. How can she let him go? She can’t quite yet. Even though she’s looking over his shoulder. The future uncertain. Her feelings all jumbled. The attraction between her and three men… it’s just overpowering. And intoxicating. Frightening.

Question of the Day: It’s not often that we write our heroines with two or more heroes. And aim for them to stick it out with the two or more heroes. So at one point do they become more than a mere plot device? When you do make them become an actual option for the heroine to choose? How do you sort it out? And if you’re a reader, do you like the more than one hero option? What turns you off the most?

PS. I'm on vacation this week and the wenches are graciously covering for me in the comments. I will try to comment later on in the day. I look forward to what you have to say!

Into the Inferno: Where Are We Going, and Why Are We In This Handbasket?

2008-02-19T00:00:00.006-06:00

What with Lent upon us, I thought maybe we should focus on the things we should repent and do no more.

Much like the way to hell is paved with good intentions, so is the way to finishing your novel. You write up the character sketches, you answer numerous questions, and you even make a half-hearted attempt at an outline (i.e. plot.) But are you writing?

No.

You’re thinking about writing. You’re playing and practicing, but you’re not actually writing. You’re showing up for church and tossing your pennies into the collection plate, but the rest of the week, you’re drinking with the damned. (Because that’s what all writers do, of course, drink. It says so right at the very bottom of this blog with the rules.)

You circle and circle, and soon you find you’ve arrived at Hell. Welcome. Dante’s holding up that familiar sign of: Abandon all hope ye who enter here. He laughs as you point to your notebook with your notes and outlines and plans. It doesn’t matter. You’re fully fettered into Writer’s Hell, my friend, and one or more of these grievous sins is probably what landed you here.

Circle 1: Limbo. You landed here because you didn’t know any better. Not an excuse—you’re still in hell. Read up on craft and read up on your genre—and read up period. Reading will by virtue make you a better writer. You won’t be able to help yourself.

Circle 2: Lust. Your lack of commitment because everything looks like it’d be fun to write leaves you clacking about aimlessly. Saddle a horse and ride it already. A stable of thoroughbreds isn’t going to do you any good if you don’t ride one across the finish line once in a while.

Circle 3: Gluttony. You think you need more and more research books and websites and historical tidbits and facts. If you use 1/100^th of all the stuff you’ve researched, you’d have a tome to rival War and Peace. There is such thing as too much research. After a point, you’re doing it to avoid writing and we all know it.

Circle 4: Greed. Stop hoarding. Don’t save it for your next book—this book deserves all you have to give it, and frankly, you might not get a next book if you don’t make this one worth reading. And while you’re at it, help fellow writers around you. If you have a skill, share it. If you find something that was of use to you, share it with the community. The next Julie Garwood will remember you.

Circle 5: Anger & Sloth. Don’t hate them because they’re published; and don’t think writing is about eating bon-bons and substituting hair and eye color for the same old book. (All romances are the same, right? Wrong.) Writing is work; it’s why so few people actually do it. Stop being cranky and get off the couch and write it already.

Circle 6: Heresy. Don’t betray your reader’s trust. Don’t promise them a Happily Ever After, then kill off one of your protagonists or have them end up divorced, on welfare, selling their kids for crack. Sure, it probably exists in the world, but it’s not why the reader picked up your romance novel. Genre fiction makes a promise: the good guys get rewarded for their virtue; bad guys get their comeuppance; the puppy is saved from the burning building. Don’t betray the trust.

Circle 7: Suicides. This is the circle where self-destructive people live. What are the big sins here? Giving up, deleting your stories/chapters because you don’t like them, and trashing other writers to make yourself look better. Exactly what’s the benefit of doing any of these things?

Circle 8: Liars. Liar, liar, pants on fire. We’ve already established the reader trust. This one is: Don’t lie to yourself. It just starts a vicious circle. And lying to the editor you can finish something in X amount of time, when clearly you’ve never finished anything, not even pie, in that amount of time only gives you an overwhelming sense of failure—and leads you to the 7^th Circle. You run a marathon by training for it, not by just signing up to do it and showing up on race day.

Circle 9: Betrayers. Traitors still get executed. You’ll notice the trend about hating those who betray us, and in the deepest circle of writing hell resides those who betrayed us the deepest: those who sell out and write “jets of warmth pooled between her flaming thighs.” Seriously, the only reason the fire department will be coming to my house for this line is because I set that book on fire in my front yard! Shoot for some originality, guys. Don’t think just because a hundred books before you have jetting pools of warmth, you should do so too so you can get the big money. You might, by some miracle, get published, but it won’t get you respect. Don't give us the cliche--offer us something unique, something that touches us. Give us the Awe Factor. (You won't be doing that with "His eyes were glued to her nipples." So don't even bother with that one. Find something else.)

So what have you given up for Lent? I'm giving up circle 7 and circle 2. (I always have a problem with LUST. Damn.) Any circles that should be added to the list?

Pirate Turned Hooker

2008-02-18T06:00:00.003-06:00

I'm not what you would call a fisherwoman but I have been before and there are times, when floating about on this pirate ship looking for anything to do to avoid writing, that I've dropped a line or two. Unfortunately, I've never caught a thing. (Remind me to pick a fishing guide hottie one of these weeks.) In analyzing why I fail to get any bites, I realize it might have something to do with my hook. Maybe the lack of a hook or I'm putting the hook in the wrong place. Fishing is a precise science, believe it or not, and just throwing any old line into the water won't get you very far.

Writing is the exact same way. You not only have to have a hook, you have to have the hook in the right place. You bury that hook in chapter three and you might as well forget it. Needless to say, I've learned this the hard way and I'm still learning it. In desperately searching for a topic for this blog, I found a series of articles called Romance writing: Tips for crafting that crucial first chapter and learned a great deal by reading Hook Them In and Keep Them There by Wendy Mackrell. What I learned is that putting the hook on page twenty or even on page five is not a good idea.

For the benefit of my point (which I somehow never seem to make in these blogs) I'm going to use my WIP as a guinea pig to show you how starting with the hook can make a difference in so many ways. Here's my opening right now…

"The universe is conspiring against me. It's trying to drive me crazy. Lucky for the universe, it's a short trip."
"I thought I was the drama queen."
"I'm not being dramatic, Miranda, it’s the truth. I’m resigned to my fate." Celi Cooper switched the cell phone to her right ear, gave a quick glance over her left shoulder and changed lanes. "Everything went wrong today. I'm sure a giant boulder will fall out of the sky at any minute. Right on my car."
"Tempting fate with that one, aren't you?" Miranda joked. Celi didn’t mind Miranda finding humor in her bad day. If it were anyone else’s life, she’d be laughing too.
"You want to know how my morning started?" Celi didn't wait for Miranda to answer. "Fatal Error. Those are the words that greeted me on my monitor this morning."
"Nice. Makes me feel better my scissors can’t talk to me." Miranda said, "Put your head down, hon" to the customer in her chair.
"I shouldn’t be bothering you while you’re working." Celi glanced to the rearview mirror and saw shades of pink, red and blue in the sunset behind her. She hoped to catch that same sunset on film over the weekend. "How much longer until you’re off?"
"Another hour."
Miranda spoke to her client again. "I need to find that gel of mine and I'll be right back." In a muffled voice she said to Celi, "If these heifers do not stop taking my shit, I'm going off."
Celi made the turn into her apartment complex. The management office looked squat between the taller apartment buildings but welcoming with its manicured shrubs and bright flower beds of fuchsia, yellow and violet. "I'm home so I’ll let you
go."
"I want to hear the rest of this bad day story. I’ll drop my stuff in my apartment and head upstairs when I get home. I don’t suppose you’ve eaten?" Celi figured Miranda wasn't talking to her anymore when she said, "I find my stuff on your station again and you're going to find that damn brush where the hair dryer don't blow. You hear me?"
Celi smiled for the first time in hours. Maybe the entire day. "No, I haven’t had time
to eat, but I’ll find something. You get back to work and remember someday you’ll have your own salon and those heifers will be long gone."
"Why is it you can be positive for me and not yourself?"
Celi parked across from her building, turned off the engine and laid her head back on the seat. With eyes closed she said, "Positivity is not what I need. A hot bath is what I need."
"Laid is what you need." Miranda believed sex to be the ultimate cure. "You pick one of the guys on the softball team tomorrow. We'll cut him from the herd at the bar afterward and get you in a better mood."

The only thing I've managed to do here is introduce a whiny heroine who has a funny and upbeat best friend who wants to get her laid and in this bit steels the scene completely. I also imply to the reader that the hero might be the guy they cut from the herd. I assure you, he's not. So, here's the changes I've made to move the hook forward…

"The universe is conspiring against me. It's trying to drive me crazy. It's working."
"I thought I was the drama queen."
"I'm not being dramatic, Miranda, it’s the truth." Celi Cooper switched the cell phone to her right ear, ventured a quick glance into her rearview mirror, and changed lanes. "You want to know how my morning started? FATAL ERROR. Those are the words that greeted me on my monitor this morning."
"Makes me feel better my scissors can’t talk to me." Miranda said, "Put your head down, hon" to the customer in her chair.
"I shouldn’t be bothering you while you’re working. How much longer until you’re off?"
"Another hour."
Celi made the turn into her apartment complex. "I'll stop whining and let you go then."
"You're not whining, you're venting. Totally different." Miranda DiCarlo had been Celi's best friend for nearly five years and her loyalty unshakable. "I want to hear the rest of this bad day story. I’ll drop my stuff in my apartment and head upstairs when I get home."
"Alright, I’ll see you then."
Celi flipped the cell shut and dropped it into the top of her purse. The complex mailboxes set directly across from her unit and a quick check of her box revealed several bills, three credit card offers she'd never open and her latest copy of Photography Today. Tucking the envelopes beneath her arm, Celi slid her key ring on her pinky then flipped through the magazine as she crossed the lot.
Head down, Celi failed to see the black Eclipse coming up fast on her right until it was almost too late. Diving for her life she hit the ground with a thud, landing hardest on her left side and coming to a stop flat on her back.
Afraid to move, Celi remained as still as possible while attempting to catch her breath. Eyes closed, hip throbbing and knee burning, she heard a car door then foot
steps rapidly approaching. With any luck, they were coming to put her out of her misery.

What do you think? I've managed to move the hook from page seven to page two. And all of that conversation (there's even more before we get to the good stuff) can easily slide right back in later. So what have we learned? When determining where to start your story, you need to do two things - A) find your hook and B) get it in as soon as possible.

How about you? Are you pulling out your hair trying to figure out where in the hell your story starts? Do you have ten pages of back story before any of your character's speak? Are you ready to throw something at me for rambling on with no point whatsoever? And if you're a reader, are you willing to stick around for five or ten pages to get to why you should care to read a book in the first place or do you give up much earlier than that?

PS: I'm going to be away from the computer most of the day but I'll check back in as soon as I can!

Hottie Crew Member of the Week

2008-02-17T09:00:00.004-06:00

As pirate ships go, the Romance Writer's Revenge is not exactly the fanciest vessel skimming the waves. Truth be told, we picked her up cheap when we decided to take this journey and she needs a little work. So we've been working on some major remodeling plans here lately. In order to get the plans just right, we've had to move things around and see what we like. This means shifting cannons from here to there, re-arranging stacks of barrels and experimenting with ball stacking. (get yer minds out the gutter! Ah hell, who'm I kidding? Gutter away…)

All of this re-arranging requires major heavy lifting which required adding a bit of muscle to the crew. Someone who was willing to get a bit *dirty*. Lucky for us, we found this lovely hottie.

Meet Max the Mover. Isn't he just delicious? And the best part is, we each get to take turns giving him a bath at the end of the day. He does work so hard and gets so grimy. It's important that we get all the dirt, front and back, top to bottom, underneath where bits of dirt could be hiding. I assure you, we're very thorough. And we keep Max very happy.

Now, this is where I could tell you what to expect this week on the ship. But, well, pirates aren't much for planning so I haven't a clue where we'll be headed. But I can guarantee you all balls on this ship will be spit polished to a lovely shine. And we might even clean up the ammunition as well. *w*

Oh, and keep your eyes peeled for our new digs in the coming weeks. The Romance Writer's Revenge is going to be the purtiest ship you ever did see!

There’s a Dirty Girl in All of Us

2008-02-15T05:00:00.008-06:00

When I think back to the first time I channeled my inner dirty girl I was in high school. Yeah, so I was a late bloomer. I remember reading Judy Blume’s Forever. If you never experienced this young adult romance, you missed some great reading. I had every sex scene ear marked so I could reread them at my leisure. I searched the shelves at my local bookstore looking for more of the same. I discovered Judy Blume was the pioneer of young adult soft erotica. That was my earliest memory of a book marketing strategy. The teenage girls in the United States deserved more young adult erotic romance novels. At least a hundred junior high girls read my copy of Forever. I was determined to graduate and become the next Judy Blume, it didn’t happen, but at least I’m a lot closer today than I was 25 years ago.

I wasn’t enlightened about the sexual act until I was twelve. A female cousin pulled me aside at a slumber party and said I was a total embarrassment; I had a ten-minute Cliff Notes version of The Joy of Sex. I can remember thinking it was the most disgusting thing I had ever heard. I turned thirteen two months later, and a miraculous change took place; I started to look at boys differently. Within a two month time frame boys changed from the biggest idiots on the planet, to something worth my time. Almost overnight, my view of an erection went from disgusting to entertaining. Now that’s progress.

As early as my adolescent years, I can remember channeling my inner dirty girl and writing sex scenes in my mind. I was always a well-behaved teenager, I wasn’t promiscuous, but I loved to flirt with the opposite sex. I was never a tease, but I always liked to leave all my male counter parts wanting a little more. That didn't change when I got married. I admit I've channeled my dirty girl behind closed doors. I've swung on a few ceiling fans in my time, and played out a few role play fantasies. However, if compared with a few wenches aboard this ship, my escapades would pale in comparison. But we'll leave that blog topic for another day.*g*

One of my favorite things in character development is developing their physical characteristics. It's important to know your characters on an emotional level, but relating to and describing them well physically, can increase the sexual attraction of that character tenfold. It's the subtle or differentiating characteristics that count the most. Use those to your advantage, throw in some vivid description and emotionally grounded characteristics and you have yourself a character that will stay with the reader long after the book is closed. When developing the physical appearances of your characters, ask yourself what physical characteristics appeal to you about a character when you read a book. Take your dirty girl for a walk, I guarantee she can help you create a hero that will leave a lasting impression.

Have you coined the term sexual dance? It’s the long drawn out foreplay before you get to the act. I have a naughty co-worker who has a wonderful relationship with her DH. They have a great sex life because they work at making it exciting. We were working on Monday morning when she received a phone call. Her husband had opened his brief case in a meeting that morning and discovered she had hidden a pair of her thong panties inside as a surprise. Now how’s that for beginning a sexual dance?

We write scenes everyday that introduces sexual tension between our characters. I use the five senses when creating a scene to build sexual tension. I always try to incorporate taste, touch, smell, sight, and feel in every scene. It makes it real, and pulls the reader into the scene with the characters. We build each scene like a puzzle until we are down to the final piece that bridges together the culmination of all the sexual tension. That scene more than likely includes a bed…or does it? Here’s where you can get your freak on. You can bypass the bed for the stairs, the shower, the kitchen counter…well you get my point. Let the dirty girl out to play and in the process take care of some sexual frustration of your own. We’ve often blogged about our writing being therapy. This is just one more way of using our personal character to personalize our fictional characters.

Even if we don’t include sex in our WIP, we still have to create physical attraction, and sexual chemistry. Maybe you don’t feel the need to channel anything to write the sexual dance between your characters, but a part of us has to contribute a sexual element to our writing voice.

Judy Blume celebrated her 70th birthday a few weeks ago. I would like to wish her a happy belated birthday. Thank you Judy for helping me discover my inner dirty girl. Forever rock on!

Do you have an inner dirty girl, if so do you call her out to play when you write?

Happy Valentine's Day: Show, Don't Tell

2008-02-14T05:30:00.003-06:00

It’s the day of love. Cupids abound, hearts of every shade of pink and red, and people buying their special ones loads of chocolate in an attempt to prove their love through excessive caloric offerings. Those out there with no one to buy them chocolate do it for themselves – or should – resulting in the majority of us being edgy and sleepless this evening from too much sugar and caffeine. Harness that energy as you will, dear wenches.

There are mixed emotions about Valentine’s Day. Not just among the population at large, but here on the boat as well. The range of course runs from “awh, it’s sweet” to “if I have to see one more red paper heart I’ll stab my eyes out.” (Feel free to try and figure out where each of the pirates fall on that continuum. Could be entertaining for all of us.) *g*

My husband despises Valentine’s Day, claims that if you love someone that you shouldn’t need the day exploited by Hallmark to “prove” it to them. This might sound like he’s just trying to get out of buying me a gift, but this is the same guy who never let me run out of my favorite ice cream while 8 months pregnant (Turkey Hill Mint Choco Chip), remembers to scrape my car off if it’s snowing, does the vacuuming and laundry (though admittedly doesn’t fold well), and has scaled back on his snoozes from 6 to 1 – on most days – because he knows I sleep so lightly. So, while he makes a fuss and boycotts Valentine’s Day, I let him happily, knowing that he’ll do plenty of things all year long that show me he loves me best.

*A skirmish breaks out aboard the ship as pirates equal parts retch and threaten to throw their gunner overboard. Gunner Marnee attempts to hold them at bay, tossing the crew a bag of truffles and a fifth of rum as a distraction.*

Gimme a second wenches! I swear I’m not trying to touch any nerves today. *The testy pirates settle into the chocolate and liquor, placated for now but casting suspicious glances in GM’s direction.* Let me just get to the point. *Captain Hellion, mouth full of chocolate, gestures a grudging go-ahead with her pistol.*

*GM continues quickly before they change their minds.*

One of the reasons so many hate Valentine’s Day is because it can tend to feel fake. Grand gestures one day that aren’t supported by the day before or the day after and plenty of empty words.

This is a huge case of show don’t tell if I’ve ever seen it.

When heroes, or heroines for that matter, act uncharacteristically in novels, our mind and our hearts rebel against them. For example, we mentioned yesterday that we doubt the happy ending when a hero and heroine who fight the entire book have a miraculous make up at the end. Without enough support, enough characterization, we don’t believe it –just like at Valentine’s Day.

Characterization has to be built in the little things characters do quietly, even when no one else is watching. We can believe a rough-around-the-edges man with a soft spot for a stray dog would develop a similar soft spot for our heroine. We can believe a tortured widower who’s afraid to love again, but is tender and loving to his children can eventually find room in his heart for our heroine. Because if we build their characteristics appropriately, their grand profession of love isn’t a stand-alone moment; it’s the culmination of many smaller moments.

Just like Valentine’s Day’s grand gesture should be a culmination of a year’s worth of small loving gestures.

So, wenches, what authors do this creation of character through small acts well? Any practical ways to help build characters? How does everyone else feel about V-Day? Any big plans today?

The Thin Line Between Hatred and Lust

2008-02-13T00:48:00.003-06:00

There are constant reminders all around that tomorrow is Valentine’s day. A day retailers around the nation have groomed into being a whole day dedicated to being about love and the love of those closest to your heart. Though it’s nothing but a ploy to get you to spend exorbitant amounts of money on stuff all in the name of said love, people jump on the bandwagon like they’ve just said we’re headed west looking for gold and rainbows.

Love is meant to be celebrated every day of the year through gestures that come from the heart and can be enjoyed together no matter what day it is on the calendar. If you truly loved someone, you would show them everyday how much they meant to you.

But let’s not get me started on my soapbox this morning. I just redecorated it, and the black paint is still wet. Not to mention my rhinestone crown isn’t set yet. But the black feather boa looks nice.

Today, even though I wanted to talk about how much I despise V-day, I’m going to take the high road and talk about passion in your writing. Not just for love scenes, I’m talking throughout the entire novel. Packing that emotional punch each paragraph. Each page. Each chapter and ultimately to the HEA ending.

During the course of writing an original, you run into wild emotions. Emotions that you haven’t thought much of before you get to them, emotions that you could bank on when you started out to sea. Sometimes it comes on slowly, building up and letting the reader know just what to expect. And sometimes, well the emotion just seems to blow up. It’s explosive. It’s hot. It’s tantalizing and it’s uninhibited. It’s just the type of emotion that makes your heart thump like a drum. Your blood to heat up like molten lava. Your body lights up like a Christmas tree. You go from fighting to having sex in point zero seconds.

Now that’s what I love about writing.

Writing emotion is much like living it. Our character live through our direction. They act out mini fantasies and move through life with a passion for everything that they do. No matter if they absolutely hate what they are about to do, there’s a certain underlying passion about they way they hate. And that’s all because of the emotional impact you make through your character.

Passion is a very strong emotion. Passion can put you in several different places throughout your life. You can be passionate about something and there could be passion between you and another. Even if you’re arguing, on the border of hating, there’s passion behind every word, behind every emotional pull between the two of you. Between your hero and heroine even what’s lying just below the surface of a fight is passion for one another. Passion for the argument. Passion for the heat between them. Using the fight to pit their will against each other, getting their blood heated, their hearts pounding. It’s all the lead into the desire you’re showing and that the reader is starting to feel.

You have to have passion between your characters to make them work. Otherwise, it’s a weak and boring read that gets sat down 75 pages into the book and only glanced at once a year before they haul it off to the used bookstore for something better. Even if that passion isn’t sexual, passion makes a character stand out. Makes your reader remember your story and come back for more even after the last page is turned.

Passion can make you do stupid thing. And can make you do remarkable things in the heat of the moment. And passion is the reason behind every good love story. Ultimately there is passion in love. And there is passion in hate. Blurring the lines between the two can be a very tricky maneuver.

The easiest way for me to blur the lines is for the fight to be something that happened in the past. Something neither of them has gotten over. Something that needs to be dealt with before they can move on. But they never get that far. There’s always lust bubbling underneath the surface of their fight. It only takes one look for someone to take control and push them against the nearest wall and well… you know what happens next. It doesn’t make the fight go away but the aggression between them hovers back down at the simmering point. You get one thing out of the way and then they can think semi-rationally and have a chance at working it out.

Though, I could argue that love isn’t rational. Neither is lust. Nor is any emotion. But that’s all another blog for another day.

So I suppose my question of the day is: What do you do to amp up the passion between your characters? Any tips? Advice? Picture manuals?

Or if you don’t like that question, how about: What is passion to you?

Kim, You Are a Winner!

2008-02-12T15:00:00.000-06:00

Come on down....

*theme music from the Price is Right*

You are the Prize Winner from Colleen Gleason's book giveaway. Please email me (mshellion@gmail.com) and I'll forward your information to Colleen Gleason.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

International Man of Mystery: The Alpha Male

2008-02-12T08:30:00.000-06:00

In truly unpirate-form, we parlayed about what we’d be blogging about this week, This Week of Love. (Since when do pirates plan?) And I committed myself to writing about great romantic gestures, the kind that makes us fall in love with the hero even though he doesn’t say “I love you.”

I know, the topic bored me too.

And then I was reading this lovely article about my beloved Jack (no, not mine), and this highly educated lady laid out the simple formula to me: about what makes any romantic hero sexy.

What, what? you ask.

“It’s a mystery.”

No, no, don’t leave in a huff. I’m not trying to be obnoxious. Much. But there are the obvious things: handsome, noble, in possession of a sense of humor as well as a modest fortune (or at least a job), and the ability to not frighten small children (since that would be handy later.) But then there is The Mystery.

As Marnee pointed out, we love to solve a mystery, whether we realize it or not. And I’m pretty sure Lisa has also opined on heroes with that sense of SOMETHING, but you can’t pinpoint what. You don’t know; it’s a mystery.

Think how boring Mr. Darcy would have been if he’d really been that pretentious jerk. It would have been so easy to loathe him; and yet the more we’re around him, the more we sense a bit of mystery about him. Something that makes us think he’s not quite as he seems, there’s something there beneath the surface if we’re willing to look.

I know we’re not exactly rule-followers around here; and I know that the first rule is: drink rum, then write. But one of the close followers to this rule is: Show, Don’t Tell. Which if anyone has had a gander at my WIP can tell you is easier said than done. I’d say the flipside to this all-important rule is: Show, But Don’t Show Too Much. Show us the 10% to intrigue us, and let us figure out the other 90. Readers want to fill in the blanks *and* we want to be right, so letting us fill in what we don’t know about a character by virtue makes us right. (For a while, at least.)

I think the problem with why Betas aren’t as valued as a sexy Alpha is that Betas don’t have secrets, and thus we know too much about them. Think of Will Turner, another pirate favorite. In the first film, he was Beta-Beta-Beta. He couldn’t have been more Beta if he’d been coached by Opie himself. The handsome blacksmith who nobly faced danger to save the woman of his dreams, with some help from the incomparable Jack Sparrow. The problem was that at the end of that movie: Will Turner was still a Beta—and he was still a blacksmith.

In the second movie, he went a bit more willingly into the danger to save his love *and* his father; and he was slightly more pirate as the movie raged on, but in the end, as he watched his fiancé kiss Jack on the deck of the Black Pearl, all I saw was betrayed blacksmith. You know, the Nice Guy Who Finished Last.

But with the beginning of the third movie, Will had developed this interesting new personality, compliments I’m sure of his loose-lipped fiancé, and he was far more Alpha than Beta in this flick. He was secretive, hurt simmering in the depths of those almost black eyes, and kept his agenda close and his enemies closer. Will was swoon-worthy before he tied on that scarf, simply because he got a bit of mystery about him.

Think about it. Aren’t your favorite romances filled with heroes whose backstories are kept close to the vest, but once revealed (at least partially) make you swoon that much harder for the hero it reveals? No one wants to go on the first date with a guy who reveals all his broken relationships and inability to commit before the dessert is even ordered. (It’s happened.) There is a certain sense of reward you feel as someone who has earned the right to know these secrets, if they’re not revealed until later in the game. That sense that he doesn’t trust just anyone with his darkest secrets; that he trusts you to keep them safe.

Do you like your men mysterious or forthcoming? Any movie or book “dark secrets” you can recall that left you totally floored and made you love the hero even more? Which Will is better: the first film or the last? Anyone have trouble with showing instead of telling like I do?

My Latest Aha! Moment - Creating Sexual Tension

2008-02-11T06:00:00.000-06:00

In writing we are inundated with talk of conflict. Having it in our plot is absolutely critical. It can be internal or external and without it we have nothing. It guarantees a page-turner, puts our hero and heroine at odds or in danger and makes the HEA all the more satisfying.

Alas, I can hear the groans already but this is not just another lecture on stirring up trouble for your characters. No, my friends, this is about using conflict to crank up the tension – the sexual tension.

First I have to say I highly recommend taking Mary Buckham's wonderful e-course "Sex Between the Pages" in which I have found this AHA! moment. I take no credit except for the fact I paid my money and signed up. The rest of this is all Mary. *g* (Aside: Mary offers other classes too. Synopsis anyone?!)

For the majority of romance writing, sex is a crucial part of the story but we all know there's more to sex than…well….sex. It's the anticipation, the build-up, the sexual tension. But how do we create that tension? Is it by having those "jet pools of warmth" showing up from a casual handshake? I believe the Captain would say "GOOD GOD NO!" And she would be right.

We crank up the tension by cranking up the conflict. The characters need to be conflicted about their reactions and responses to each other. Notice the change from the word conflict to conflicted. It can be that simple. If there is the slightest reason, whether real or perceived in the mind of your heroine, for her NOT to be attracted to the hero, then you have officially created conflict. And in turn, created sexual tension.

First, I'll give you something I've come up with.

Kid walked into the room with the swagger of a rock star. His long blonde
hair reflected the light off the neon sign over the bar and his eyes remained
hidden behind dark shades. A familiar itch started in the pit of Amy's
stomach and had her crossing the room before she realized she was moving.

Pressing her breasts against Kid's back at the same moment he
lifted a beer bottle to his lips, Amy whispered in his ear, "I've got something
much better than a cold bottle you can put those lips against."

Kid
pulled her around to trap her between the hard bar and his already hard
arousal. "Your place or mine?"

Attraction? Yes. Sex? Obviously. Tension? Nope. There's no conflict here. No reason given for either of these characters to fight their attraction. And though this might work in an erotica, there is nothing other than finding out how good these two are at sex for the reader to turn the page.

Now, I'll give you an example of sexual tension as created by a woman I consider a master of the art, Elizabeth Lowell.

This man's deep stillness brought out in Elyssa a reckless desire to pry beneath
his composed surface to the heat and seething life of him.

But Life
had taught Elyssa that recklessness could be very costly.

Warily
Elyssa measured the cool reserve in Hunter's eyes. A deeply feminine part
of her wondered where he had been and what had happened to take from his soul
all but ice and distance … and an echo of pain that cut her like a
razor.

Why should I care about this man's past? Elyssa asked
herself fiercely. He evaded whichever Culpepper was on guard out in the
pass, and that's more than Mac with all his hunting skills managed to
do.

That's all I should care about. Hunter's
skills.

Yet it wasn't all Elyssa was concerned about, and she was
too intelligent not to know it. This man drew her as no other ever
had.
(Lowell, Autumn Lover, p 4)

Attraction? Yes. Sex? Maybe. Tension? Hell yeah. This is a woman alone in the wild west trying to keep her ranch and herself from being devoured by the evil Culpeppers. She's seen enough to be wary of any man and this is a complete stranger who has shown up out of no where, strode silently out of the shadows and offered his protection. She has no reason to trust him, every reason to be afraid of him, yet she wants to crawl inside of him. Tell me you could resist turning the page at this point?

It's important to note the perceived obstacle or conflict does not have to have anything to do with the overall conflict of the story. It can be as simple as a past negative experience with a jock in HS leaving a heroine wary of large, athletically built men. Which means when she meets and is instantly attracted to a very athletic, virile man, she fights the attraction telling herself she couldn't possibly have anything to do with him.

Now, am I the only one who didn't know all this? Are you a master at cranking up the sexual tension and your work is brimming with the stuff? Or are you now realizing what you've been missing and running off to add little bits of conflict to all those highly charged run-in with your hero and heroine? Also, what author(s) do you think is a master at creating the kind of sexual tension that has smoke pouring off the pages?

Hottie Crew Member of the Week

2008-02-10T00:00:00.000-06:00

So far we've filled out (and I do mean *filled out*) the crew with Lance, our trusted Lifeguard, and Ecanus, our Angel of Writers. They're both scrumptious to say the least. But this pirate comes to writing after years of being in music. I'm a former Disc Jockey with a country music singing ex-husband and a heavy metal bass playing ex-boyfriend. When I say "been there done that" – I mean it.

But my love of musicians remains with me still. Call it magic. Call it magnetic. Call me a moron. Anyway you go, you gotta a love a man with a guitar. And that's why I bring you…..Garrett.

We do love a bawdy tune upon this vessel and who better to keep us humming than a man with a great instrument. Man, how many innuendos did I fit into that one. Sometimes I even surprise myself. LOL!

Anyway, pull up a bar stool, top off the mug with some rum and get ready to hum along. Garrett and his Guitar will provide the background music this week as we take a look at all things Valentines. We'll start the week with a bit of foreplay and discuss sexual tension. Then we'll move onto showing not telling the love, talking all things anti-V day and the sweet-tart of the bunch (that would be Gunner Marnee) will share so much sugar on the big day, you'll need dentures by the time she's done. Not sure what the Powder Monkey has up her sleeve for Friday but the woman works around ammo and sharp objects so I'll just say it'll be fan-freaking-tastic no matter what it is.

And don't forget to be here Tuesday, February 26th, for our first visit with Leslie Langtry talking about her latest release Guns Will Keep Us Together. This book is the second in a series that centers around a family of assassins. Yep, you read that right. This is one you WILL NOT want to miss!!!

"Don't Doubt It"

2008-02-08T05:00:00.000-06:00

"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt. "~ William Shakespeare

As pirates, we face traitors in everyday battle. We overcome them, force them to walk the plank, then we smile as we glance over the ship’s rail to see them washed away by the forceful current of the ocean tide.

Many times in my life, I’ve attempted to remove failure from my vocabulary. I’ve seen people use the term failure to measure a person’s worth, and to me that is so wrong. Can you really call a person a failure until you’ve walked in their shoes?

As writers, we allow doubt to seep into our minds, and begin to question if we will ever succeed. Doubt can sneak up on you when you least expect it, tearing down aspirations and the confidence you have for your WIP. It explains why one day you feel you’ve written the best 5K you’ve ever produced and the next day you have no idea what you were thinking. The most confident writer has doubts; they have moments when they question their ability. It’s normal, we all do.

How you deal with doubt defines your progress.

The answer to doubt is as simple as the universal answer to most obstacles writers face. You continue to write, and then you write some more. I face all difficult tasks in my life in the same manner. I measure the difficulty of the task, and then I question my ability. Before I ever attempted to write a book, I asked myself why I should even try. The answer is because I enjoy writing and I have nothing to lose by trying. If I don’t publish, I still have the experience of the journey. No matter how successful I become I will always be a writer. Writing has become as much a part of me as my personality.

I don’t view a writer as a failure because of the inability to publish. It’s measured by how we choose to perfect our craft. We set ourselves up for failure if we never take our peer’s advice, never learn from our mistakes and instead make excuses for every criticism voiced about our work. There are so many resources available for writers; we have no excuse for not having a grasp on our profession. If you research long enough you will find the answers. If you ask questions often enough you will become empowered. If you write long enough you will hit your stride. If you network and make yourself visible, you will become a familiar name. If you visit a scene where your WIP takes place then you write it honestly. If you believe in the story you want to tell then you will strive harder to get it told.

Shakespeare had a beautiful point; treat the doubts in your mind as traitors. Why not use the negative as a positive? Write your doubts into a corner, and then every time you glance at that corner use them to fuel your desire for success.

How do you view failure? Do you base it on the inability to publish, or what you fail to learn on the journey? How do you keep doubts at bay when you become discouraged about your WIP? Who views doubt as an internal mechanism for alerting us that we’ve veered off course?

Voice Lessons – Part Two

2008-02-07T05:30:00.000-06:00

Movie directors and screenwriters have it easier than straight out novelists. (At least I think so and it’s my blog so what I say goes. Pirate.) I think they have it easier than us because they can rely on visuals. Within seconds of the credits rolling and the music starting, the tone of a movie is set. The colors they use, the angles they come from, and the actions of the characters as well as the script all play a part in “setting the scene.”

When you’re a novelist, you only have the words you write. “Only!” I hear some of you wenches gasping. Well, yes, only. Think of all the visual weapons in a screen director’s arsenal. And what do we have? Words.

Yet, I constantly hear from moviegoers, “that wasn’t as good as the book.” How, if a director can make us see everything, can’t they make a movie better than a book?

A good novelist creates something that lives inside someone else’s head. That’s a tall task. When a reader picks up a book, they want to fall into the world that author has created. They want that world, those characters, to live inside their head for the few hours it will take them to reach the end.

So, how do we set that scene? What do we do to make that scene, the setting, the book, alive for that reader? I say it starts with the tone we use and, ultimately, with our voice.

But, what, beyond lots and lots of practice, attributes to our voice?

Yesterday, Sin talked about how we write emotion and I thought that really got at the heart of voice. As I mentioned in the comments (if you haven’t read them, you should, as always the wenches who visit the boat leave brilliant insight) I don’t do dark well. In addition to that, I don’t do a lot of melodrama well. In fact, I would say for the most part, I’m pretty light. But, I don’t think light has to mean light on substance.

So, my WIP is a not dark, non-melodramatic, light but substantial read. In fact, those adjectives tell you nothing concrete about my writing style.

How am I “not dark?” How do I avoid melodrama? What makes me substantial but light?

These questions got me thinking about the specifics of creating voice. Apparently we all have to “find” our voice. How many times do we hear that advice as fledgling authors? Keep writing, I hear, you’ll figure it out, they say. And, I agree. The more I write, the more clarity I have about this.

But, that doesn’t help you. So, today, I want to talk about some of the specifics. How do we create voice? My first example is this: I know that my dialogue is very light because my characters banter. It’s quick and at times silly. My characters twist each other’s words and bicker the way that attorneys do; with a one-up the other goal in mind and practically no malice. When they talk, the tones of their conversation hold the power-struggle I see between defensive parties. It makes for tension, but without the darkness. Or, so I think.

What about you? What specific things do you do that contribute to your voice?

Shot Through the Heart

2008-02-06T00:56:00.000-06:00

There’s something about emotion that can weigh a character down. A feeling like the weight of the world is carried on their shoulders. The feeling of guilt. The feeling of devastation. Hopelessness. Regret. A lot of regret. It takes a lot for a character to leave that feeling behind. And it takes a strong writer to help them achieve it.

It’s the journey that makes the ending all the more enjoyable.

In every story there is an internal conflict that the character must go through to show the reader, convince them that his/her will is strong. The he/she can grow from mistakes. Learn. Move on. But what does it take out of the writer to convey that? We all tend to live through our words. Moving our characters in and out of a world that we’ve created, situations that we’ve placed them in. We give them life. We give them heartache. We give them strength to put one foot in front of the other. But when it comes down to the real emotion, the type of stuff that make a reader’s heart stop, the tears, the moment of truth, does it really come from your own experiences and drag the character through the mud? Or do you play it off, skirting around the issue, resolving it with as little drama as possible?

When I write emotion, I write how I feel. I think of the situation. I think of how I would react. How someone else would react. I see it as a play in my mind and I’m the director. Even if I’ve never experienced it before, my imagination takes it away for me. I can’t say I’ve ever seen blood pouring out of a body before (besides my own). I can’t say that I’ve had a sister been brutally murdered. Or been a FBI agent. Or even drove Porsche. But it only takes a visual image and a really good imagination to get you through it.

After following a brilliant blog by Colleen Gleason yesterday about research, and comments made about the emotion and plot weaving and what it takes to write those characters, I thought about what it takes to be a great writer. What draws your reader into your stories and keeps you coming back for more. And I think it’s the emotion the writer puts into the characters. The heart. The research. You have to feel like you’re a part of the story. To be absorbed by the world. To experience the internal dialogue. To have that moment of utter despair and hopelessness in the black moment like your world is crushing down around you. Suck them into that world and make them come back for more. Make them see it. Make them feel it. That’s the mark of a truly great writer.

So my blog is short today (and probably not sweet, lol) and really there is only one question on my mind. How do you write emotion? I know we talked about our moods bleeding into our words in the comments a few days ago, but do you roll with it when it happens? Or do you distance yourself from your own emotions and separate your heroine/heroes emotions from ones that you would normally have? If you’re a reader, what do you prefer? Do you prefer that deep emotional connection or do you prefer light and fluffy?

Colleen Gleason: Putting Truth Into Your Fiction and Other Challenges in Writing Paranormal Historicals

2008-02-05T00:01:00.000-06:00

Pirates, please help me in welcoming Colleen Gleason to the ship! *hearty cheers*

Colleen, as if you didn't know, is a fellow pirate who traverses the salty seas, writing about vampires, if you can believe it. *superstitious routine done by crew members where they cross themselves in protection against vampires*

Captain Colleen has published three books in the Gardella Vampire Chronicles, and her newest release, The Bleeding Dusk, hits the shelves today! (She even has a rave review from J.R. Ward!): "Sophisticated, sexy, surprising. With its Regency graces and vampire lore, this book grabs you and holds you tight until the very last page!"

I love writing paranormal historicals.

One reason I like the historical setting is that it gives the heroine (and other characters) a different set of restrictions than they have in today’s world. It makes it more challenging for them—and for me.

Such as? Well, obviously, no cell phones, no texting, no Internet and email. Makes communication that much more difficult, and it makes it easier for things like swapping or taking on new identities. It also allows me to build in more tension because, again, it’s harder to get places, to contact people, to find out things.

And then there’s the whole fashion aspect. While, I admit, there are times when I wish I could put my Victoria Gardella Grantworth into some serious CFM boots, or a glittery cocktail dress, or Max into a leather duster, or Sebastian into some tight suede jeans…I also get to use the styles of dress at that time to my advantage.

It’s a lot harder for a young woman attending a Society ball to find a place to hide her stake than it was for Buffy, who just slipped it up her sleeve. I’ve had to get creative with my heroine and find ways for her to secret weapons on her person, and even to have to change in the carriage and need help from someone to unlace her corset! Fun, fun, fun.

Another reason I love writing historical paranormals is because I get to play with history. I get to take events that actually happened and give them a paranormal twist or otherworldly explanation.

For example, when I was researching the second book in the Gardella Vampire Chronicles, Rises the Night, I learned that John Polidori, the author of The Vampyre, died a somewhat mysterious death. There were differing explanations as to why/how he’d died. Well, heck, I thought...I’m certain it had to do with his exposing vampire secrets in his book The Vampyre, and they came after him for revenge.

And voila! I had a plot twist that I was able to build upon.

I also learned that secret societies like the Carbonari were very common in Italy at the time, and so I figured there had to be a secret society of vampire protectors that also existed—and thus I created The Tutela, which is just that: a society that protects and serves the undead, and appear in my books.

For my third Gardella book, I wanted to base part of the plot around something in Rome. I kept Googling things like “Rome 19th century legend” “Rome 18th century secret” “Rome myth” “Rome legend.” And while I got a lot of things about Remus and Romulus, I also found out about The Door of Alchemy (La Porta Alchemica), which is a real door that still exists today, and is described in my book The Bleeding Dusk.

In fact, because it was so fascinating, I used that door as the main focal point of the suspense plot in the book. And to think I found it quite by accident! That’s the beauty of writing paranormal historicals, and the fun stuff that research can uncover.

One more, then I’ll stop and take questions….when I was working on the fourth Gardella Vampire Chronicles book, When Twilight Burns (coming in August), I found out that during the time the book was set the former Prince Regent of England was crowned king, and that the coronation was a huge, elaborate, expensive affair…and that he refused to let his estranged wife, Queen Caroline, enter Westminster Abbey for the coronation.

I had to use that tidbit in my book, and I knew just how to build that paranormal aspect around it!

I want to thank Fran for having me and for dressing up the place so nicely—that Writer’s Angel is extremely inspiring.  I’d love to borrow him.

I’d love to take questions from anyone about the books, the series, the research process, etc.—so lay’em on me! Oh, and ARGH!!!

Hellion, again: Colleen is not only a kick-ass pirate, but she's a kick-ass pirate with booty! One lucky commenter will win one of Colleen's books--winner's choice. (Can't get any better booty than that.) So please stop and ask your most pressing questions about research, the series--and most importantly: is Sebastian a sort of Professor Snape character? And when do we get to see more of him?

A Piratical Debate – Why we will never have Universal Funny

2008-02-03T21:39:00.000-06:00

Many conversations take place behind the scenes here on the Romance Writer's Revenge. One of those exchanges led to today's debate. Why sometimes funny is not funny to all.

Captain Hellion's opening statement:
It is said that writing tragedy is easy, but writing comedy is hard. Why is that? Why is it easy for us to agree that death of a loved one or puppies murdered for their fur or [SPOILER ALERT!] Will Turner being cursed as the Flying Dutchman's captain and only seeing Elizabeth once every ten years are all tragic, but humor, that which gets us through all the heartbreak, is subjective?

Boatswain Terrio's opening statement:
I think the reason tragedy is universal is because it hits the heart. A fickle, soft organ that most everyone owns but no one controls. Though it recovers it is completely susceptible to the slightest tale of sadness, loss or pain. Humor, however, aims for the funny bone. A much tougher nut to crack. The funny bone is not fickle but rather choosy and might I say persnickety. Which is why humor is subjective.

Captain Hellion:
Last summer, I went to Virginia and met my virtual-friend Terri. Though we hailed from different backgrounds and different childhoods, we were alike in a lot of ways. Hell, we even photographed the same: unhappy with the outcome, but faintly sunburned from all the fun we were having. Now Terri and I laugh at a lot of the same things, except I adore Will Ferrell and she has absolutely no taste where he is concerned. Now it's easy to love Jon Stewart and that Colbert guy—the brainy, sarcastic grown-up geek who has filled out from his pasty-white, lanky-thin days and has proved once and for all to his high school graduating class that: Sure you may have stuffed me in a locker repeatedly, but who's laughing now?

Boatswain Terrio:
Ah, last year's vacation. Good times. Good times. And speaking of pictures, have you gotten yours developed yet? Hmmmm? And I have to say I am a real person - not just virtual. LOL! Though I bet if I were virtual I would weigh virtually nothing. Yes, lets say I'm virtual. Now, I must argue that it is not a matter of having no taste but rather Will Ferrell not being to my taste. I never even realized that I had never seen a Will Ferrell movie until we started talking about it. It wasn't a conscious avoidance. More the result of me avoiding things I don't find funny. I do like Jon Stewart because his humor is laced with a touch of truth and intelligence. For me there is a fine line between being silly and being stupid. In most cases, for me, Ferrell obliterates that line.

Captain Hellion:
The difference between a comedian like Will Ferrell and one like Jon Stewart is like the difference between going on a date with Adam Sandler verses a date with Dennis Miller. With Adam, he'd make you feel okay about spilling spaghetti down your blouse by offering to suck the spaghetti strands out of your cleavage with his straw. Dennis would probably offer you the history of pasta that would amuse you, but then remind you that hey, the Romans had a democracy—and they were also Republican. While you would be laughing your ass off at Adam's antics, wondering who the hell sucks spaghetti though a straw; with Dennis you'd point out just like the Romans, American Republicans are also equally corrupt and prone to stabbing each other in the back. Et tu, McCain?

Boatswain Terrio:
Again I must argue. I would never go on a date with Dennis Miller. Have you seen the man's hands? Way too small. And he may not cross the line into stupid but he's more condescending and pretentious than I could possibly bear. This is about the humor, not the men.

Captain Hellion:
The problem with being the guy who was stuffed in the locker all the time is that even your humor is serious. You spend a lot of your time mocking and satirizing the world around you, which admittedly is funny (if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?), but there's
an edge to it. It's not laughing for laughter's sake. It's not as carefree; it's not as childlike. And if there's one thing Will Ferrell is: he's a great big child.

Boatswain Terrio:
Hence the problem for me. I'm not interested in laughing for laughter's sake or watching anything childish. And I do use that word opposed to childlike since I think it fits Mr. Ferrell much better. Maybe my problem is that I don't find the ridiculous funny. I want there to be a point to the joke. I want it to be funny because it's true. I prefer irony or a twist of words.

Captain Hellion:
And then you have: Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. Not a serious moment to be found, and certainly no hidden moral agenda. Just stupid catchphrases and tasteless sequences that leave you laughing, appalled, in your chair. Even Will's commercially serious comedy:
Stranger Than Fiction, was more sweet and funny, in the manner of Elf, than painfully pretentious. Maybe it's the short blonde curls and the wide innocent expression Will does so well. After all, he would embrace any obnoxious role on Saturday Night Live and do it so deadpan, he'd keep in character even while every other skit-mate was falling apart around him. Why do I love Will Ferrell? His ability to deliver lines like: "Dear tiny, infant Jesus, lying in his tiny golden fleece…" and "Smiling's my favorite" and "I work for the IRS, everyone hates me" with equal deadpan sincerity. Will is sincere, and he's sincerely funny. That's all.

Boatswain Terrio:
Ah, THAT movie. That is the worst to me. And yes, I'm a NASCAR fan and that might cloud my judgment but it's precisely lines like those I do not find amusing. The ability to deadpan only works for me if the punch line is actually funny. To be fair, I don't like Ben Stiller movies either or much of the humor Owen Wilson does. At least when he does movies with Stiller.

The bottom line here is not whether Will Ferrell is funny. It's that what IS funny is not universal. Which means how do you know if what you've written is funny? Many books, no matter how serious, have some sort of comic relief. But what if what we write as relief is not funny to the reader? We can be sure that when we break our heroine's heart, our readers will feel the pain. When our hero cries, our reader's will cry. But will they laugh when our hero steps on our heroine's foot sending her into curses and name calling? Or when our heroine's father walks in to catch his daughter in a most *compromising* position?

I put the question to you. What do you find funny? Do you prefer Will Ferrell or Jon Stewart? Is it high brow stuff for you or maybe slapstick and the ridiculous? Or do you prefer no humor at all in your books? If that's the case, then I apologize for the drivel of today's blog. *g*

Hottie Crew Member of the Week - A Gift From the Heavens

2008-02-02T22:51:00.000-06:00

There is this bumper sticker that I just love. "Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly." It's the Catholic schoolgirl in me but I have always believed in angels, especially the guardian type. And let me tell you, mine has more than earned her pay. In fact, I'm sure she's earned a really cushy cloud by now.

With this saying in mind, I thought the Romance Writer's Revenge needed our own guardian angel. And I give to you……Ecanus.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Not the sexiest name. But Ecanus is the Angel of Writers. No shit. I looked it up. Ecanus " Inspires them with original thoughts and ensures they see their works through to completion." Do we need Ecanus on this ship or what?!

Oh, and if you happen to have lascivious thoughts about Ecanus, that's perfectly alright. After all, he spends all his time with us. He's totally used to it by now. *g* And I keep hiding that damn towel but he keeps finding it again…

Guest Blogger Reminder
Don't forget to stop by the ship this Tuesday, February 5, to visit with Colleen Gleason, author of the Gardella Vampire Chronicles. Colleen will be joining us to celebrate the release of the newest book in the series, The Bleeding Dusk. Who can resist a Regency version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The heroine of the series, Lady Victoria Gardella, is not your typical Regency Lady, and this is your chance to pick the mind of the incredible author who created her.

Join us for Vamps, Tramps (that's us) and lots and lots of rum. I know, rum doesn't rhyme. So sue me. LOL!

Voice Lessons

2008-02-01T05:00:00.000-06:00

When I was pregnant with my son, I listened to a variety of music because I love music and I wanted him to share my passion. Parenting literature claims that if you expose a growing fetus to music they could possess artistic skills later in life. I have to say I am a believer in that philosophy. My son loves music, and all musical instruments. He loves to dance, and sing, and he shows promising musical talent. I’m not claiming to have cultivated a future American Idol, but I’ve provided the microphone, it’s up to him to develop his voice.

As writers, we cultivate things from the world around us to use as tools when we choose to write a story. The type of individuals we are, and sometimes want to be, helps to create our characters. We read books and absorb the style of our favorite authors, and then we decide with our own voice how to tell our story.

I’ve struggled with developing a plot for my WIP that doesn’t appear too clichéd. I don’t want to write a cookie cutter version of something that’s already been done. I learned from a brainstorming session that all plots have been done, but how I make it my own is with my personal writer’s voice. I’ve been too busy trying to formulate the plot for the next Great American Novel to see what has always been a given. We all use the same plot formula, but it’s up to us as writers to make it our own.

Mastering a writer’s voice is the same as a singer mastering their vocal range. It takes practice and a desire to perfect our craft.

Have you ever heard the old proverb The devil makes work for idle hands?

When my hands aren’t writing I find myself procrastinating. The longer I stay away from some form of writing the less confident I become, and the less productive I am when I do sit down to write. I have to think, live, and work like a writer in order to keep my voice.

A plotted outline is an idea; it doesn’t become a story until you breathe life into the words that unfold the plot. We can sketch characters all day, but you never truly do them justice until you bring them to life on the page. All of the pirates here at the ship could take the same plot and characters and write a story, but I guarantee one would not shadow another. It’s because we all possess our own individual voice. It follows the same pattern as the game of truth. I’m sure you played this game as a child. One individual whispers a phrase in the person’s ear beside him and the phrase is passed on down the line until the last person repeats what he just heard. It never matches the beginning phrase, because each individual hears the phrase and makes of it what they want.

Wouldn’t the literary word be dull if we all shared the same voice? Variety is the spice of life, and when it comes to writing for a living, perfecting your individual voice is the greatest investment of all.

Does your writer’s voice shine in characterization, description, plot, or all of the above? Have you discovered anything that improves your writing voice? Does anyone share my sudden urge to Karaoke?

And the Santa Baby Booty goes to...

2008-01-31T14:48:00.000-06:00

Irish!!! You are the winner of the Little Cheese & Wine Book by Gregor Schaefer as well as What Men Think About by Patrick Wahl. Congratulations and please send your snail mail addy so I can get the goodies shipped in your direction.

Thanks again everyone who played along and to Santa for such a great blog. Irish, we will expect a full book report on that What Men Think About book as soon as possible. LOL!

Writing Mystery Plots (Alternative Title, “Does This Sound Too Much Like Clue?”)

2008-01-31T05:30:00.000-06:00

There is something about sitting down to watch or read a good mystery that gets all the brain cells working. It’s as if the story is challenging me to figure it out before it gives me the right answer. I get the same thrill when I watch Jeopardy, trying to answer the questions before the contestants. No one can hear me (at least I hope no one can hear me talking to myself), but I know if I got it correct faster than the other guy. And when I do, I feel a sense of elation. I won, at least in principle.

Reading mysteries is a little trickier because I have the answer to the whodunit right there in my hand. If I REALLY wanted to know whodunit, I could simply skip to the last couple chapters and piece it together. Yet, even when I do give in and read the end first – yes, I admit it, I have done that before – invariably I feel cheated. But, really, who cheated me? I did, and that’s the worst kinda cheating.

So, I try really hard to tough it out and figure it out on my own, fair and square. Sometimes you just have to be firm with yourself.

In the current overhaul of my WIP, I see a space for a mystery plot. In fact, I think it would be a great addition and something fun to write.

However, as I sat down to puzzle it out, I realized that writing a mystery is even harder than solving a mystery. In my case, I’m hoping to include a murder mystery. So, this isn’t just a “where did my heroine leave her glasses” kind of problem. Someone dies and I need to figure out who, what, when, where, and why as well as the how. Add that to all of the motivations in the romance portion of the plot and I’m going to need a map and GPS to get out of this story.

While puzzling over all these logistic details, I have the additional concerns of a mystery reader. I hate mysteries I solve too fast. I want a challenge. In fact, I don’t mind being outsmarted if the end result makes sense upon reflection. I’m trying to figure out a plot that isn’t obvious, that makes sense, but that feels fresh to both me and my reader. This seems to center around finding an unlikely, but believable, villain.

Having to defer to the mystery plot is a little frustrating as well. The romance is supposed to be number one, but I’m finding, when it comes to plotting, the murder trumps the love. I guess I have to smooth in the love around the murder.

So, it’s your turn, lovely wenches. If you’re writing a mystery plot, how are you doing it? What characters make unlikely, but good villains? What are some good motivations for murder? Anyone else yell out the answers to Jeopardy?

By the way, I know I said I was going to blog about babies and puppies this week, but alas, it wasn’t to be. Here’s something to tide you over, though.

Tuning in Channel 007- My Heroine-

2008-01-30T00:31:00.000-06:00

I got out of work late. Stupid traffic was holding me up. After all day of listening to my heroine and her sister fight, I was in the mood to get home. But the weather had been bad since 2 o’clock, dropping 40 degrees and leaving people in a rush to get home. Unfortunately, no one in Missouri remembered what a little snow looked like and were driving like they just stepped off the Caribbean Cruise Ship.

I looked at the stoplight. It was green and I still wasn’t moving. In the car in front of me, the driver was talking on their cell phone. I bit my lower lip. I was tempted to honk my horn. But no need. The jackass behind me wasn’t holding back and had been laying on his horn for the past five minutes. The nice lady flipped me off repeatedly. Just freakin' lovely.

I watched as her brake lights went off, the line moved; and we crept along at 5 mph until we hit the next light, idling by while I watch the cars in the opposite lane move along steadily. I sighed.

“I thought I told you I wanted to shoot someone.” The voice in my head said and I could hear the pout in her voice. “You made me a computer nerd.”

“Hm.” I thought, accelerating through the light. “I made you a computer nerd because you’re brilliant, you twit.”

“I don’t like it.”

“I don’t really care. Suffer. I have to suffer from you yapping at me at 3 am. And Ash too. And now Ruiz. I swear, don’t you people sleep?”

She laughed at me. Laughed! “Did you expect me to sleep with a roommate like that?”

Actually no. But I kept that to myself. “But don’t you like the ending? You’re rather kick ass in the ending. In fact, you’re rather kick ass throughout the whole thing.”

“I know,” she huffed. “But I wanted to be a bad ass agent. And you cut me off at the knees.”

I stopped at the last light before hitting the county road to my house. “Dude. Chill. You can do things that I could never possibly do. I can’t hack into someone’s computer and not worry about not getting caught. I can't pack around a 9mm at my lower back and walk through areas deemed not fit for convicts let alone white girls looking for trouble. I mean seriously,” I paused, checking over my shoulder so I could pass the slow poke old man in front of me. “You have a hot roomie. A hot agent to work with. A hot detective sniffing at your heels. And you have a kick ass job. How can you not be happy?”

“Can’t you just change a few things? You’re screwing with my flow.”

“That’s my job.” I mentally rolled my eyes. “Like what exactly do you want me to change?” I pulled into my parking space. “I’ve changed so much crap in the past year that I’ve had to scrap over 100k because of you. You’re fickle and sometimes you’re bitchy to me.” I sniffed. “That kind of hurts my feelings, you know?”

She stomped on a brain cell and there was a pulsing headache behind my right eye now. “Shut up you cry baby. I swear I don’t know how we got paired together.”

I laughed. “Because sometimes I can plot my way out of a wet paper bag.”

She snorted. “Well you better prove it because this story you got me wrapped up in is some twisted shit. I can’t believe you.”

“If you can just hang on a second I’ll show you.”

I run inside and drop my things. The house is in utter chaos. Dinner still needs to be done. Things before bedtime need to be finished. But I have to get on the computer fast because she’s talking to me. Which means, she’s going to cooperate for the five seconds she’s still around.

I grabbed the laptop like a woman possessed, turning it on, chanting to myself “hurry, hurry, hurry,” and finally it comes up. I shove my flash drive in, pull up the document, and call out.

“Hey? You there?”

Nothing.

There was screaming in the background. Blaring of the TV. Running of water. Dishes being flopped around. The neighbors are making a bunch of noise. And still there’s nothing.

“S, you there?”

Still nothing. I sighed. And yet another moment gone with a chance to write because I was stuck in traffic. Another moment gone because I was sleeping. Another moment gone because I was in a meeting, teleconference, running on the treadmill, cooking dinner, washing dishes… you name it.

The only way to get through to my heroine is to channel lock her. I sit down. I pull up Word. And I just write anything that comes to mind. The best way to get her to come out and play nicely, is to force her to play along. Even if you write scenes that you’ll never use in your WIP, what better way to understand them thoroughly than to write and work with them? What better way to learn your character than channeling them even when they aren't ready.

And when all else fails, grab some rum.

Seriously.

Now, there was really no point to this. I needed something happy (yes, this is about as happy as I get), even though Capt’n’s blog was quite fabulous and thought provoking yesterday, I figured the only way I could improve was by kicking blind puppies. (And no, Hellion, contrary to popular belief, I don’t kick blind puppies.)

PS. In case you didn't know, that was my day yesterday. :)

So today’s thought provoking moment is pretty simple. How do you capture those moments when your characters strike without warning and you're without your favorite method of capturing it? And when does it happen to you the most?

Tapping into the Universal: (subtitled: No, You're Not Subconsciously a Serial Killer)

2008-01-29T00:00:00.000-06:00

What's the scariest thing you've ever done? Skydiving? Pish-posh. Giving birth? Thousands of women do that every day and live to tell the tale. No. What's truly frightening?

Yeah, that.

Pulling your deepest, most inner demons to the light of day and slapping them in the middle of your story.

Okay, Boatswain is already shaking her head because her characters tend to talk more amongst themselves and she writes it down like an Imperial Secretary; however, I'm a Pisces, and therefore, odd, and tend to empathize with just about anything I meet: movies, television series, Hallmark commercials. Doesn't matter, and obviously it also doesn't matter that none of the people affiliated with the things I mentioned actually exist. Trifles.

When I write, it's the same. I have to know my characters enough to empathize with them, to sort of step in their skin and channel them onto the page. When I'm writing from one POV to the other, I am that person. Which is a little frightening, especially if you're playing a character either not at all like you (the villain) or someone really like you. In both cases, you're pulling feelings from within you, feelings that therefore exist.

If you're pretending to be a serial killer, you try to convey the rationalization of why you kill; and if you capture it and put it on the page, you suddenly realize: Dude, I just justified cold-blooded murder. You wonder about yourself…and you definitely stop willy-nilly saying throwaway lines like, "I'm going to kill you" when someone does something to irritate you. Because now you're thinking, well, obviously I could, how sick am I?

But pretend you write fluffy stories. You're still going to have a villain. But say it's a cold-hearted mother-type or the manipulative hussy who's wreaking havoc at large. You step inside that role, write out this magnificent scene, and waltz off stage left. You look at the scene again, and you think, "I need a shower. Am I that much of a manipulative bitch?" You ask your husband, which is always a bad idea. Oh, sure, he answers it correctly if he has any sense whatsoever ("Of course not, honey"), but deep down, you knew there was not really a right answer here; there was only a wrong one.

So you move onto your heroine, someone in which you can identify, someone who fears rejection—and you pull out all the stops, pull up every bit of drama from your high school prom, crank up the Def Leppard ballads—and write the Blackest Moment where all your heroine's neuroses bite her in the ass. Then you re-read it, and you realize if anyone from high school reads your book, they will immediately know your heroine is you. Your critique partner reads it—and though she was never in high school with you and therefore is unaware what a complete loser you were—and says: "Wow, this sounds just like you." It will not matter that your scene does not take place anywhere near a senior prom.

But here's the thing. Emotion is universal. Communication is about relating to another individual, to be understood, to be accepted, and writing is one of the most basic ways to do that. Love and conflict (i.e. rejection, bias, hate, misunderstandings)—that is universal. Every story ever written can be distilled to one or both of these themes. Emotion is universal, like song; but your voice, like lyrics, is what makes the story yours to tell. Don't worry that everyone who's reading your book is thinking "this sounds like her reaction at her high school prom" because it's much more likely they're thinking, "God, I've so been there." And that's what you were shooting for, right?

You as a person are separate from the writing you put on the page. Just because you write about serial killers and nymphomaniacs and God forbid, the woman-superior position, you’re not a killer or a slut—and no one is going to think you are. Okay, some crazy interviewer someday might say, “Where do you get your inspiration for your sex scenes?”—but those are people who don’t understand; and they are certainly not people who should be taken into consideration when you’re putting your words on the public page. Don’t be scared; don’t avoid it because people might think you’re bad or wrong; and don’t judge yourself for writing it. You’re not doing yourself or your characters any favors by holding back. You are not your characters, no matter how much of yourself you might find within them.

Just thought I'd send out a little reassurance in case anyone thought they were turning into a serial killer. Unlikely. Though you might want to take some time to decompress, play with some puppies or try channeling a character whose idea of a dark side is much like Sally Albright.

What's the scariest thing you've ever written and why did it bother you? What author do you think can tap into that Universal Factor, that "I've so been there"? Any book or scene that comes to mind? Anyone else wish Santa was blogging about men again? How many just caught on that the Johnny Depp picture has absolutely nothing to do with my blog?

Santa Burns on Just What Men Are Really Thinking

2008-01-28T06:00:00.000-06:00

For as long as I can remember, I’ve found people, men in particular, to be fascinating. While the love of the written word has been in my blood for as long as I can remember, the very nature of human nature never ceases to amaze me. And as a writer, I find my male characters, both hero and secondary, enthralling. And I wonder to myself – Just what are they thinking?

The men of our stories, our heroes, are on a journey of self-discovery. In meeting and falling in love with our heroines, they must break one of the cardinal rules of manhood - open up to themselves and their ladies. They must fall in love and actually have the capacity to do so.

There are numerous resources out there to facilitate the research into exactly what men are thinking. We do, after all, want to paint an accurate picture. So what are these resources? Libraries and online sites are filled with books that help spell out for the 21st Century woman exactly what men are thinking. Classic among these is ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’.

Another gold mine is the internet. I stumbled upon this resource on my way to check in on my writing group VaNo. It’s a Yahoo group and, as such, Yahoo comes up and lists clips on interesting bits of information. On that particular day, they featured an article on four reasons men marry. And I thought to myself, they were able to come up with four? Off the top of my head I could only come up with one. He married because he met the love of his life and could not fathom life without her. Yes, that’s the romance writer in me speaking. So I clicked on it and found my way to ‘Men’s Health’, a men’s magazine in its internet incarnation.

What an eye opener! It’s geared toward men in their twenties and thirties and focuses on men’s health (duh), getting and staying fit and staying at the top of your game. It is also full of helpful hints on how to get and keep your woman – in a very PC, "this is the 21st century" kind of way. It seems, ladies, that what men are thinking is how to please us – in every way. Who knew?! All this time they’ve been concerned about keeping our goals a priority and to keep the lines of communication open.

And then it hit me! Men think just like we do and want the same things we do! And this is exactly how the men in romance behave – once they’ve come to their senses and realized that they are in love and want the whole world to know it. Whether it’s at a ball with the heroine’s favorite urchins surrounding them or while filming a cooking show that everyone from their hometown has come to watch.

So, friends, in your own reading or writing, what are your heroes thinking? Are they listening to what other people are saying to them or do they prefer to drive on through without stopping for directions?

Terrio here - I want to thank Santa (pictured above left with Eloisa James center and myself at the 2007 New Jersey Romance Writer's Conference) for joining us today. This is her first blog ever and what a topic to tackle. To celebrate and in honor of our Foodie guest, one lucky commenter is going to win the Little Cheese & Wine Book by Gregor Schaefer as well as What Men Think About by Patrick Wahl. Now get commenting and good luck!

Hottie Crew Member of the Week & Guest Bloggers Update

2008-01-27T06:00:00.000-06:00

So, with all the drinking we do around here, all the yelling to other boats the Captain does when she's had a little (read: gallons) too much rum, there's always the chance someone could fall overboard. Now, you could bring up the Pirate Code – Anyone who falls behind is left behind – but we're a more tender hearted lot of pirates. We'll haul that person's ass back in the boat and then remind her every other week about the time she was too stupid to stay on the damn ship.

Anyhoo, we figured we needed a sturdy, handy-dandy, "ass-hauling out of water" member of the crew. And we found the perfect recruit. Meet Lance the Pirate Lifeguard.

Now, by the looks of his lifesaver, Lance still needs some training. But, from the looks of his abs, we're willing to give him the job anyway. Can't you just see him, all oiled up and wearing those tight pirate breeches with those knee high boots? Hmmmm….I can see it. Oh yes, I'm seeing it….

Where was I? Oh yeah, so Lance is in charge of hauling asses back onto the ship. Anyone ready to jump? Hey!! Where'd everybody go? Hello?

Well, for those of you with some decorum who have stuck around, I wanted to take the chance to update you on our fantastic line-up of guest bloggers. So far, this is what you have to look forward to. Please mark your calendars accordingly. *g*

January 28 - Aspiring author, Santa Burns, joins the ranks for her first blog ever. She's jumping in with both feet (I think she likes Lance) and covering the topic of "What are men really thinking anyway?" You know you want the answer to that question. Be here Monday when Santa explains it all.

February 5 – Colleen Gleason visits to talk about the latest book in her Gardella Vampire Chronicles, The Bleeding Dusk. Dark, Regency Paranormal, this heroine is not your typical society debutante. In fact, there is nothing typical about Ms. Gleason's books.

March 19 – Pamela Clare writes incredible Romantic Suspense books as well as Historicals. She'll be visiting to talk about her next Romantic Suspense release, Unlawful Contact. The follow up to Extreme Exposure and Hard Evidence, this Investigative Reporter turned author creates characters and stories that will put you on the edge of your seat. And keep you there.

April 7 – We'll turn it up a few degrees with Erotica author Lacey Alexander aboard ship. With sex that makes you sweat, sigh and slide out of your chair, Seven Nights of Sin, Lacey's next Erotica book, hits the shelves in April. A must read for all those rainy April nights.

April 14 – Harlequin Intrigue author Dana Marton will join us to talk about her next release, 72 Hours. Ms. Marton's International stories are packed with heroes who save the world and enough danger to keep you up at night. Well, the heroes might keep you up at night as well.

May 6 – Colette Gale twists classic stories in a way you've probably never imagined. In Master, Ms. Gale told the story of The Count of Monte Cristo as it's never been told before and did the same with The Phantom of the Opera in her latest release, Unmasked. These Erotic tales will take you on a sensual journey that leaves you breathless and wanting more.

May 14 - Harlequin Mills & Boon author Annie West writes for the Presents, Modern and Sexy lines giving us some of the hottest Alpha heroes you've ever had the pleasure of meeting. And I do mean pleasure. Ms. West will come aboard to talk about her May release, The Greek Tycoon's Unexpected Wife. Come on, you have to stop just so you can ask her about that title!

June 2 – Toni Blake is an Erotic Romance author who sets the pages on fire. You'll swear you burned your fingers just holding the book. Ms. Blake will be here to talk about her June release, Letters to a Secret Lover, "A full length novel about love, sex and forgiveness." Don't miss it!

July 1 - Kimberly Killion celebrates with us the release of her debut novel, Her One Desire. Set in England in 1483, this story of Lady Lizbeth Ives, daughter of the Lord High Executioner, and Lord Broderick Maxwell promises to be the must read book of the summer. Ms. Killion has agreed to be our first true interview, bless her heart. You won't want to miss this one.

"Putting My Muse to Bed"

2008-01-25T05:00:00.000-06:00

I wonder how many hours a night Jack Sparrow sleeps. Pirates do some of their best pillaging at night, but since a pirate doesn’t punch a time clock I assume they have the next day to sleep off the excess from the night before. I may be a pirate, but I don’t share the same luxuries. I have a real life that demands me to serve many roles. It’s impossible to be a mother, a nurse, a wife, and a writer and indulge in too much of the pillage.

I am proud to say that I have started my WIP. With some brainstorming, and creative process I’ve finally developed a story that I feel can fly. It took me a long time to reach this point. In order to embrace a storyline, I have to believe in the conflict as well as the resolution. I have never attempted to write a story that I’ve felt in my gut that it’s the one-not until now.

I’ve reached one of the pinnacles of a writer’s journey. I should be happy, and I am, until its 3 a.m. and I can’t turn off the dialog and character scenes drifting through my mind. My muse is spending her nights as a pillaging pirate, and she’s not demonstrating a desire to stop anytime soon. I require at least four to five hours of sleep a night in order to function. I haven’t slept five hours since the weekend.

Don’t get me wrong- I love my hero whispering what he wants to do to my heroine in my ear, but can’t he tell me before I go to bed?

I’m not complaining, because I know at some point I’m going to hit a brick wall and my muse is going to be some where in the West Indies with Jack. I ’m glad that I’m so ate up with this WIP. It’s exciting; I brainstorm in the shower, on the way to work, and at work. I carry a notebook and I’m continually writing down my thoughts, and listening to the flight of ideas in my head. In the past week, I’ve written the opening scene, and somewhere along the way, I’ve managed to fall in love with one of my heroes.

It’s just a shame that I have a real job that requires me to be up at 5:30 a.m. bright- eyed and bushy- tailed. This week it hasn’t happened. I’ve been functioning at near zombie status, and I wake up when it’s time to go home and start writing again. When bedtime rolls around, I’m still having conversations with my hero. I finally say enough is enough; I save my WIP, and shut down my computer. I turn on the electric blanket, kick off my Hello Kitty slippers, and crawl into bed. It sounds like a cocoon of happiness, but when I roll over my hero is smiling at me in the dark. If he wasn’t a fictional character this wouldn’t be a bad thing- can you say eye candy? My heroine is a lucky woman, and the things he wants to do to her is enough to set the sheets on fire.

Tonight when he starts whispering sweet nothings about her in my ear, I’m using the line on him that always works with my DH. “Not tonight honey, I have a date with a pillow.” I just hope he takes no for an answer…zzzzzzzzz.

Do you experience muse overload? Have you ever fell in love with one of your heroes?

“What Am I Talking About?” or Writing Through Your Black Moments

2008-01-24T05:30:00.000-06:00

So, you’re shuffling along in your story, plowing through scene upon scene like Captain Jack Sparrow cutting the crowd at a party on his way to the rum punch. When I say you, I am, of course, referencing the ubiquitous you, the you that would be all of us if we were sitting at our keyboard writing this instance. Hey, it’s easier on me psychologically if it’s you and not me. Stay with me here. So, you’re plugging along in your story and suddenly, blam, you start questioning yourself. How am I doing? You worry. Will anyone want to read this? You fret. Who cares what I have to say anyway?! You panic. These conversations can occur late at night while you’re wired up on caffeine or feeling a little loopy from an extra glass of wine. But, they can definitely occur when you’re in the middle of your WIP and you’re starting to question what in the name of Peter, Paul, and Mary got you moving along this particular writing path in the first place.

Not pointing any fingers here, but that’s definitely happened to someone on this boat. Ok, I give up. It’s me. In fact, my moments of vulnerability have been aired out on my own blog and my critique group here on the boat are certainly privy to them.

Now, what keeps you, er... me, ok us, going through this? What stops us from closing up that file and burying it under our beds (or at least in the back of the Word.doc files)? What gives us the strength to keep writing through the black moments in our work?

Our point, that’s what. That bit of truth at the core of the story.

And don’t tell me that you don’t have a point because I’m sure you do.

I’ve been reading romance a long time and the books that stay with me stay because they said something. Their message or core idea didn’t have to end poverty, promote world peace, or cure cancer but it had to resonate inside of me. At the end, I would put the book down and feel uplifted, like I understood the world just little better.

This past week, I realized that I had something to say. Who knew, huh?

In my WIP, my heroine, Cory, watched her father’s unrequited love of her mother and vows to avoid love’s complications in her own marriage. My hero, Will, has been burned by love in the past and isn’t sure that it’s worth trying again. Through the course of their story, they realize that love is worth any risk.

Sounds like an ok story, right? My characters learn something, the end. But, in fact, this story means more to me than that. This story gets at what I personally have to say to the world; that really, there isn’t anything as important as love.

This message is what keeps me pushing. I know that others have tackled this theme. I have no delusions that I am the first, or last, writer to express this thought. But, like those great stories I’ve read, I’m hoping that I tell the story in such a way that my reader, after turning that last page, feels like they understand the world a little bit better too.

So, dearest wenches, what is it that you are trying to say (ie, what’s your Core Idea)? What keeps you writing your story through your black moments? How do you shore up that sagging middle? And when do you feel the weakest in your writing, morning, night, beginning of story vs the end, sex scenes vs black moments? Do tell.

Breaking the Rules

2008-01-23T00:00:00.000-06:00

It’s not often you’ll find me conforming to a set of rules that everyone follows. I don’t follow specific patterns. I normally don’t allow someone to lead me (though I will admit to the occasional moment where I’m passive). There is a South Park episode, “I’m so much of a non-conformist that I’ll non-conform to you non-conforming.”

That would be me.

So typically when I write, I disregard any rules that I find ridiculous. You can tell sometimes, but I don’t care. I write for fun. I write for enjoyment. I write to edit later. And since Hellion blogged about rules yesterday (which I found funny because I was already set to write this one about not obeying the rules) I figured it would be fun to get a take on rules you can live without when writing a novel.

But that will come later.

So a few weeks ago our lovely Capt’n Hellion and I had our monthly writing meeting. Just to give you an idea of how our meetings normally start off:

“Hi. My name is Sin.”
*Hi, Sin*
“I have a problem.”
*What kind of problem?*
“A procrastination/daydreaming problem.”
*hush comes over the crowd* “You need the room on the left just down the hall.”

Confused look. “Well what meeting is this?”
*murmur* “This is the Sexaholics Anonymous.”
Pulling up a chair. “Well in that case I’m staying.”

See what I mean?

Or maybe you don’t.

Anyway, Hellion says to me, “You need this character interview.” And she says it in that voice that shouts to me, “And you damn well better use it!” But she would never say this to me.

At least I don’t think.

And I say to that. “Alright.” Which in Sin-Speak is, “But I’m not going to use it.”
(Sorry Hellion but you already knew that. LOL)

Okay, so I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say *sigh* that I pulled this little character interviewer thingy out after a good brainstorming session with our Powder Monkey Lisa and felt like I needed to make sure I knew who my heroine was. What I got was ten pages of her rambling on about computers. I liked it better when we didn’t know each other. She never rambled to me. She’s a quiet woman, reserved, knows how to hide her feelings. But there’s something about her coming home to face her past that has her rattling off like a nervous ninny.

So you might wonder what this has to do with rules.

First off, most people follow the writing rules (I don’t know if they are writing rules per se) and make an outline of their story. Write out detailed character sketches. Work hours on story boards, plot details, character arcs. I don’t do any of this so doing the character interview was like breaking my own rule.

Numero Uno in Sin’s House of Writing: Thou shall not outline.
Numero Dos in Sin’s House of Writing: Thou shall not conform to any particular writing style but do your own thing.
Numero Tres in Sin’s House of Writing: Thou shall always write the ending first.
Numero Cuatro in Sin’s House of Writing: Thou shall not question the character of your characters.
Numero Cinco in Sin’s House of Writing: Thou shall procrastinate all hours of the day when you could be writing.

And see, I’m breaking my own rules.

Hellion has rubbed off on me. Bah.

So getting back to what I said earlier. I want to hear from you my wonderful, faithful little reader of the ship. When you’re writing, what rule do you love to break? And if you don’t write (Bless your heart, you’re still sane) what rules do you like to break when you’re reading. (And if you say you flip to the ending to read…*Shaking head*)

The Golden Rule of All Writing

2008-01-22T00:00:00.000-06:00

Once upon a time, long before calendars were kept but not before things were recorded, God gave Moses a list of Ten Commandments, commandments we’ve spent the better part of several thousand years since breaking at every opportunity. (Some of us more than others.) Mostly, if you think about the commandments, they are rules for getting along with everyone else. They’re more rules of how to live a happy, full life. For instance, if you commit adultery with a woman whose husband is bigger than you and also owns a gun, odds are you will not live a long and happy life. It just makes good sense.

Many rules for writing are there to help the writer have a full, happy writing life. There are a number of writing commandments. Thou shalt not commit the sin of atrocious grammar and spelling. Thou shall be most engaging in your story opening and maintain a breakneck pace throughout the story’s arc. If you’re writing a romance, thou shalt have the hero make love only with the heroine; if he has a mistress at the beginning of the tale and she is not the heroine, he will give her her farewell necklace soon after he meets the heroine. Thou shalt show and not tell. Thou shalt not commit the sin of passive voice.

On and on until we’re certain that there are more rules to writing than we could possibly ever learn or implement. We become paralyzed before the computer screen, wondering what grievous writing sin we’ll be committing today! It’s a wonder we ever reach the end of a single tale we craft.

Well, if you recall, once upon a time, long after Moses brought down those stone tablets, but again, before anyone kept any decent calendars, Jesus came and gave us the Golden Rule, which was, in essence, a rule that seemed to contain all the other commandments before it. If you kept this rule, you couldn’t help but keep the rest. Do unto others as you would have done unto you. (I.e. if you don’t want anyone cuckolding to you, don’t be going out and committing adultery, right? Makes sense to me.)

Writing also has a Golden Rule, one in which I believe if you abide by, all the other commandments are followed naturally. Ted Kooser, our national Poet Laureate and Pulitzer Prize winner—expressed it best. He said, “But in writing there are no rules other than to remember that somebody’s going to try to read what you’ve written and you don’t want to discourage that person.”

Makes sense, doesn’t it? Just write…and keep in mind someone else is going to read this. Try not to discourage them from getting to The End.

What’s your writing golden rule? What do you think is the best way to keep people reading to the end? Characters? Nail-biting pacing? The unforeseeable twist at the end?

SWP (Single Writing Pirate) looking for...

2008-01-21T06:00:00.000-06:00

I'll admit it, I've done the online dating thing before. And because technology is so wonderful, the internet knows this about me. So, the internet wants to help me out by showing me internet dating site advertisements ALL THE FREAKING TIME. Not that this gets bothersome or anything. I love all the false hope, empty promises and unrealistic portrayals. Love 'em.

What I've noticed lately about all these ads is these couples look freakishly alike. Have you noticed this? And don't pretend you haven't seen these ads. I can't be the only one who has ever reached this level of desperation. And if I am, humor me and pretend you've been that desperate.

Anyway, it's starting to freak me out how much these people look alike. Because if I'm supposed to find the man that looks exactly like me, I'm in trouble. That is going to be one very unattractive dude. These people could be brother and sister they're so similar. And I'm not about to go there. ICK!!!

But this made me think about our heroes and heroines. How do we know when these characters pop up that they are right for each other? How do we pair them up? Many authors write a series of connected books in which they take one character from a current book – say the hero's best friend – and make him the hero of the next book. Usually, that means the author then has to *find* him a heroine.

If he's Alpha, he'll need someone to stand up to him and perhaps smooth out his rough edges. But the last thing he needs is a woman who won't challenge him at all. If he's Beta, he'll need someone to give just the right kind and amount of encouragement to find his Alpha moment. A woman to balance out his sensitivity and love him just the way he is. This works in the opposite direction as well.

If a heroine is timid, she needs a man to bring her out of her shell. But a man who will see the woman hiding inside. If the heroine is bold and outspoken, she'll need a man who can appreciate her, not try to hush her up and most certainly, not let her walk all over him. Now, this all sounds perfectly logical, but then you have to create them – height, hair, eyes, laugh, wit, intelligence, attitude and overall personality. Here's where I'm thinking it gets tricky.

What if you've created these two you think are perfect together and at the 2/3 point of writing the book, they tell you they are absolutely wrong for each other? What then? So far, my characters have gelled together quite well. No complaints, no tantrums, no "I can't work with this person!" moments. But it could happen. *cue duuuuummmmm dad um dum music* I think the Captain's paranoia is rubbing off on me.

Is it just kismet that these characters show up together or the right one shows up at the right time? Or do we make them fit together? Is there a character fairy who comes to us writers in the night, sprinkles character fairy dust on our heads, and gives us these wonderfully compatible people? Or is it a crap shoot?

If you're a writer, how did you create your characters and how did you know they were meant for each other? If you're a reader, have there been couples that you've thought didn't work together? Any that you think are perfect and you couldn’t picture them with anyone else? And if you have a significant other, do people tell you you look alike or are they usually amazed that you two are a couple?

PS: I obviously stole the above picture from eHarmony but I've given them a great deal of money in the past and got not one date in return. I think we're even...

Writing Mystery Plots (Alternative Title, “Does This Sound Too Much Like Clue?”)

2008-01-21T05:30:00.000-06:00

I love a good mystery. In fact, I love a good mystery almost as much as I love a good romance. (*gasp*). Sherlock Holmes, James Bond, Dick Tracy… Nancy Drew. I confess to having seen practically every episode of Law and Order, some multiple times. I admit to adoring The Usual Suspects and The Fugitive. The whodunit aspect keeps me thinking, wondering, and engaged.

There is something about sitting down to watch or read a good mystery that gets all the brain cells working. It’s as if the story is challenging me to figure it out before it gives me the right answer. I get the same thrill when I watch Jeopardy, trying to answer the questions before the contestants. No one can hear me (at least I hope no one can hear me talking to myself), but I know if I got it correct faster than the other guy. And when I do, I feel a sense of elation. I won, at least in principle.

Reading mysteries is a little trickier because I have the answer to the whodunit right there in my hand. If I REALLY wanted to know whodunit, I could simply skip to the last couple chapters and piece it together. Yet, even when I do give in and read the end first – yes, I admit it, I have done that before – invariably I feel cheated. But, really, who cheated me? I did, and that’s the worst kinda cheating.

So, I try really hard to tough it out and figure it out on my own, fair and square. Sometimes you just have to be firm with yourself.

In the current overhaul of my WIP, I see a space for a mystery plot. In fact, I think it would be a great addition and something fun to write.

However, as I sat down to puzzle it out, I realized that writing a mystery is even harder than solving a mystery. In my case, I’m hoping to include a murder mystery. So, this isn’t just a “where did my heroine leave her glasses” kind of problem. Someone dies and I need to figure out who, what, when, where, and why as well as the how. Add that to all of the motivations in the romance portion of the plot and I’m going to need a map and GPS to get out of this story.

While puzzling over all these logistic details, I have the additional concerns of a mystery reader. I hate mysteries I solve too fast. I want a challenge. In fact, I don’t mind being outsmarted if the end result makes sense upon reflection. I’m trying to figure out a plot that isn’t obvious, that makes sense, but that feels fresh to both me and my reader. This seems to center around finding an unlikely, but believable, villain.

Having to defer to the mystery plot is a little frustrating as well. The romance is supposed to be number one, but I’m finding, when it comes to plotting, the murder trumps the love. I guess I have to smooth in the love around the murder.

So, it’s your turn, lovely wenches. If you’re writing a mystery plot, how are you doing it? What characters make unlikely, but good villains? What are some good motivations for murder? Anyone else yell out the answers to Jeopardy?

By the way, I know I said I was going to blog about babies and puppies this week, but alas, it wasn’t to be. Here’s something to tide you over, though.

Hottie Crew Member of the Week

2008-01-20T06:00:00.000-06:00

So the Romance Writer's Revenge is a rather large ship. All these masts and riggings and decks are too much for five little writing pirates to maintain. Have you ever swabbed a deck? It ain't easy! We can't be spending all of our time on upkeep and not enough on our most important task – writing. Yes, Captain, drinking rum is important but it's not most important. Damn lush..

Anyway, I had the idea we need to fill out the ranks, so to speak. I happened to know Powder Monkey Lisa has a rather large collection of – what shall we call them – resumes on hand. Yes, resumes. Hot, steaming, oiled and wet resumes. So, we started there and each Sunday we will introduce a new member of the crew.

For our first introduction, we had to present the men who truly inspired all of this pirate mayhem. The men originally of the Black Pearl and now sailing the Romance Writer's Revenge.

Ah, Captain Jack Sparrow. A cheeky, often feminine, at times inept pirate but always entertaining. Jack has that gleam in his eye that tells you he could do amazing things to and with your body and a smile that makes you want to give him the chance to show you. His compass may not point north but it's not north you want him to be finding, now is it?

Then there's Will Turner. Pretty to be sure and it's true he started out a lowly blacksmith, but through his veins runs the blood of a pirate and the pretty boy has become a sex-on-a-stick pirate if there ever was one. His sensitive heart, unwavering loyalty and willingness to truly "give his heart" for his lady makes him a vital part of any sea-worthy crew.

There you have them, the true inspirations for much of the tawdry business we get up to around here. And the inspirations for many a wet drea…..errr….dashing hero. We hope you'll sail with us during the week and we promise another titillating Hottie Crew Member of the Week next Sunday. Trust me, you won't want to miss it. *wg*

Now, we're off to entertain our guests...

My Third Grade Theory

2008-01-18T05:00:00.000-06:00

All of my life I have written stories to cope with insecurities and disappointments. In school, I was never the most popular, the most athletic, or the girl who always got the guy. However, in my mind, or on paper I could be. In the third grade, I stood in front of the class and told a story that included all of my classmates. I remember it well, because in the story, I was pretty, athletic, and I got the guy in the end. When I was done with my dissertation, my teacher, with a Cheshire grin on her face said, “You have some imagination.”

Imagination is a writer’s best friend. With a vivid imagination and the ability to put ideas into words a WIP can become a dream fulfilled. In the past week, I’ve doubted my ability to write a soup can label, let alone an original story. I’m chalking it up to a bad week, and mimicking the Scarlett O’Hara attitude- "I’ll think about that tomorrow."

When I started writing fan fiction, it was a lot like my experience in the third grade. I didn’t like how the Janet Evanovich series was progressing so I wrote it my way. When reading Evanovich or other authors I admire, I challenge myself to plot an even better story. More often times than not, I create characters who overcome something that I’ve always struggled with emotionally or physically.

I’ve been overweight the majority of my life; you would think that when I envision my heroine in my WIP she would be thin with curves in all the right places.

Wrong.

My heroine is at least 20 pounds overweight. I figure if I have to struggle with this so should she. It’s what I know, and believe me, I can write it realistically. Over 50% of America’s population is obese; I surmise that my readers can relate to an overweight heroine. You might ask how realistic is it to believe a dead sexy hero would choose an overweight counterpart? Maybe not often, but back to my third grade theory-I can make my hero fall in love with anyone I choose. Besides, my real life hero loves me for who I am, and I believe that all true heroes should feel the same way.

I can also build a plot around any scenario I want as long as it’s believable. This brings me to my current demise. I’ve been struggling the past week to begin my first WIP. I had my mind set on writing an inspirational romance. I researched the guidelines put forth by some popular Christian publishers. They set many restrictive limits, some I agree with and some I don’t. It was difficult for me to edit scenes and dialog that I’ve had in my mind for so long, to fit a certain set of standards. In light of this revelation, I have decided I need to write what I know, and that is romantic suspense or contemporary romance. Maybe I’ll struggle like a fish out of water for a while, but eventually I’ll find my stride. For the first time in my life, I don’t want to use my third grade theory. I don’t want to write a book about a girl who is published. I want to write a book that gets the girl published.

Do you have a third grade theory? How did you decide what type of romance you wanted to write, or are you not limiting yourself to one specific genre? Did you struggle when you started your first WIP?

Laughing Me Right Off the Boat

2008-01-17T00:00:00.000-06:00

I grew up in a loud, rowdy Irish Catholic family characterized by equal parts healthy debate (read: scream until you’re red in the face arguing) and side-splitting hysteria. My father had to be the funniest person I knew and my mother was his constant straight (wo)man.

Therefore, I love to laugh. In fact, I would say that my life is defined by laughter. I laugh at crazy times. For example, after breaking a nail which in turn runs my hose which in turn causes me to change my outfit while running incredibly late only to find that the baby needs a diaper after he’s already in his coat and now we’ll never make it on time to church (again), I laugh. When I make a long list to go to the grocery store, only to leave it on the counter, but at least I remembered to put on my lipstick, I laugh. In fact, I laugh while sitting in traffic when people behind me honk as if that is just the catalyst to get the rush hour traffic in NJ jumpstarted. Oh, and I still laugh every time I tell my husband that my nose is running only too hear him say, “you better go catch it, ha ha ha.” (Yeah, it’s just as stupid sounding in person, trust me, but that’s why it’s funny). I just enjoy the amalgam of irony, sarcasm, and slapstick ever present in the world around me.

What does this have to do with writing, you ask? So far it just sounds like I’ve flipped my suburban housewife mind, you say. Not at all. Well, maybe, but that’s a different blog.
Today I want talk about how humor affects my writing. And, because we wenches here on the boat tend to drag the rest of you down with us, by default I’d like to know how humor affects your writing as well.

So many authors do comedy in romance well. Julie Garwood, Julia Quinn, and Sherrilyn Kenyon, to name a few of my favorites.

I think some of my WIP is funny, but I am not sure that I’ve set out to make it funny on purpose. This frightens me a little because humor is such a subjective thing. What I think is funny might leave others cold. I worry about putting humor in on purpose because then I feel like it sounds forced. On the other hand, if the story is playing out in my mind as I am writing it down, removing stuff that I think is funny because I’m worried it really ISN’T funny leaves my voice sounding stilted and forced too. *sigh*

Ultimately, I think “funny” is just something that is. It isn’t something you can force to be in your voice if it isn’t there naturally and it isn’t something you can take out of your voice if it’s there of its own accord.

What do you think about humor in novels? What makes it work, what doesn’t work? Who do you think does it well or not? I think we’re a funny bunch of aspiring pirates. Does that humor show up in your novel(s)? Finally, does anyone else laugh in traffic? Oh, it’s just me huh? Whatever people….

Winging it Despite Total Chaos

2008-01-16T00:00:00.000-06:00

Really, what better way is there?

Last night, right before midnight, my contest deadline hit. And I’ve gotta say, I’ve written better. I’ve written a helluva lot cleaner. And I’ve done a better job with characters. But I tried something new. I blazed a path I hadn’t taken before and wrote in third person. I can’t say that it was fun. But I pushed through it. I learned that I’m a first person writer. That’s for sure. I learned that I can write 20,000 words in 12 hours if it’s after midnight. Most of it was crap and had to be revised, but I put an END on it and went about my merry way rewriting and revising to the point I was cross-eyed.

I’ve spoke about winging it before. Winging it is more like controlled chaos (okay no such thing). I’m a pantser. I wing my blogs. I wing my way through writing. And I wing my way through life (most of the time). I suppose that just shows you that I like to break the rules. So if I have to learn something, well, I just do it. I had no idea how to write in third person. I had no idea how I was going to write a story in 18,000 words or less. I really didn’t know what I was going to write about. I wrote the end, then wrote another ending. Changed the beginning- oh I dunno- six times. Took scenes out. Added them back in. Jumped POV (really, the ability to jump POV is not a good thing for me. I’m seriously ADHD with POV’s) and decided that maybe an erotica in first person would’ve been a better choice.

*sigh* Then I figured that might get kinda pervy and ditched that idea.

All the while, I was working my buns off mentally to get this story right. I had my characters right. I could see them in my mind’s eye. I could hear their voice. Interacted with them while I was sleeping. Spent countless nights being up until way past my bedtime with the laptop on and the Word document up. Discovered a new love for heavy metal cellist. And Borders’ clearance sales. All the while, I was thinking about my story. How was I going to make it work? How was I going pull it together when I couldn’t fight my way out of a paper sack at this point?

I wanted to give up. I even thought about it a few times. More than a few times. It would’ve been easy to pretend the file went “poof” and not be able to write another one. But all things good in life are hard to come by. A story is the same way. You never know when it might come to you on how to make it click. In my case, it was 3am on Monday night last week. I had to write it down on my notebook on my nightstand and I woke up the next morning looking at it like it was written in code.

So I guess the point to this most irrelevant blog today is if you don’t succeed the first time, you better not pretend like you lost the file and walk away. No matter if there is chaos going on inside of that little pantser mind of yours. Keep thinking. Keep going. Don’t give up. Believe in yourself.

My question of the day is: Which POV do you prefer to write in, first or third? Why? And have you ever tried the other just to see what you could do?